Mahjong Lemon Angel

~ MAHJONG LEMON ANGEL ~

Naxat Soft / Fairy Dust / Home Data

Super CD-ROM

1994

Lemon Angel provides three separate fun-filled adventures for you to enjoy. Of course, the first thing you have to do is select an anime girl to go adventuring with...

...and then the two of you go skiing, camping, swimming, partying, and so on.

Once you arrive at a location and exchange a few words with your gal pal, you have no choice but to play some mahjong with her, as victory at mahjong is the only way to ensure that matters in the universe will proceed harmoniously.

The game is an ace in all areas of presentation: the artwork is appealing, and the music is very, very good. All of the girls are likable, and you can hang with each of them through lots of different trips and activities. The only question, then, is whether or not the mahjong action is handled adequately. Dignified Duomazov ally and Mahjong Master M1Savage had warned me before I started playing the game that its chicks are ruthless.

"For young girls, they really know their mahjong," he said.

Indeed, these ladies mean business.

But while its women possess the MAHJONGAL ACUMEN to win very quickly, the game is incredibly generous to the player. I really couldn't believe my "luck" with a lot of the amazing hands that were dealt and timely tiles that turned up. Basically, Lemon Angel would like you to have fun and would like to keep things moving along, and to those ends, it makes sure there's a winner pretty much every round. Sure, it's not exactly realistic in this respect, but it's a hell of a lot more enjoyable than mahjong titles that make you endure unwinnable hands or slag through stalemate after stalemate. You won't hear much "NOTEN!"/"TENPAI!" stuff here.

And with the mahjong aspect taken care of in welcome fast-paced fashion, and considering all its other virtues, Lemon Angel doesn't need any kind of gimmick to remain entertaining. I'm sure most people would expect some "naughtiness" given the premise, but the game never gets all that naughty, nor does it really need to. Sure, you get the occasional panty shot and silly "stumbling into the shower" bit, and you can "check out" the chicks in their bathing suits and assorted silly outfits, but that's as far as things go.

It's mild material... and the game is really, really good, definitely one of my favorite PC Engine mahjong titles. And since it plays out so quickly and smoothly and is so easy to get into, it would make for a great introduction to mahjong gaming if you're intrigued by the genre but haven't gotten your feet wet yet. It should be inexpensive and easy to track down, so check it out!

Cratermaze (Doraemon Meikyuu Daisakusen)

~ CRATERMAZE ~

(JPN: DORAEMON MEIKYUU DAISAKUSEN)

Hudson Soft / NEC (US)

HuCard

1990 (JPN: 1989)

Because I'd been a fan of handheld gaming in the days prior to the release of the NES, and because Super Mario Land was pretty neat, I made the mistake of purchasing a Gameboy when I was a kid. Of course, pickings were slim when it came time to acquire some games for the system--so slim that one title I actually considered was Boomer's Adventure in Asmik World. Digging holes for some goofy enemies to fall into didn't sound like much fun, but I found Asmik World's main character--a crudely drawn, funny-looking pink dinosaur thing--oddly amusing. Thankfully, manliness and common sense eventually prevailed, and I bought Nemesis instead. I had a chance to try Boomer's game a short time later and realized I'd chosen wisely.

The reason I've told you this decidedly uninteresting story is that when Cratermaze came out, it seemed an awful lot like Asmik World to me, except with a Bomberman clone for a main character instead of an endearing dinosaur thing. This time, I wasn't interested. I saw it as a typical NEC stateside release, a largely unnecessary title that didn't seem to do anything at all to show what the system was really capable of. At a time when the Turbo was seeing so few releases and when the system seemed to be fighting for credibility (after the whole "it's not 16-bit" revelation and all), NEC delivered this unimpressive, piddly little "puzzler." To me, that seemed like a poor decision on their part, and I ignored the game's existence for years and years.

