Super Star Soldier

~ SUPER STAR SOLDIER ~

Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1991

I know that a lot of people like this game, but I've never been a big fan of it. I think it's ugly, sloppy, unoriginal, and clearly inferior to other Turbo space verts like Soldier Blade, Blazing Lazers, and Nexzr. Let's take a level by level look at this "classic space journey":

Stage 1 - Generic opening space stage. The music here is the best to be found in the game, though it's not as good as Soldier Blade's first-stage tune or practically anything from BL's soundtrack.

Stage 2 - I've seen this level in way too many other verts. Tanks patrol the green landscape that you must fly over before you reach a coastal base and then the sea, where the usual floating hunk of metal awaits.

Stage 3 - Extremely ugly desert stage. The popular scorpion boss looks cool, though he's easy to defeat.

Stage 4 - Generic space stage with an orange circle in the backdrop. Wonderful. The huge robot at the end would be just another bum in Soldier Blade, but he's one of the highlights here.

Stage 5 - Another stage straight from a million other shooters. Shoot the chunks of ice and watch them break into smaller parts. Serpents slink around in the meantime. The action isn't too terrible here. The "monster that blows up and becomes a snake" boss is lame.

Stage 6 - This one reminds me a lot of Blazing Lazers, with the fast scrolling and multitudes of small foes to fend off. Decent stage with good action.

Stage 7 - Possibly the best level of the game. Launching an attack on a large battleship is nothing new, but the inside actually looks pretty cool and the speed run at the end is enjoyable enough. The meek spider duo should've been left out.

Stage 8 - Ah, the old boss gauntlet. Sadly, you have to fight through a seemingly endless stretch of minor riffraff before you reach it. I can't complain much about the final battle, though.

Stages 5-7 represent the best stretch of action that the game has to offer, but there's nothing here to match the intensity of BL's toughest levels, nothing that calls for strategy like Nexzr's tightest sequences, and very few bosses that can compete with Soldier Blade's multi-attack giants. The music isn't very good, and the graphics are quite bad; and there really aren't enough neat and/or original concepts to make up for the lackluster superficials. The best things I can say are that it plays well enough to be mediocre rather than disastrous and it offers a reasonably high level of challenge.

New Adventure Island

~ NEW ADVENTURE ISLAND ~

Hudson Soft / TTI

HuCard

1992

I've always liked NAI's little introductory bits, when kidnappings take place and angry Higgins holds up his fist against a fiery backdrop. It's even more awesome than the Last Alert BURNING KAZAMA scene! Well, not really...but it definitely beats the "Mode 7 falling fat man" nonsense in Super Adventure Island for the SNES.

Sadly, I'm old and crabby now, so I don't get a kick out of the "showtime" intermissions anymore (a chubby guy dancing around with a bunch of animals--blech). What makes me crabbier is the rather poor music. The graphics range from typical old-school platformer stuff to rather impressive multi-layer material. Almost the entire adventure is cake, with no truly tricky spots until stage 6 (of 7), and every boss (including the last one) is easy to defeat.

You'd think that all of these factors would combine to produce a rather mediocre game, but New Adventure Island is actually one of the most enjoyable HuCard games around. The fast-paced action is its bread and butter, and once I get going with this chip, I pretty much can't stop playing. While it's not particularly tough, it keeps you leaping, dashing, and tossing constantly, all at a quick, unabated pace. You've always got to be on your toes, and the smooth controls really allow you to get in a zone and just enjoy the breezy ride, making it a perfect biding-time, pick-up-and-play sort of adventure. It doesn't have any memorable moments that will stick with you forever, but its pure playability will make you return to it often, making its general lack of difficulty forgivable.

These fools should've known better than to mess with Master Higgins on his wedding day.

The Mario-style agenda: four sub-stages per "world," with the fourth taking place in a boss's castle.

It ain't all "sunny island" stuff.

You can see some appealing multi-layer scrolling in a few of the cavern levels.

I suppose that these guys loosely qualify as "mini-bosses."

Despite Higgins' concerned countenance, the bosses are easy to beat. The bear can cause some trouble with his "ice wall" attack, though.

Bozhe moi.

Beat this bum and get your woman back.

