The Brothers Duomazov

Macross 2036

2010-07-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

~ MACROSS 2036 ~

NCS/Masaya

Super CD-ROM

1992

This was one of the PC Engine games that I made daily supplication for back in the TG-16's "heyday." Rumors constantly abounded about 2036 making the trip overseas, but of course, it never happened. So I had to wait a number of years (ten, to be precise) before finally getting my hands on it. And when I finally did obtain it, I played it over and over again, pulling off one-life completions, conquering its various difficulty levels, and reveling in its sweet action and presentation. It continued to earn my regard to the point where I viewed it, and still view it, as my favorite shooter of all time.

I'm a Robotech/Macross fan, have been for many years, and this game's manner of presentation was like a dream come true for me. Much of the music was lifted straight from the great SDF: Macross soundtrack, providing fans of the show with quite an aural treat and contributing to the impeccable atmosphere of the adventure perhaps more than any other element. The tracks are dynamic: the abrupt change in tempo exhibited midway through Mission Five’s theme is more reminiscent of Tool than it is of Robotech‘s straightforward riffs. The soundtrack reaches its apex during Mission Two, where it starts off in explosive fashion to accompany Maria’s journey through an asteroid field littered with Zentradi attackers. Not only does it rock and get me pumped up to the extreme, but it's scored to the actual action, matching up dynamically with the events onscreen. Just as the explosive track settles into a beautiful, melodic interlude, the level holds back attackers momentarily, serving up a pretty sight of red asteroids just sort of dancing about the playfield. Superlative design and coordination here.

The situations that you'll find yourself in, from blasting Zentradi mecha on a rubble-laden planet Earth to playing a protective during a desperate outer-space offensive, are so faithful to original show concepts that they'll make you feel like you're participating in an actual episode if you're a fan (and what fan didn't wish to be a part of this universe?). Indeed, with its abundance of animated cinemas and obvious focus on plot, 2036 comes off as a segment of the show that you can take part in in rather than as a mundane sidescrolling shooter.

Knowledge of Japanese is hardly necessary to feel right at home with the game’s startlingly accurate atmosphere and imagery. No language barrier can diminish the impact of scenes depicting enormous laser cannons obliterating the enemy armada or gigantic vessels smashing into one another.

Of course, amidst all of the animated festivities, there is a game to participate in, and as a pure sidescrolling shoot ‘em up, 2036 ranks among the best. Your jet spews forth lasers while launching missiles above and below it, all of which is handled with the press of a single button. Remember to make optimal use of these devastating weapons by firing constantly and covering as much ground as possible, as you never know when or where you’ll reveal a one-up Minmay icon (cute stuff) or a force field that grants you temporary invincibility. And to deal with your speedy adversaries, your Veritech comes equipped with a radar system that alerts you when you’re in line with an oncoming enemy and lets you know from which direction said enemy will be making its attack.

In addition to your standard lasers and missiles, 2036 presents you with an impressive fourteen different auxiliary weapons to make use of. You’ll have to earn the right to carry them into battle, however. Points are awarded each time you take down a Zentradi attacker; these points are used in determining which brands of secondary weapons will be available to you following each stage.

Perform at a high level and you’ll be trusted with the more explosive devastators in battle, some of which are quite original in design. One impressive weapon takes the form of two cannons stationed right behind your ship; the cannons themselves provide protection from enemies attacking the rear of your vessel as they spew a veritable rainbow of spreading missiles at your adversaries.

Your decision as to which weapon to take into battle (you can use only one secondary gun per level) can prove to be critical. Different stages call for distinct strategies; cannons that appeared to be useless in earlier stages can become tools of destruction if utilized properly later on. Initially, you might not find much use for a satellite that hovers above your ship and fires lasers at various angles towards the bottom of the screen; but during Mission Five’s descent into the enemy’s labyrinthine factory, said satellite becomes a godsend. Your choice in weaponry will also play a vital role during Mission Four’s all-out war scene. Glance at the background and you’ll witness an incredible battle taking place between Earth’s forces and the Zentradi invaders. With enemies attacking from every which way, it’s a good idea to make use of a particular spread weapon that hurls fireballs at various angles all around your ship.

Of course, the time will come when, if you’re a skilled enough player, you’ll wish to move on to a higher difficulty level (the game offers four settings in all), at which point you’ll have to scrap your previous strategies. Accept the challenge offered by Hard mode, and all of a sudden, those spheres of fire will be too weak to take care of the hordes of enemies before you’re completely overwhelmed. A powerful needle-thin laser can get the job done -- but its severe lack of range will demand some fancy flying on your part. Crank 2036's difficulty up a notch and its aerial wars become as hellishly intense as those in any other Thunder-Force-style shooter.

The elements of speed and strategy at work here are complemented by fantastic superficials. Graphically, Mission Three is awe-inspiring, with a line-scrolling moon surface reflecting the action in its icy, crystalline blanket. Be wary of the large crystal structures that protrude from the terrain (and be sure to sneak down between these structures in search of hidden treasures!).

And the point at which most players will realize that they’re immersed in something truly special will likely come during one of the game’s dramatic boss encounters, when your Veritech finally switches to its Battloid mode, requiring that you rotate the machine and aim its endless streams of shots. With a little bit of practice, you'll be spinning and shooting as efficiently and effortlessly as Max ever had -- which will be necessary if you're to defeat the Zentradi's incredible boss behemoths (who are introduced with fanfare at the beginnings of their respective levels).

Perhaps the concern exists that all of these superlatives are being hurled about by a long-time Robotech fan with a supersubtle eye. Rest assured that with its stirring soundtrack, seamless integration of strategic elements, and intense higher difficulty modes, Macross 2036 is worth any shooter fan’s time. Those familiar with the series will get the most out of the experience, however, as even the most bitter curmudgeon will recall and inevitably be affected by the feelings that accompanied each viewing of the classic television show. For the saga's most loyal fans, the time has finally come to take flight and earn your wings.

Just as you’ve always wanted to.

Power League II

2010-07-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

~ POWER LEAGUE II ~

Hudson Soft

HuCard

1989

Only the original Power League made it to the US (under the moniker World Class Baseball), but Hudson kept the series going for a number of years in Japan. The first sequel that came down the chute was no minor upgrade; PL2 addresses nearly every complaint that players had about its already enjoyable predecessor, and ends up an excellent game of baseball in its own right, one that WCB fans should be sure to check out.