Look, this isn't going to be some Cinderella story about how Cratermaze blew me away once I finally bought it, but it isn't a terrible game. In fact, as far as these "waddle around and bury things alive" games go, I reckon it's probably pretty good. It has very nice music, presents opening and closing "cinematics," features a few different level themes, tosses in things like teleporters and bouncy springs to make the action a bit trickier and more enjoyable (leaping over walls is a lot of fun for some reason), lets you obtain freeze guns and yo-yos and other helpful weapons and items, and even throws in a couple bosses.

All of that being said, there's still only so much that can be done with a concept that would seem to be a better fit for a Gameboy title. Cratermaze is surprisingly fast-paced; but at a length of sixty boards, it feels very long and repetitive, and it's extremely easy, especially when played on its default difficulty setting. Frankly, it seems like it was meant to be played in its expert mode, as that's the way to see all the enemy types and face foes who are actually aggressive. Once you've adjusted the difficulty, the game still won't feel very challenging, but it will certainly be a little more fun, and at least it won't seem like something designed for babies. However, expert mode has to be unlocked via a complete playthrough, and not everyone will feel enticed to give the game another go after finishing one sixty-stage quest.

While this is common knowledge at this point, I feel obligated to mention that the PC Engine version of the game, Doraemon Meikyuu Daisakusen, features Doraemon as its main character (of course) rather than the Bomberman wannabe. This means that you can expect differences in the opening, closing, and "reunion" scenes, along with different in-game icons, not to mention a different final boss. The music was also changed up, and Cratermaze's soundtrack is actually superior, though DMD's is okay.

I prefer the US release because of its music, but the game in either form ends up being a fairly enjoyable title and a bit of a pleasant surprise. Of course, I must note that as far as these overhead "action-puzzle" things go, Bomberman '93 is a higher-quality title, with tougher gameplay, more bosses, and even better music. Actually, Batman makes for a better comparison as far as pacing and action style go, and it, too, is superior to Crater (and of course has better music, as Batman's tunes are incredible). But hey, if you'd like something kind of along the Batman lines, this is a cheap, enjoyable option.

Jantei Monogatari

~ JANTEI MONOGATARI ~

Renovation / Telenet / Atlus

CD-ROM

1990

In Jantei, you play a "cool" detective guy whom a truly cool detective guy like J.B. Harold would probably kick the living shit out of. It's up to you to solve a kidnapping. Of course, the only people who can help you are girls...

...and, of course, they won't tell you what they know until you've beaten them at mahjong.

Once you've crushed them, all of their dignity is forever lost, so they spill their guts freely.

It's an incredible journey, featuring three things most dudes love to find in video games:

ACTION

WOMEN

MOTORCYCLE RIDES

Actually, it's pretty horrible. The mahjong screen is as dull as can be, and with a lot of hands, losing seems unavoidable. The premise is ridiculous, the story is goofy and dull and just keeps getting worse as it goes along, and many of the girls are very weird-looking (and yes, this matters--if a mahjong game is going to feature a mostly female cast as one of its main drawing points, the girls should not be awkwardly drawn messes). Better things were yet to come for this series, but this first chapter is a dud.

Dragon Slayer: The Legend of Heroes

~ DRAGON SLAYER ~

Falcom / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1992

Falcom is famous among Turbo fans for their classic action-RPGs (Ys, Xanadu, Brandish, Popful Mail, et al.), but with Legend of Heroes they displayed a willingness to deviate from bump-and-run quests and dabble instead in turn-based battles and lengthy spell lists. Dragon Slayer is a traditional-style RPG, but veterans of the aforementioned titles will feel right at home upon seeing its neat little character sprites and windowed-in playfield--signature elements of Falcom fantasy.

Falcom is also known for keeping things simple, and they didn't allow a greater reliance on menus here to dictate that the gameplay would be slow or cumbersome. In fact, Dragon Slayer's combat is incredibly fast-paced; these are the quickest scrums to be found in a 16-bit adventure. The awesome swiftness with which your company annihilates their opposition helps make up for the mediocre enemy art, drawings that disappoint doubly when stacked up against the cool monster designs found in fellow US RPG release, Cosmic Fantasy 2.

