Bonk 3 CD

~ BONK III CD ~

Hudson Soft / Red / TTI

Super CD-ROM

1993

I wasn't particularly interested in Bonk III when it was originally released. I'd passed on Revenge because of the issues I have with its controls, and reports indicated that the third chapter had failed to bring back Adventure's smooth spin attacks. Also, from afar, B3 seemed to explore very little ground that hadn't already been covered by the debut episode and the first sequel. My tune eventually changed when I read that the CD rendition contains "Vs." mini-games involving wrestling and volleyball, side-stage activities the likes of which I never would've expected a Bonk title to offer. I was intrigued--and certain that I would eventually nab the disc without giving its card counterpart even a passing thought.

Well, I scratched that plan when it became clear that the TurboChip version would be the cheaper, easier buy. And upon tracking the chip down and giving it a play, I determined that the main game itself just wasn't for me. I had no love at all for its vast but largely empty and unrewarding levels, its gimmicky big and small Bonk forms, its goofy bosses, its not-much-fun bonus rounds, and its lounge-style pacing.

Of course, acquiring and playing the CD rendition meant I would have to deal with that crap all over again.

But hey, at least I finally got to try those mini-games I'd been interested in for years. This was a big deal for me, you understand. So, let's go to the mini-reviews and see how things turned out...

MINI-REVIEWS

This is wrestling, in case you couldn't tell. "Wrestling" in Bonk's time apparently meant "head-butting each other until someone falls off a cliff." I wasn't expecting WCW/NWO Revenge here, but this just isn't much fun.

And this, of course, is volleyball. The slow back-and-forth action is Pong-esque in its monotony and (lack of) intensity. Points tend to go on for ages. I wasn't expecting Kings of the Beach here, but this is even less enjoyable than the wrestling stuff.

CONCLUSION

Not the saving graces I was hoping for.

BUT... Bonk III CD ultimately redeemed itself (in my eyes, at least) with its red book soundtrack. The HuCard's tunes (which everyone else seems to prefer) are so dull that they typically leave me drowsy as I struggle to stay with the already slow-paced proceedings. The CD's tracks, on the other hand, are very lively and assertive--raw and dirty and rockin' at times. They actually get me a little more interested in exploring my surroundings and make the action seem a bit more exciting, whereas the old card numbers cause me to race to each goal post simply to avoid the embarrassing fate of dozing off mid-level. That being said, these are not great compositions, and they certainly wouldn't have been worthy of spots on earlier Bonk soundtracks. But at least they constitute an asset in their remixed forms rather than a detriment.

While neither version of Bonk III is particularly wonderful, I do get quite a bit more enjoyment out of the CD. Unfortunately, as alluded to earlier, the CD happens to be the much more expensive rendition (and the card is no bargain-binner to begin with, so we're talking lots of cash here). And I must reiterate the oh-so-minor caveat that I really do seem to be the only human being who prefers the red book tunes.

Bonk 3 CD: Bonk's Big Adventure

RED/Hudson Soft - 1993 - U.S.A.

Super CD-ROM

Bonk 3 CD is a perfect example of why the TurboGrafx/TurboDuo failed in the US. Instead of focusing on developing new cutting edge titles, TTi was wasting their time attempting to fix something that wasn't broken to begin with. Those of you who've read my review of the HuCard version of this game will understand that my critique here is not reflective of the game itself, but rather the enigma that is the CD version.

Bonk 3: Bonk's Big Adventure already proved itself a worthy outing with the release of the cartridge earlier in 1993. For whatever reason, TTi felt motivated to try to one-up this release with a "new and improved" CD version of the same game. Maybe to try to push the CD format and the Duo in the process? Not likely, since by the end of 1993 the writing was already on the wall for the console. We may never know the motivation here, but that's beside the point.

Bonk 3 CD addresses the "shortcomings" of the HuCard version by adding a redbook soundtrack and some extra 2 player bonus rounds. Wait a minute.... Oh, that's right, the cart version already had a fine soundtrack and plenty of bonus rounds. At least it should be a no brainer that a redbook soundtrack would automatically destroy a set of lowly chiptunes. .....Right?

The redbook tracks are recomposed versions of the same tunes using "real" instruments which in itself isn't a bad thing, but there are some serious mixing issues that shouldn't have been allowed to make it out the door. First and foremost: someone forgot to equalize the volume of the music tracks. So what, you ask? So a number of the tracks are mixed at such a high volume that they completely and totally drown out all sound effects. Combined with the fact that some tunes (like the short "invincible" jingle) are still chiptunes, and relatively quiet in comparison, makes transition from one to the other extremely jarring. To make matters worse, TTi saw fit to add environmental noises to some of the stages to "complement" the atmosphere. These effects are repeated over and over at 2 second intervals for the duration of the levels. Like many of the redbook tracks, these clips are played at ear-splitting decibels. I don't know about you, but I can do without 30 clips per minute of a bird chirping or "wind" blowing against a microphone.

If there is one thing Bonk 3 is most famous for, it's the introduction of 2-player co-op play to the series. The standard HuCard version offers a fine co-op mode, but Bonk 3 CD takes it a step further by introducing special 2 player bonus rounds. Instead of mixing these with the standard bonus rounds, these have a real tacked-on feel, via randomly placed "VS." gates. I imagine these would be somewhat enjoyable in an actual 2 player game, but in 1 player mode you're pitted against a CPU AI. Problem is, the AI is so utterly stupid and useless that facing off in, say, "wrestling" is excruciatingly tedious. And what's with having to win 10 rounds of these things to move on? Without even so much as a score bonus upon victory, I found myself wondering what the point was.

A glimpse of the exciting new CD-exclusive content.

Worthy of note are the missing frames for angry Bonk when you are giant Bonk. Curiously missing from this CD edition, when Bonk eats meat while he is giant his appearance does not change like it should. In fact, he stays as normal Bonk despite possessing angry Bonk's normal abilities. Chalk up another point for TTi!

The Ugly Crab!

Rocket Man!

A little bit of attention to detail would have gone a long way with this release. You get the feeling the product was rushed out the door, and for what? The game was already out there on HuCard. It's a real shame because Bonk 3 is a really great game, and a properly done CD treatment would've been killer. Unfortunately, Bonk 3 CD proves itself to be a totally superfluous release, and with the ridiculous price it fetches these days on the used market (you can expect to pay hundreds of dollars), I can't think of a single justification for picking it up.