The graphics are much improved, lending the game a more realistic look, especially in the overhead field-action view; bid adieu to the squat little fellows who waddled around the diamond in the first game.

Results of a batter's previous plate appearances (during a particular game) are displayed as he steps into the box. Pitch counts are also shown, though you needn't pay much attention to them, as this is an easy arcade-style affair that encourages a free-swinging approach by all... which fans of WCB will likely appreciate.

Fielders have much better arms in this episode, so there aren't nearly as many infield hits. This may not sound all that significant, but it was an important tweak to the gameplay; the abundance of slow-rolling singles was one of the original title's goofiest faults.

The revamped post-game show takes another look at the day's home runs. The game stays an extra moment with the pitcher-batter screen during monstrous flies, presenting a dramatic view of the ball heading out of the park.

Win your league and crush the champion of the other in Pennant Mode, and you'll square off with the legendary HuBees ballclub.

The only thing that's really disappointing is that PL2 is a little blander than the original, with a dull gray stadium and no little flag-waving guys celebrating home runs.

F1 Circus '92

2010-07-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

~ F1 CIRCUS '92 ~

Nichibutsu

HuCard

1992

At first glance, F1 '92 looks pretty damn similar to the earlier episodes in the series, with more tiny cars racing at searing speeds on dull-looking courses.

And, well, that's pretty much all there is to it, but '92 is by far the toughest chapter in the Circus saga, due not only to tricky track layouts, but to opposing racers who actually handle themselves well out there and do all they can to thwart your efforts. Sometimes, one's best hope is not to drive well but to bump the opposition off course and cause a huge wreck that takes out a bunch of the bastards at once.

Blinking-arrow warnings of curves yet to come pop up early in '92, giving you a better chance of actually staying on the trail, and the usual setup screen offers an "auto" option that has the computer do all the selection work for you. (It's worth nothing that while these elements serve to further separate this entry from its HuCard predecessors, they were already present in the superior CD title, Circus Special.)

In addition to boosting the level of difficulty, Nichibutsu pushed themselves to do more with pre- and post-race screens, though the results obviously can't measure up to the goofy intermission shots in Special.

But whatever; interludes aren't what Circus fans play the games for. They play them because they love the feeling of achievement that is attained after hours and hours of practice and course memorization. Indeed, once you do arrive at that level of Circus proficiency (if you ever do), you might be surprised at how active the game keeps you on the pad and how many seemingly impossible maneuvers you're able to pull off. Still, when it comes to hammering away at boards that require practice and memorization, I'd rather have a go at Rayxanber II or Valis IV or Nexzr... you know, games that're actually enjoyable.

F1 Circus '91

2010-07-18T16:37:00.001-07:00

~ F1 CIRCUS '91 ~

Nichibutsu

HuCard

1991

Give it a few seconds and F1 '91 will seem quite poised to separate itself (superficially, at least) from its primitive predecessor. Slight improvement in the (still-objectionable) graphics and a menu of selectable tunes indicate some measure of relief from the aesthetical torture one was subjected to in the original Circus. Unfortunately, proceed through the levels and you'll repeatedly find yourself following all-too-similar-looking paths, one "slim gray road paved through greenery" after another.

"Fancier" interludes will fail to mollify players weary of the visual repetition.

But while almost all of the courses look alike, they're a little more devious in design than the tracks served up by the first Circus. You might even find yourself making use of your brakes this time around.

But if it's a challenge that you're looking for, seek out '92 or Special instead, as this Circus isn't nearly as difficult as the ones that came after it. And if you're hunting for a quality racing game, look outside of this series entirely, as '91 plays just as poorly as its madcap brethren.

F1 Circus

2010-07-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

~ F1 CIRCUS ~

Nichibutsu

HuCard

1990

How these F1 Circus games managed to do so well in Japan is quite beyond me. True, they are incredibly fast--but far too fast for their own good, as they provide a view extremely limited in scope. This first episode doesn't boast the variety in visuals that later entries offer (and bear in mind that even said later entries are dreadfully bland), leaving a driver to traverse graphical doldrums as his nigh-uncontrollable vehicle hurtles up the road.

Don't expect even intermittent aesthetical highlights. Option, celebration, and setup screens are presented in utilitarian fashion, to put it nicely.

The course designs are also very basic, as even the "toughest" segments of track are nowhere near as horribly difficult to navigate as the insane twists and turns prominent in '92 and Special. And as you're zipping along on the surprisingly straightforward speedways, you'll notice that opposing drivers typically take it easy on you, content to mind their own business or blunder off the road as you breeze on by.

Of the PCE F1C games, this is definitely the ugly one (or should I say "ugliest," as its sequels are visually grotesque in their own right), and it's definitely the "easy" one (though it's still challenging and frequently irritating). It's an unalluring but sensible place to start if, for some reason, you're interested in the series--if you can't make headway in this one, you've got no shot in the episodes that follow. I recommend saving yourself the trouble and avoiding the lot of them at all costs, but rabid Circus fans would gainsay me with claims that hours of practice ultimately prove worthwhile. It should cost you only about three bucks or so to find out for yourself.

F1 Circus Special

2010-07-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

~ F1 CIRCUS SPECIAL ~

Nichibutsu

Super CD-ROM

1992

The requisite Super CD episode in a series that somehow survived multiple horrific chip efforts, F1 Circus Special carries on Nichibutsu’s racing-game philosophy of “full speed ahead -- quality be damned.” Don’t get me wrong; I certainly don’t mean to understate the “full speed ahead” element. If anything, Circus Special is fast--so fast that the screen often ends up scrolling backwards to accommodate the blazing speed... which, of course, looks absolutely ridiculous. Navigating the speedways is an arduous affair, as you can see but small snippets of track at once, and the little arrows that pop up and flash incessantly do very little to prepare you for the tortuous twists to come. You can practice each course (and have no choice but to do so, thanks to compulsory time trials), but it might not matter much come actual race time. Your computer-controlled opponents delight in crashing into you or one another, often creating spin-outs right off the bat and relegating you to a bottom-feeder ranking for the duration of the race.

So daunting is the task facing aspiring Schumachers here that seemingly minor feats like placing among the top six during a given race elicit "Rocky at the top of the steps"-type celebrations from the bums in your pit crew. Should you manage to do the unthinkable and actually win the whole damn event, the entire world will gather and rejoice.