The bosses are a little more impressive than their minions design-wise, but the best thing about them is that they actually demand a little thought, a bit of strategy, on the player's part. Merely trading shots won't do the trick unless you've spent a lot of time power leveling.

While the field graphics are endearingly simplistic and the battle graphics are, well, disappointingly simplistic, there's nothing simplistic at all about DS's soundtrack. The compositions can't match up with the best of Ys, but Ryo Yonemitsu's arrangements definitely call to mind the brilliance of Book I & II's music.

Nothing is very Ys-like about the cinemas, unfortunately. Opening and closing sequences are all you get, and the artwork is mostly ho-hum, with just a few cool images...

...and gratuitous doses of goofiness.

There aren't all that many stirring in-game moments, either. Some scenes make quite an impact, like when Prince Logan and company discover that the townsfolk surrounding them are actually shape-changing rock beasts, and an intense chase ensues. But for the most part, this is typical town-to-field-to-cave progression, with a focus on grinding rather than drama. You spend two-thirds of the adventure chasing after a runaway bad guy who can hardly measure up to Sephiroth, and there is little joy to be felt during his anticlimactic slaying.

But while Dragon Slayer doesn't deliver much in the way of suspense, it at least has a sense of humor. I can't help but be amused by Ethan's ridiculously long-winded ramblings on justice, gangster-type Giles telling off his Brando-of-a-grandpa, and tough-guy Captain Morgan wincing as his dear old mum administers a stern disciplinary lecture--not to mention the many instances where characters suddenly overflow with rage and mouth off at (or outright attack) one another.

The laughably hammy voicework adds to the comedy. Logan's VA in particular was so poorly suited for the role that one can't help but chuckle whenever the lad speaks, especially during the pretentious exchange that takes place after the final battle. The kid looks like he's twelve (if that) yet speaks with the voice of an uptight thirty-year-old.

Obviously, the cheesiness here won't appeal to everyone. If you want a serious adventure, well, this ain't the ideal game for you. You've gotta be willing to laugh when something's silly--even if the silliness isn't always intentional. And if you are, you'll discover that DS is not only mechanically sound and super-swift in action, but highly entertaining as well.

L-Dis

~ L-DIS ~

NCS/Masaya

CD-ROM

1991

Sunny skies lend to the wonderful sense of freedom our two heroes experience when breaking free of the bondage that is junior high. The final bell of the day brings limitless possibilities -- homework a trifling matter when the weather is so beautiful and the trial that was the school day is left conquered and forgotten. But youth goes hand-in-hand with recklessness, and in accordance with this proven rule, the newly freed students decide to shun the potential for constructive activity -- instead opting to duck into a dreary alley and smear a complacent brick wall with all sorts of wacky illustrations.

And so they doodle away the late afternoon, taking pride in their ability to contribute to the neighborhood’s desecration -- until a scrawny sorcerer comes along and brings their creations to life, transforming the products of their imaginations into ruthless beasts of destruction. Of course, he abducts the female member of our duo as well. You know what comes next. One’s woman must be rescued and vengeance must be had.

What a way to spend a sunny day.

Recognized for the cinematic magnificence of Macross 2036 and notorious for the bodybuilding abominations known as the Choaniki episodes, NCS/Masaya cranked out another shooter for the Duo that has received substantially less fanfare over time. While 2036 represents their attempt at an intense Thunder-Force-style blastathon and the Choanikis are simply, well, odd, L-Dis stands as the company’s foray into the world of cartoonishness. If the opening cutscene detailing our heroes’ plight doesn’t clue you in on this, then the mere appearance of your ship certainly will: this tool of destruction resembles a piece of bubble gum roughly molded into the form of Fantasy Zone‘s Opa Opa and plastered with eyeballs.

Up to two goofy mechanical allies can team up with the heroic little craft at any point, contributing their own brands of firepower. Minuscule as the members of our fellowship may be, they sure can deal out some damage, and they definitely do their jobs in interesting fashion. Human hands fly forward to pelt your enemies, women’s shoes drop to the ground and slide along the terrain, deadly missiles-with-feet soar to the top of the screen and dash onwards, a rubber-egg-of-death bounces about the playfield, and a smiley-faced energy burst clears the path ahead. Just as lethal as they are unique (or should I simply say “weird”), all of these weapons can be at your disposal simultaneously. And this conglomeration represents but one of many possible combinations.