TV Sports Hockey

~ TV SPORTS HOCKEY ~

Cinemaware / NEC

HuCard

1991

I bought TV Sports Hockey back when it was originally released, and I liked it at first. But then I had the chance to play NHL Hockey for Genesis, which seemed so much more realistic and impressive. At this point, the only things I like about TVSH are the close-up graphics and the title-screen music. A few of the primary problems:

-The passing game is unforgivably sloppy. You aim in the general direction you want to send the pass and pray that the puck goes tape to tape.

-You must abide by a ridiculous, old-fashioned "moving arrow" system when determining the direction of your shot.

-It's very slow on the whole.

-The option to compete against another player is practically worthless because if one team has a very fast line, they can easily outskate the other team and get countless breakaway opportunities.

-It simply doesn't simulate real hockey (as far as player positioning, on-ice action, etc.) nearly as well as NHL.

Teams represent different countries this time. No more "Sharks" or "Zombies."

No more long season modes, either. Just a quick tourney.

Attribute ratings are assigned to units rather than to individual players (except in the cases of goalies).

Shoot when the arrow's in the right spot, a la Blades of Steel.

The close-ups look pretty good... relatively speaking.

Goal!

TV Sports Football

~ TV SPORTS FOOTBALL ~

Cinemaware / NEC

HuCard

1990

The tragedy here is that I was actually psyched for this game when it first came out. The PC version had a good reputation, and VG&CE gave the Turbo port high scores. (I think this was before I realized that VG&CE regularly gave console ports of popular computer games generous scores, probably the one bad thing about their reviews.) As I quickly discovered, and as everyone now knows, the game is a dud.

Everything on offense is busted. The passing system is the most unintuitive that I've ever experienced in a football game. You need to point the quarterback's arm in the direction that you want him to throw the ball. They had nice intentions with it (they wanted you to "lead" your receivers like a real quarterback), but it just feels horrible. I ended up exploiting the play where a receiver crosses over the middle of the field, since I could just leave the QB's arm pointing straight ahead, and the computer couldn't defend the play well anyway. Rushing isn't a valid alternative as your running back can't push forward and create his own holes in the line. You have to wait for your OL to open up a hole, and even if you sneak through one, you won't get far before a linebacker decks you.

Defense controls well enough, and I like how the players grunt and growl with every tackle. But the computer-controlled offense is inept, so there's not much you actually need to do on defense. And the gameplay is far too slow to be much fun anyway.

There's the typical Cinemaware cutting-corners stuff here. You don't kick the ball off, just like you don't participate in tip-offs in TV Sports Basketball. These are such stupid omissions. EGM claimed the game had a good halftime show, but I don't ever recall seeing a halftime show in my copy. And while I'm certainly not the kind of gamer who demands real players and teams and whatnot in his sports games, I do like some individuality among the fantasy league's players. World Class Baseball was one of the best for this. Even TV Sports Basketball had its speedy guards, deadly shooters, slow benchwarmers, etc. The players in this game just seem like generic bums waddling around a field.

The one good thing is the field goal kicking. In fact, the best way to have "fun" with TVSF is to shun the regular game modes entirely and head to practice instead, and just keep choosing to attempt field goals. The close-up field goal screen actually looks pretty good, and the attempts they have you make can be tricky sometimes, depending on angle and distance. Yeah, this will get boring relatively quickly, but it really is about all the chip has to offer.

Needless to say, Cinemaware didn't quite get an official NFL license.

Wow, feels like watching a real game on TV, huh.

There isn't much to the playbook, but on offense you should stick with just one play anyway, the Pro-set crossing pattern...

Just keep your QB's arm pointed straight and let your receiver cross over the middle...

...for an easy completion almost every time.

Yes, I think I actually did play through an entire season when I first bought the game as a kid. Maybe even more than once. The things we'll do to convince ourselves we got our money's worth...

Kicking is definitely the coolest looking and most enjoyable part.

Timeball (Blodia)

Manuel Constantinidis/Hudson Soft - 1990 - U.S.A.
HuCard

Ahh, the infamous Timeball. Even in the US, it's probably better known as Blodia (its name in regions outside the US). Timeball endures the brunt of many-a-thrashing at the hands of Turbo players, often times being abused as an object of comparison by which to gauge a game's suckitude.