In fact, one of the few readily apparent ways that this CD "smash" takes advantage of the medium to separate itself from its awful chip counterparts comes in the form of many between-stage celebration/meeting screens.

To be fair, the track layouts and adorning landscape designs are more interesting here than in any other member of the PCE Circus series. This doesn't mean they're worthy incentive to actually try the game, but hey, better is better.

And indeed, thanks to the course designs and those goofy intermission stills (there are plenty of them, and I "enjoyed" seeing what kind of silly scene would pop up with each new achievement), Special is my favorite Circus episode. Keep in mind, however, that being the best of an extraordinarily bad lot doesn't merit true praise, and the "compliments" I've showered this CD "revamp" with should not be taken as indications that it's anything but a terrible racing game.

Impossamole

2010-06-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

~ IMPOSSAMOLE ~

Gremlin Graphics / NEC

HuCard

1991

I wouldn't call it the "best" part, because best parts of video games should never leave you with a splitting headache, but the most interesting part of Impossamole is its "cinematic" opening. A succession of slides details the dilemma of Monty Mole, lazy lounger turned superhero.

The images are kind of amusing, I guess, but it's the tune that accompanies them that makes the sequence so memorable. Never before had I heard a HuCard number that was so incredibly long and so remarkably strange. You'll be shocked at the bizarre, eardrum-annihilating sounds your console is capable of cranking out. And as the seemingly never-ending racket proceeds, you'll hear brief stretches of rhythmic and melodic genius. It's an up-and-down epic of a track, an utter disaster that's utterly compelling until it finally grows old and sputters out as pure noise towards the end of the image run.

The in-game audio also has its fair share of weird bloops and bleeps, but none of the other tunes really make much of an impression. In fact, once you get past the opening festivities, Impossamole is a complete dud. It's nice that it gives you large levels to explore (as you attempt to hunt down stolen scrolls). What isn't nice is that its collision detection is horribly off, and with your main kick attack so limited in range, you're sure to take one cheap hit after another. Making the whole thing even more frustrating is the fact that you must proceed very slowly and carefully: crap constantly rains down upon you, so if you rush forward recklessly (or even just move along at a regular platforming pace), you'll have your head thumped repeatedly. While the gameplay is certainly horrible, the visuals don't help: You'd expect the graphics in a title of this sort to be bright and colorful, but instead they're rather drab and austere--quite awful overall.

Appearance-wise, the stages offer a lot of variety as you advance from one to the next; but in truth, the enemies in the different worlds all basically act the same--you'll encounter old bums in new costumes over and over again. The only real "variety" on offer comes in the forms of occasional uninteresting swimming sequences...

...and end-of-world boss battles. Aside from the dragon guy, the bosses are a fairly lame lot; the last one is so laughably oversized and underequipped for battle that you can't help but pummel him before he does any significant damage to you.

If, for some reason, you wake up one day and decide you absolutely must have a cartoony TurboGrafx platformer with awful collision detection, go for Tiger Road instead, as that one somehow manages to overcome its flaws and end up enjoyable. Not only is Impossamole not at all fun to play, but it ranks with the likes of J.J. & Jeff, Bravoman, and Talespin as a despicable disgrace within the Turbo platformer subset.

Tengai Makyou: Ziria

2010-06-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

RED/Hudson Soft - 1989/1992 - Japan
CD-ROM/Super CD-ROM

This game is old, old, old. That’ll probably be your first though upon playing Ziria.

When I told my brother and RPG veteran IvaNEC that I was going to get into the Tengai Makyou series he recommended I start with Kabuki Den and work my way backwards through the episodes. Being the stubborn fool that I am, I ignored his recommendation and started off with Ziria, intending to play through the series in the “proper” order.

Despite its “slow” start, I managed to have fun with Ziria right from the beginning. It wasn’t until late in the journey that mixed feelings began to tread on my fun. First, though, the good stuff.

Battle backgrounds and cinematic “moments” are great hand-painted fare (ala Beyond Shadowgate). The manual for the game has a piece at the end (in Japanese) that shows the process the artists used to digitize these paintings, which I found really cool. It seems like a totally different team must have been responsible for enemy design and background art vs. the “overhead” graphics. Enemy design is also great, with all sorts of cool looking and detailed creatures to fend off during your quest. Music is pretty good too, excellent in some places. Also, during the first two thirds of the adventure your party is accompanied by a friendly frog who will randomly assist during battles. You’ll free all sorts of animal spirits that give you helpful items and spells as you venture towards your final goal.

Now for the not-so-good stuff.... Well, the overhead landscape visuals are awful. Poor color choices combined with grainy graphics makes for an extremely “blah” visual experience as you traverse the lands. What’s worse, however, is that the landscape doesn’t change at all from the beginning right through the end of the game save for a dungeon here and a pyramid there, which in truth are few and far between. The last town in the game looks exactly the same (size aside) as the first town in the game, and everything in between. More variety in this area would’ve gone a long way. The user interface is also extremely antiquated, however this didn’t bother me much. I’m pretty easy going when it comes to this sort of thing as long as the controls aren’t atrocious, and they aren’t.

By the time I reached the final quarter of the journey, my interest was waning. It got to a point during the final dungeon where I just wanted to get the whole thing over with so I could move on to something else. As it turns out, IvaNEC was right on in his recommendation I not make Ziria my introduction to the series. Ziria is a dated game that shows its age, despite some strengths. Its worth a look for the hardcore RPG crowd, but don’t make it your first Japanese RPG.

Valis Visual Collection

2010-06-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

~ VALIS VISUAL COLLECTION ~

Laser Soft / Telenet

CD-ROM

1993

This is basically just a collection of cinemas from the second, third, and fourth PC Engine Valis episodes, but it makes for a pretty nice collectible, as it's fairly hard to find and it features a hot-looking Rena on its cover. People make a big stink about the absence of scenes from the PCE rendition of the first Valis, but at least we get "more" here than we do with the Cosmic Fantasy Visual Collection, which offers only the CF and CF2 cinematics.

The few who are thinking about bothering with this non-game are probably Valis fans who've already slashed their way through all four adventures, and those folks won't find much new material here. The most interesting part of "playing" it for those who have experienced only the English versions of II and III might be watching the cinemas from those chapters with Japanese voice work. It's nice to be able to view the interludes sans goofy English voices, but ironically enough, the Japanese actors seem to have "underacted" a bit.