Use that mighty weaponry to obliterate Stage 1's toy snakes and talking clams. Admire the personality that the enemy cast is imbued with -- it’s typical for your larger foes to exchange a few words with you, and even the genre’s standard mini-cannons are granted cute mini-eyeballs.

The nighttime city scene that is Stage 2 boasts the type of super-fast scrolling that NCS/Masaya enjoyed flaunting in 2036. Your ship really kicks things into high gear, zipping past looming structures, tearing through cyclopean ships and speedy vehicles that act as the mini-cannons’ convoy, slowing down only when confronted by a gargantuan Egg of Doom that flutters about the screen through the use of two tiny golden wings. Defeat this abomination and descend into the underground, where large rats lunge towards you by flapping their enormous ears, and a silly, slinky, orange-hurling robot attempts to thrash you by utilizing its slithering body and citrus brand of weaponry.

And all along, you’ll be privy to the cute, catchy tunes that comprise L-Dis‘ comforting, nostalgia-inducing soundtrack. The game has a distinctly old-school feel about it--no wailing guitars or pounding drums, just warm tunes that seem to welcome you back each time you power the game up. Similarly endearing are the “pyoom! pyoom!" sound effects that often substitute for flat-out explosions.

Oh, but you will hear explosions. Large, thunderous explosions, akin to 2036‘s beautiful ear-bleeders. And they will act as your first clue that L-Dis isn’t quite as warm and cutesy as it's first cracked up to be.

In fact, this game crushed me repeatedly when I first obtained it years ago. I eventually realized that finding weapons you're comfortable with and mastering the use of the option pods are the keys here. Memorization and reflexes won't get you through the game if you aren't competent with the auxiliary weaponry.

This isn't a very cute "cute 'em up," and I don't say that just because it's hard. Sure, there's a bubblegum-ball ship, some funny voices, and final credits that are kind of like a cartoony take on Ys', but you're not traveling through a land of pastels and silliness. After the pretty twilight sky of the first stage, you get cities and sewers and bases that Opa Opa wouldn't be caught dead visiting.

The sub-aquatic kingdom that is Stage 4 returns to the game's cartoonish roots, and its icy brilliance marks the adventure’s highest point, although the bullet-spewing octopi and stone-faced submarines let you know that your enemies are done “being cute.”

From this point on, things get downright tough. Which is fine. A cartoony answer to the likes of Gaiares and R-Type seems like a brilliant concept. Finally, refuge for the shooter pro who has had his fill of spaceships and alien mutants.

Sadly, when L-Dis decides to get tough, it also chooses to leave behind much of its cartoony charm. The flying rabbits of Stage 5 can’t offset the dull, ugly, brown-and-purple structures we’re forced to navigate.

And Stage 6, while boasting a level of difficulty bordering on the level of insanity, manages to bore us with laser-spewing robots and R-Type-like “navigate the maze of moving blocks” sequences. The streams of lasers seem never-ending and the mazes are cleverly designed (the concept is typical but the block patterns are not), and any level that features twelve damn bosses (and we're not talking rehashes of earlier guys) definitely deserves some respect...

...but this just isn’t the same L-Dis that we came to love early on. It’s like a novel that features a deep, clever conclusion -- but not the conclusion that one was hoping for.

And that stands as the reason why L-Dis isn’t an elite shooter -- but it sure as hell doesn’t mean that it isn’t a wonderful game. The super music, comedic voices, and cleverly designed boss characters are indisputable signs that NCS/Masaya put a great deal of heart and effort into the title. Throw in attractive visuals, an innovative weapons system, and a challenge that’s sure to last, and you wind up with a game that any PC Engine shooter fan would be proud to own.

It’s a great way to waste a sunny day.