GAME REVIEWS

Monday, October 8, 2012

Bikini Girls


~ BIKINI GIRLS ~
Excite Software
CD-ROM
1993

It's hard to give Bikini Girls even a semblance of serious treatment, as all who purchase it are aware it's a mere slideshow of sunbathers--an utter piece of detritus--and spend good cash on it solely for the sake of adding something relatively rare to their collections. It's hardly priced as a piece of detritus should be, however, and some of us with the collecting compulsion do hope to find at least a sliver of merit in every new piece we come across. As loathsome and unambitious as it is, Bikini Girls still could've been decent at what it does, and goodness knows most of us PCE-playing males aren't averse to the idea of browsing through pics of beautiful women. Having gathered over two hundred images for the BG project, Excite Software certainly gave themselves ample opportunity to get something right. With tongue firmly set in cheek, I heartily commend them for the "variety" of girls they served up to us, as the tough, the syrupy sweet, the active, and the chillin' all make our acquaintance.




Sadly, ridiculous poses and absurd attire often diminish the allure of the few good-looking women who somehow got themselves involved in this fiasco. Even more off-putting is the fact that many of the images are of such poor quality that the ladies end up looking like blocky bikini-clad monstrosities.


And then there are the portraits that are utterly pointless, "off-topic" shots undoubtedly tossed in by a wryly smiling jester at the Excite offices.


Bikini Girls is no game, but experiences with it are never devoid of challenge: sifting through dozens of horrific images for an undistorted photo of a decent-looking lady can be a grueling process indeed.

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