One neat thing about the collection is that it allows you a look at how PCE CD intermission artistry evolved--while sticking with a core group of characters throughout the string of images. Watch as the series progresses from blocky character portraits displayed in tiny windows to polished, full-screen glory.

This is a legitimately rare disc, but demand for it is very low; so once you do find it, you probably won't have to pay an outlandish price to acquire it. ($50-60 was once the going rate, but $30 seems common enough these days.) It really has no practical purpose, but Valis fans will reap enjoyment enough just from welcoming it into their collections.

Valis IV

2010-06-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

~ VALIS IV ~

Laser Soft / Telenet

CD-ROM

1991

Valis IV is the final PC Engine entry in a series that prides itself on tough Castlevania-style action and cute-girl cinematics. It doesn't feature the same sort of ingenious level design that is on display in III's finest stages, nor does it star characters as cool as III's, and its music is disappointing. However, it definitely sports the greatest graphics of the PCE Valis bunch, and it's long and consistently challenging, whereas its brethren are either short and easy (the first and second episodes) or wildly erratic (III). It should be no surprise to Valis veterans that the controls aren't quite perfect, but with practice and careful observation, you can indeed devise plans to complete each stage in perfect fashion, making the whole experience very rewarding--if frustrating at times. It and its immediate predecessor are kind of like the action-platformer equivalents of R-Type in this respect.

The stages look good and feature cool, tough enemies; and they challenge you consistently rather than alternating between easy and incredibly difficult segments like III does... for the most part, that is...

Some of IV's higher-level challenges, like the fourth-stage cathedral ascent, can be tedious and irritating, without feeling as rewarding or as cleverly constructed as III's most difficult board layouts. The level-draining fetuses towards the end make real nuisances of themselves.

Rough it all out and you'll be treated to lots of nice cinemas.

There are lots of bosses, too. These fights can be long and brutal. Prepare to deal with some unexpected opponents before all is said and done.

It's always sad to say farewell to a good series, but Valis goes out with its head held high.

Valis III

2010-06-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

~ VALIS III ~

Laser Soft / Telenet / NEC

CD-ROM

1992

Valis III is a legitimately great action-platformer in the vein of 8-bit Castlevania. It features the best set of playable characters in the series, heroines superior to the stars of IV due to both their usefulness and their intangible "cool" factor. It also boasts great music; good graphics; controls that are a huge step up from II's and give the game a familiar old-school-Castlevania feel; and sophisticated, ingenious level design. While Valis II prides itself on its soundtrack and story, and IV impresses players with its visuals and high level of challenge, III finds a way to succeed in just about every area, making it the strongest chapter in the series.

It's clear right from the get-go that this is a high-quality hack-and-slash title with appealing visuals.

Some of the later boards, especially the water stage (which requires that you freeze enemies and make difficult jumps in order to proceed) and the ice cavern (with its tricky platforming), are extremely challenging; you'll feel great when you finally beat them. They're tough-but-rewarding levels that you'll always remember.

Between those dreaded lands are "breathers" in the forms of graveyard and wasteland jaunts. The desert-stage tune is very catchy and evokes fond memories of Valis II's legendary soundtrack.

Yep, the red book is good, and so are the cinemas. No more of that "tiny windows" bullshit here... at least, not much of it.

There are plenty of interesting boss battles though; you'll go from serpent slaying to bell battering.

Climb the final tower and take on the skilled combatant that awaits you...

...and then witness Yuko's heroic fate.

Mugen Senshi Valis

2010-06-04T04:24:00.000-07:00

~ VALIS ~

RIOT / Telenet

Super CD-ROM

1992

A short and easy opening episode, Valis is basically just okay in every respect and is the most forgettable of the series's PCE entries. It is most comparable to Valis II in that it places much more emphasis on action than on platforming, and its level design isn't as advanced as III's or IV's. Its soundtrack doesn't even come close to II's, but its gameplay is a little more enjoyable because it isn't as sloppy. Yuko "runs" quite slowly, but this becomes less of a pain as you get used to it.

I dig the visual style in this game; everything seems kind of "small," but the animation is smooth and the color choices, appealing.

I've seen people rip on the cinemas, but aside from Yuko's face looking a little weird here and there and the whole "small windows" issue, they're actually pretty nice and feature some fairly dramatic moments.

The boss designs are interesting, and while the beasts here generally aren't as large as the lumbering heavyweights in II, they're definitely better fighters.

In fact, the last guy can be a bit of a challenge at first and is certainly a hardier warrior than the chump at the end of II (thank goodness).

Valis II

2010-06-03T04:48:00.000-07:00

~ VALIS II ~

Laser Soft / Telenet / NEC

CD-ROM

1990

This is the first Valis game I'd ever owned, and what I remember most about getting it is that, well, I didn't really want to get it. It became a part of my collection simply because it was the only Turbo CD title that my local game shop happened to have in stock that day. Predictably, I did not care much for it. I did love its music, and over the years, I've come to appreciate its story as well, but I must warn all prospective buyers that, while this isn't necessarily reflective of the game's worth to me, it is the worst of the PC Engine Valis episodes, a hack-and-slasher that rates as acceptable--but just barely.

The level design in II is a lot more straightforward than in the subsequent chapters. There isn't nearly as much platforming or tricky obstacles to deal with here; this one is mostly about action. The little challenge that it offers basically comes from enemies who take a lot of hits or attack from advantageous positions. Success usually comes down to knowing when to fight and when to flee, and it usually isn't difficult to make those critical decisions. The game is short, easy, and very generous: it makes sure not to penalize you much with its checkpoints and doesn't make you begin a whole new battle when you lose a life to a boss--both of which are fine with me.

Valis II is a disappointment when it comes to gameplay, graphics, and challenge, but the soundtrack is the draw here. Fast-paced tunes and sinister dirges keep the player motivated and alert when the action itself gets a little bland... which happens quite often.

II's in-game visuals are crude and its cinemas are typically of the miniature-window variety.

The plot, however, has some surprising depth to it and concludes in brilliant fashion. Unfortunately, if you're not familiar with the story of the preceding episode, you'll be baffled by the events here. I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first played the game as a kid, and it really pissed me off.

The only way you'll get yourself into difficult situations like this is by charging ahead recklessly. Proceed patiently and you'll be able to obliterate your foes with little hardship. This sort of stop-and-start approach really takes away from any feelings of intensity that the game begins to generate, but it's necessary in light of the clunky controls and Yuko's inflexibility.