"Well, at least it's better than Blodia."
"That game sucks worse than Blodia! A rare achievement indeed!"
Etc.

And for what? Is Timeball really the epitome of all that was awful and putrid during the 16-bit era? In a word: no.

Those out there who know me know that I'm a sucker for a good puzzle game. And while I'd be going out on a limb by saying that Timeball classes with the best of 'em, it's many times removed from the worst of 'em.

So just what is it about Timeball that evokes such raw hatred from everyone? I've observed a definite correlation in the video game universe that ties a given title's difficulty with how much the average schmuck dislikes it. The harder the game, the "worse" the game. Case in point: Altered Beast. Deep Blue. Shape Shifter. Ghost Manor. I could go on and on. I've come to the conclusion that people in general like games that stick to a preconceived "norm" and any deviation beyond that realm just plain befuddles these clowns.

If this is truly the gauge of a game's greatness, then Timeball is guilty as charged. The goal of the game is to allow a glass ball to succesfully navigate a pipeline from beginning to end. Sounds simple enough, and it is. Except.... every pipeline has been "shuffled" so that you have to put it back together in the correct sequence or your ball will fall and shatter on the ground. The puzzles start out very simple but it won't be long before you're scratching your head.

Your score is awarded based on how quickly you complete each puzzle and how many moves it took you to reach that resolution. Gameplay is simple-- shuffle pipeline tiles around the board while the ball slowly traverses the course and when you're satisfied, hit the TURBO and let the ball zip through to the end. If Pipe Dream and that Puzzle game you used to be able to find under the Apple menu on those old Macs had a child, it would play exactly like Timeball.

Aesthetically the game is extremely utilitarian, but it's pleasant enough. The top and bottom of the screen display various environmental visuals that change every handful of levels or so. The majority of the screen is taken up by the game board where the real "action" happens. From the main menu you have a choice of two different music tracks or "None." As a matter of fact, the "Labyrinth" tune is one of my favorite video game tracks, ever. It's the kind of tune that fits this kind of game perfectly, and as many times as you hear it, it never gets old.

Timeball's biggest (only?) pitfall is the monotony that will inevitably ensue after you've been playing it for extended periods. Timeball is best played occasionally, in relatively short spurts. This should be no problem since the game will save your progress and high score table as you advance. There are 100 different boards total, and believe me, it will take many hours to see them all.

If you're like me and puzzle games appeal to you, or you're the kind of person who likes to sit down with a crossword or mind puzzle book every now and then, you'd probably do OK to nab a cheap copy (and it is cheap) of Timeball and give it a spin. You sure could do a lot worse.

Ninja Spirit

~ NINJA SPIRIT ~

Irem / NEC

HuCard

1990

I've always thought of Ninja Spirit as an extremely cool game. It's like they took the few decent concepts that Legend of Kage had going for it (mainly the wild jumping) and placed them in a context where the fundamentals are actually sound. Some of the bosses are embarrassingly easy, but most of them look pretty darn cool, and the boss music is wonderfully fast and intense. In fact, the soundtrack on the whole is superb.

The high-flying leaps, ceiling walking, multiple weapons, and impressive enemies contribute to Ninja Spirit's high fun factor, which makes up for its lack of difficulty (though Arcade Mode is significantly tougher than PC Engine Mode and does offer an extra scene during the ending). As far as old-school ninja games go, I'd say NS doesn't come close to Shinobi III, but it can hold its own against any of the rest.

The tragic opening.

NEC was very proud of this big boss back in the day. He appeared in lots of ads and preview/review screens.

You can defeat some bosses with the powered-up bomb weapon before they even come close to touching you.

Moonlit Stage 3 has its fair share of challenging parts. First, musketmen try to sneak up on you while you concentrate on ghost warriors who can take you out with a single slash...

...then these staff-twirling monks make nuisances of themselves in the marshlands.

Do a little ceiling walking in Stage 4.

The Stage 6 stormlands look pretty cool and give you plenty of dangerous enemies to deal with.

The last stage's famous ninja pit (and the equally famous safe spot).

The bit of ending text that appears for only a split second so that no one ever has enough time to read it.