Zone 3 is my favorite due to its nice colors, strange enemies, and incredibly sweet music.

The fourth zone with its blob-and-dragon army and the fifth with its deadly obstacle courses seemed quite difficult to me when I was younger. Now I realize I was just an awful player back then.

Don't worry; this is no Gogan vs the Punjabbis sort of spectacle. The bosses are large and look pretty cool but put up little resistance.

The platform ride in the final zone can be challenging, but you can make life very easy on yourself by holding on to the powered-up wave weapon. The multi-form Megas at the end is a pushover, easier to defeat than the third-stage boss in Valis IV.

Last Alert

2010-06-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

~ LAST ALERT ~

Laser Soft / Telenet / NEC

CD-ROM

1990

I've been praising Last Alert for years, and every now and then I decide to take my own advice and revisit it. I inevitably roar right through it, as I can't stop playing once I've started, and I'm always left wanting much more despite the impressive number of stages. It's an elite "run-and-gun-and-explore," proving time and time again to be worthy of the lavish praise I afford it.

It's just one positive after another with this game...

The cinemas are extremely well done (who could ever forget burning Kazama?), especially compared to those in most other early Turbo CD games. Plus, the music rocks, particularly the boss track with the alarm sound mixed in.

The gameplay is much deeper and more exciting than what can be found in similar games like Final Zone 2 and Bloody Wolf. There are lots of different missions with plenty of variety in mission objectives...

...and a large cast of bosses.

The stages look nice and are, at times, expansive.

The weaponry is fun to wield and works well with a cool XP system, and the hero is a true badass who goes from exploring jungles in a Rambo outfit to wrecking ocean liners in a tux.

Last Alert's only possible weakness (I don't give a damn about the voice acting) is that it's pretty darn easy. But I can easily forgive it for that since it's so enjoyable, and rather than an increase in difficulty, I'd prefer a few dozen more stages--perhaps then I'd get my fill. Alternatively, a sequel would have been nice!

Gotzendiener

2010-05-28T15:52:00.000-07:00

~ GOTZENDIENER ~

GAINAX / NEC Home Electronics

Super CD-ROM

1994

I was expecting Gotzendiener to deliver an isometric blend of Brandish and Prince of Persia; and those were probably unfair expectations, considering most players don't like it much at all. High expectations aside, the gameplay is slow and horrible and gives the player hardly anything to do--hardly any fighting, and hardly any puzzle solving. You just stumble around ugly maze-like environments, and before you know it, the whole thing is over. The music and sounds are horrendous, so the game falters even where many other mediocre Turbo CDs shine (though I will say that the few cinemas do look somewhat nice). Whether Gotzendiener was released unfinished or simply unpolished, it comes off as an incomplete effort, an empty, glitch-plagued husk of a puzzle-based adventure.

It starts off in a pretty cool and unusual way. A good guy and a bad guy fight it out for a girl; the two idiots end up killing each other, leaving the princess to find her way on her own.

It does have its moments of intrigue, as well as a few areas that actually don't let us down graphically. Most of the decent material is presented early in the quest, though...

Later levels have you wandering around dull, empty, ugly environments.

Half the time you come across something interesting, it ends up serving no purpose whatsoever. Makes you wonder if the developers intended to do more with these "red herrings" but weren't granted enough time to complete and polish their project.

Combat unfolds as slowly and choppily as you might expect, and it isn't difficult at all to defeat the lumbering monsters.

Even the final foes fall easily, making little impact during their brief onscreen appearances. They're fitting representatives of the game on the whole, when you think about it.

Galaxy Fraulein Yuna 2

2010-05-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

~ GALAXY FRAULEIN YUNA 2 ~

Red / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1995

Yuna 2 starts off as if it's going to be better than its excellent predecessor, with a lengthy and very well done opening cinema. Actually, it's pretty good graphically throughout, but in most ways, the game tumbles after the fast start. The soundtrack fails to follow the lead of the quality artwork, as it counts but one nice tune amid many unmemorable jingles. More importantly, the story is not nearly as entertaining as part 1's, and it allows you far fewer choices to make, so the experience seems very low on interactivity. Simply put, while it looks nice, Yuna 2 is a very boring game.

It's anything but boring when it begins, however. The opening presents an awesome space clash that makes Force of Arms seem like a pistol fight, and during the first few moments of actual play, Yuna is called out by the Clubber Lang of the idol world.

Then, Yuna stumbles upon a new best friend, and the game goes straight to hell from there...

...as it focuses on the two of them hanging around doing stupid things and occasionally playing poor mini-games.

The fights are nowhere near as cool as the ones in the first game. The battle system is kinda interesting but ultimately annoying as it often comes down to luck and can be very time consuming.

The story steps things up a bit towards the end and features a pretty cool giant mecha showdown, but the grand finale won't make anyone forget the long stretches of boredom endured prior to that point.

Had they made the middle section of the adventure a little more exciting and the battles a little less time consuming, Red might've had another excellent comic on their hands. It certainly is sad the way things turned out.

Galaxy Fraulein Yuna HuVideo

2010-05-26T05:25:00.001-07:00

~ GALAXY FRAULEIN YUNA HUVIDEO ~

Red / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1995

Those looking to acquire Galaxy Fraulein Yuna (and that should be everyone who does not currently own it) have a choice to make. They can go for the nice, cheap, plain-Jane regular edition, or they can pick up the rerelease, which comes packaged with a HuVideo bonus disc. Those looking to find out what HuVideo actually is won't be given any technical explanations here, as I don't know anything about that stuff, but I'll try to spell things out in layman's terms: take your typical Turbo CD cinema, make the animation incredibly smooth (far, far beyond what you've seen in any other title this side of 3x3 Eyes), make the video all grainy, and shove the result into a relatively small window. HuVideo!

This particular HuVideo episode is about sixty seconds long and shows an outer space blade fight and an assault on a giant ship.

Yeah, you've pretty much got the gist of it right there. But remember, the "plot" isn't the point here; this is essentially a show-off disc, and you're supposed to sit there and be amazed at what the PCE was actually capable of. And really, as a means to that end, the little animated "film" gets the job done. Of course, you can also witness HuVideo during Gulliver Boy's intermissions (and Gulliver Boy is great and worth playing anyway).

But a minute of video isn't all that the Yuna bonus disc has to offer. You do get a little extra artwork in the form of still sketches.

Considering that there aren't a hell of a lot of other places to catch a little HuVideo, and that the rerelease costs only a few bucks more than the original nowadays, you'd might as well pick up this edition if you're going to purchase the game at all. (And, again, GFY is not a game to be missed.)

Galaxy Fraulein Yuna

2010-05-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

~ GALAXY FRAULEIN YUNA ~

Red / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1992

Cobra II is my favorite PCE comic, but I'd long considered Ranma 1/2 2 the best, "objectively speaking." Then Galaxy Fraulein Yuna came storming along from out of nowhere and laid claim to that position. There's so much in it to rave about...

...and we must start with the cute and very likable heroine. Yuna's a goofball, for sure, but never let it be said that she lacks heart. She amuses with her antics and impresses with her fortitude.

The silly but lovable idol stars in an entertaining story that features lots of funny moments and moves along at a very fast pace. There's plenty of voice acting, but the characters keep their lines brief--no long dull conversations here.

GFY's graphics are great, especially during the high-quality intermissions. The music is also very good, with multiple vocal tracks along with work by T's.

Anime combatants don their power armor and square off with laser swords and missiles and the like during the game's turn-based battle scenes.

Yuna seems harmless, but she's quite capable of thrashing people.

The game is so good that another Turbo hero decided to get in on the fun. I thought I was going nuts when I heard Bomberman music start playing, but then a crew of little bombers came dashing out to judge a swimsuit competition.

GFY's a must if you're into digital comics, and cheap enough to take a chance on (not to mention easy enough to get through) if you have little or no experience with the genre.

Metal Stoker

2010-05-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

~ METAL STOKER ~

Face

HuCard

1991

Metal Stoker often reminds people of Granada, a Genesis game that follows a neat little tank as it blasts its way across the African continent. A heck of a lot of creativity went into Granada's stage, boss, and weapon designs; fun-loving Face was a creative group in its own right but lacked the sorts of brilliant madmen who made up Wolfteam's ranks, so don't expect to find as many "cool ideas" on display in MS as you would in its prodigal counterpart. Thankfully, you also won't find MS's environments to be as ugly, its bosses to be as wimpy, or its action to be as tame as Granada's. Droves of fast enemies letting loose plenty of bullets make Stoker a difficult game to beat, though with an arsenal of five weapons (including lasers, mines, and energy bursts), your vehicle is certainly equipped for the task. And figuring out exactly when to utilize certain weapons is a significant part of the fun, though having to pause the action in order to make a change means most players will ride the multi-directional vulcan or the convenient homing missiles as long and as far as they can.

Unfortunately, the stop-and-start stuff is just the beginning of the problems that arise due to MS's awkward control scheme. Rather than allowing players to go the usual "hold a button to strafe" route, it instead demands a tap to lock your cannon in place--meaning two more taps are necessary if you're to switch to a new locked-line of fire. That's two taps too many with all the crap that's flying at you in the later boards, and repositioning your tank-craft-thing to engage new threats is no picnic either. (I don't know if you've ever piloted any tank-craft-things, but while they are indeed speedy little contraptions, they're not very agile at all.) High-speed, projectile-heavy action sounds wonderful on paper, but cumbersome controls are always bad news, and when you're charged with overcoming the latter while dealing with the former, irritation inevitably sets in.

The stages are very large in addition to being tight and tough; there won't be many quick jaunts to safety here. Long levels simply means the odds are greater that you'll find yourself annoyed with the inadequate controls at some point or another. The board designs can be annoying as well, particularly the enormous-but-bland tile-warp labyrinths and a stretch of energy barriers that show themselves only when you're about to helplessly blunder into them (and force you to blunder about a great deal more just to figure out where there's a barrier-free trail to follow).

At least you're met by lots and lots of bosses as you do all that blundering. Most of the early ones are lame circular things, but you'll eventually come across some very cool designs. Sadly, like the stages themselves, the boss fights are drawn-out affairs; count on instances where you're sitting there wondering just when the hell a battered bum is going to succumb to the beating you're giving him.

There are times in Metal Stoker when a tune reaches its catchy climax, or you figure out the perfect weapon to use during a particularly challenging stretch, or you solve a tough boss's attack pattern, and the whole experience feels pretty darn good. And then there are times when you're muddling along through a long, boring level, annoyed with the needs-another-button control setup and the grating sound effects, and the game just doesn't come off as a high-quality product. Really, it leans more towards the good side of things when all is said and done. But due to the adventure being so drawn out, replaying the damn thing is seldom a pleasant notion. Consider whether or not you want to spend your fifteen bucks on an up-and-down one-and-done effort.

Genocide

2010-05-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

~ GENOCIDE ~

Zoom / Brain Grey

Super CD-ROM

1992

I remember when EGM printed a little blurb about this game in one of their features on Japanese titles that were slated for (or had a shot at) stateside release. Usually, the bits they printed were broad, generic overviews with a positive slant, but they actually bothered to rip on Genocide. I still wanted it, though, because it looked damn cool in screenshots. Obviously, it never made it over here, and I'd read nothing but negative reviews for it over the years, but I was still excited when I finally acquired it. I had hopes that it would join the ranks of Legion and Energy and other such titles that possess virtues in my eyes even though the masses deplore them.

The point of all that backstory is that if anyone in the world were gonna defend Genocide, it'd probably be me. I had that special mix of horrible taste and actual anticipation for the CD. And at certain points in the game, I was thinking that I would indeed take a stand for it. The basic premise is quite promising: control a giant robot, laser sword in hand, and slash up other enormous creatures and machines. You'll face everything from a multi-screen-spanning ship to a hulking, haymaker-throwing mecha to an acrobatic little martial arts dude.

The animation isn't superlative but the sprites look cool, and I have no major complaints to make about the backgrounds or music. The gameplay is simplistic, reminiscent of Kaze Kiri's in that you proceed across flat strips, attempting to cause enough damage to gain entry through the gate barring the way to the next area.

The coolest aspect of the action is the "charge orb" that you get: you can use it for defensive purposes, or charge it up and hurl it at your foes (kind of like the energy spheres in Shubibinman 3, but this orb is larger and faster and grants you less control over its path of flight). This allows you to implement a little strategy at times: for instance, one boss battle pits you against a beast taking refuge behind a destructible (and regenerative) gate while crap falls on you from above. You can use the orb to protect yourself from the plummeting debris while wailing on the gate, opening the way to the boss. Then you have to time your assault so that the creature's weakpoint is exposed when you take your hacks, and you must make sure that you dash back out and reposition your orb before the gate reforms.

That's a pretty cool fight. Unfortunately, the designers blundered: there's a spot that allows you to hack right through the gate and hit the boss while suffering no damage from the falling junk if your orb is resting above you.

And that mistake pretty much sums up the Genocide experience: nice ideas, very shitty execution. The game plays incredibly quickly and your enemies in spots are extremely fast, ganging up on your clunky mecha and annihilating it within seconds. You have to devise "plans" to deal with these cheap stretches, and even when you know what you have to do, you'll likely suffer many deaths or take massive damage before you finally make it through successfully.

I don't know what the hell was wrong with Brain Grey, but they displayed a tendency to release games that featured good concepts but were totally fucked up during the design process. Last Armageddon was another tragedy. But at least with LA, I felt supreme senses of relief and joy and even accomplishment upon beating it, knowing the experience would make for nice Duomazov write-ups and stories to tell the grandkids. With Genocide, after expending an untold number of continues and "enjoying" a totally unsatisfying conclusion, I was left with sore hands and a desire just to move on to something else as quickly as possible.

Private eye dol

2010-05-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

~ PRIVATE EYE DOL ~

NEC Home Electronics

Super CD-ROM / Arcade CD-ROM

1995

This is a very cool and very interesting game, a colorful combination of RPG and digital comic elements. It plays from an RPG-esque overhead perspective, with voice acting and well-drawn anime-style cut-ins accompanying your every action (and you can turn all of that stuff off if you'd prefer a faster-paced experience).

You're an idol who, along with her crew, gets caught up in these bizarre happenings and decides to play detective and figure out what's what. Your cases take place in locales as disparate as a "haunted" mansion and a cruise ship, and you meet lots of interesting oddball characters along the way, including a scythe-wielding lunatic and a seven-year-old munchkin.

Based on that premise, along with the game's art and screenshots, you'd surely expect it to be a funny, goofy, lighthearted affair, and it does offer plenty of humor and silliness. But it has quite a few shocking and/or bloody moments as well. eye dol isn't afraid to show gory murders or send a chill up your spine, which is one reason why it's so cool. One moment you're laughing, and the next you're in total shock.

There are also some brief mini-games to take part in, including an enjoyable puzzle-game-like sequence where you use little rafts and lily pads to cross underground streams.

For the most part, you can make progress simply by walking around, talking to people, and examining things, so the language barrier doesn't present much of a problem. Late in the game, you might experience some hard times if you don't know any Japanese. Creativity will be required in order to trigger certain events and solve some conundrums. Plant yourself on the end stool and keep quiet for a moment or the gruff fellow behind the counter won't even think about serving you. Flip the jigsaw puzzle tiles over and put them together that way--just to get a cryptic clue as to how to solve the next riddle. And, of course, there are a couple "enter the "code/codeword" roadblocks; the solutions actually aren't too difficult to pick up on if you pay really close attention to the hints the game offers you, but if you happen to get stuck, here you go:

You'll most likely have a great time as you solve eye dol's unusual mind stumpers, but you might also end up feeling you deserve more for your achievements than what the post-chapter cinematics deliver. The cinemas are not terrible at all, but it's a shame that such well-designed characters aren't always drawn very well, and that such appealing animation takes place within the confines of relatively small windows (a necessary tradeoff, perhaps). And we're talking denouements and prologues devoid of much action, the uneventful likes of discourse amongst cute girls in bathing suits. (Note that I have no grievances regarding the cute girls in bathing suits element.) Considering how much quality art and how many thrills are delivered during play, I have no problem forgiving eye dol for taking it a little too easy during intermissions.

I absolutely must mention that if you examine a particular bookcase late in the game, you can find a copy of The Brothers Karamazov. Private eye dol is great anyway, but the fact that it found a way to incorporate Dostoevsky's masterpiece (and this very site's namesake) into its proceedings makes it worthy of all the admiration in the world.

Military Madness

2010-05-13T02:55:00.000-07:00

~ MILITARY MADNESS ~

Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1989

I make no bones about it: I don't like strategy games. Of all the prominent old-school game genres, strategy is probably the one I like the least. But I actually think Military Madness is pretty cool.

It won points right off the bat with its approach: the sci-fi angle appeals to me, and I prefer armies comprised of tanks and jets for military maneuvers to the pods of fantasy-themed bums and beasts in something like Langrisser. And sure, you still need to perform the usual old-school-strategy actions of occupying advantageous terrain and seeking out good matchups for your units. But there are so many potential conflict combinations, and yet, even with all the different types of troops and machines at your command, the game never becomes overwhelming. You get right into a groove, easily picking up on the strengths and weaknesses of each of your unit types, and roll from there. Plus, you typically don't have to spend much time fiddling around at the beginning of each map "setting things up"; rarely do you have to wait long before sinking your teeth right into combat.

Most of the tunes also appeal to me: they're nothing special technically; they simply sound cool.

In spite of all this, for years, my innate hatred for strategy games would eventually show itself even when I'd sit down with a quality effort like MM. Maps that are larger and more time consuming led to waning interest. I'd feel like I was doing the same thing as before, only it was taking longer. While those who were more into the game's nuances would determinedly present arguments against such claims, I just figured I wasn't wired for these sorts of things.

Over time, I gained a much greater appreciation for MM's vast lunar theaters. It's during these epic engagements that the most memorable military exploits take place. There were times when I'd thought my battered army was done for, and a ragtag tank crew would seize the day and carry me to victory. And then there were instances when I'd thought my victory was assured, only for the computer to pull off a brilliant move and send my stunned soldiers reeling. Some battles of attrition conclude after dozens of strikes and counterblows, with but a few weary units scouring a desolate battlefield...

...while other campaigns come down to one last corner-of-the-map showdown.

However matters are decided, PAPPASIZATION is inevitable.

(Here I must mention that Lee Pappas, legendary game journalist and Turbo mega-warrior, cites MM as his favorite TG-16 title of all time. So famous are the stratagems Lee devised during his numerous runs through the game that whenever annihilation of one side occurs, the loser is said to have been PAPPASIZED.)

A graphical representation of PAPPASIZATION.

As for me, I look upon my experiences with the chip quite positively, which might say a lot considering my feelings about the genre it's a member of.

Marchen Maze

2010-05-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

~ MARCHEN MAZE ~

Namco

HuCard

1990

Marchen Maze likes to take people for suckers. It's a cute sort of thing, pitting Wonderland Alice against goofy little enemies atop bright game boards. Colorful backgrounds and sweet tunes help make MM quite the charmer. Its play system is pretty interesting too: Alice needn't worry about life meters and the like, as her foes attempt to knock her off just by literally knocking her off the platform. She utilizes her special charge-up baubles to blast them from the brink in turn.

As "cute" and "interesting" as this all seems, there just isn't anything exciting about a bunch of waddle-waddle sprites shoving each other around via marble shots. Well-timed leaps are often the best means of averting death anyway, as chaotic shootouts typically conclude with Alice taking a fall. The boards aren't very "maze-like," and most of the power-ups you can find while exploring aren't all that cool anyway. Lazily thought-up level themes don't help matters: you've got the slippery ice stage, the conveyor belt stage, the stage with a little more platform jumping than the others, the stage with "danger spots" to be avoided at all costs, and a couple stages where you don't do much of anything except plod around.

Jumping from raft to raft in Area 6 could've been fun, but it's over so quickly and abruptly that it amounts to nothing more than a glimpse of wasted promise.

Things do improve, but not until the last two boards. Powerful doppelgangers pursue Alice through a legitimately large Stage 8 that features a harrowing platform ride to the finish, and then comes the brilliant lava land of Level 9 with its incredible music. If only early-level foes were as aggressive as the beasts are here!

Bosses basically follow the best-is-at-the-end flow established by the stages themselves. Most of them are decent design-wise but succumb to just a few full-power shots and lack the aggressiveness to make death falls occur frequently. The very last fight is action-packed, however.

I really do like those last two levels. But I expected more from Marchen Maze, a game with a pretty good reputation that, while not expensive, isn't exactly a typical toss-in either. Then again, maybe I'm the fool, blind to the appeal of two-thirds of the game's allegedly wonderful stages.

Cobra

2010-05-06T06:32:00.001-07:00

~ COBRA ~

Hudson Soft

CD-ROM

1989

Even if you play its wackier sequel first (as I did), Cobra can still be counted on to provide a wild, entertaining ride. Space pirate Cobra, he of the PSYCHO GUN left arm, gets himself into all sorts of ridiculous dilemmas, which often involve strange alien beasts or fearsome female nutjobs.

The game's cast is made up of an incredibly vast variety of misfits and wackos, ranging from funny little robots to insane fire femmes.

As you might imagine, this is all very amusing in a ludicrous sort of way, but there's always a dark side to Cobra tales, and this opening episode is bleaker and grittier than its follow-up. Its graphics don't quite measure up to C2's, and I suppose that some of the alluded-to "grit" can be attributed to visual inferiority, but there's more to it than that. Cobra II had plenty of shocking and horrifying scenes, but moments of triumph and tragedy were arrived at quickly, with plenty of hilarious bits spread throughout the drama. Dread tends to linger in this chapter, particularly towards its conclusion, when Cobra is forced to endure a brutal assault on his psyche.

I'm sure most stout Duomazov readers are up to the task of traversing the gloom, but I fear that the threat of a language barrier will repel some otherwise willing warriors. Well, this isn't a very difficult comic to get through, save for one part where you have to enter a code... but hey, I'll provide you with the solution right here!

See, no worries now, so don't feel you need to avoid this very good game if you can't read Japanese. On the other hand, if you're generally averse to digital comics, you might want to stay away; as cool as Cobra is, it isn't a must-have--which its sequel most certainly is. Again, Cobra II is superior visually, but it also feels more advanced and, perhaps most importantly, contains so many more incredible, memorable moments. Plain and simple, a lot more happens in the faster-paced C2. But if you're up for a good comic, or if you play part 2 and yearn for additional Cobra hijinks, don't hesitate to pick this title up.

Cobra II

2010-05-04T13:29:00.000-07:00

~ COBRA II ~

Hudson Soft

CD-ROM

1991

I hadn't yet played the first Cobra when I decided to give its sequel a try, but that didn't matter because C2's very cheesy, very entertaining, overly dramatic introductory text (presented in English) brought me right up to speed. Cobra is a goofy (but BADASS) space pirate who can remove his left arm to reveal his mighty secret weapon, the PSYCHO GUN.

And off he goes through the universe, meeting up with bizarre aliens and scantily clad women.

You really never know what's coming next in Cobra II, character- or plot-wise, and that's probably the most appealing thing about it. You'll be exploring a desolate world that seems to be all in ruins, and then suddenly you'll run into a rock band jamming out, with an armored knight on electric guitar.

You'll do battle with "Round Wolves," "Death Balls," android executioners, and a big bald blue dude in a wrestling ring.

There's a decent amount of violence and some shocking and bloody moments (characters taking laser blasts to the face and whatnot)...

...but there isn't too much sex stuff, despite the scantily clothed females. In fact, the one bit of romance is rather innocent and plays out quite nicely!

You'll have a slightly easier time getting through the game if you can read a little Japanese, as many of the clues telling you where to go or whom to talk to next are presented in katakana. You'll have to spend some time treading back and forth between locations or just playing with the menu commands (the typical digital comic routines), but there are enough cool surprises to keep you moving through the dull stuff. One part near the very end, a puzzle where you have to press six lenses of various colors in the proper sequence, can be very problematic. You could spend a lot of time buttoning through all the permutations...

...or, if that idea doesn't appeal to you for some reason, just immediately enter the correct order of red, green, blue, yellow, white, purple.

While Cobra II isn't that much more interactive than your typical comic, it does boast some distinct parts. For instance, when one particularly tough baddie is chasing after you, you'll have to blast open the door to a morgue, dash upstairs, hide in an empty coffin, and then judge the sound of the villain's footsteps (they get louder and softer) to know exactly when it'll be all right for you to pop out, take him by surprise, and annihilate him.

It's possible to screw up and die in some parts, but you can save whenever you want, and if you get killed, the game just sends you back a short way (ensuring that you don't end up saving yourself into a bad position).

Upbeat tunes really get me into certain action-packed scenes, but there are a few annoying sound effects (alerts, radar blips, etc.). The graphics are pretty good on the whole, with some very cool moments here and there. The characters look extremely goofy at times, but that just kinda adds to the awesome overall cheesiness.

Cobra II is a heck of a lot of fun--so much fun, in fact, that it ranks as my favorite digital comic.