The Brothers Duomazov

Ninja Spirit is part of a remarkably rare breed: it's a TurboChip that even the most adamant TG-16 detractors typically credit as being extremely cool. I'm going to go out on a limb and assert that its good reputation isn't attributable solely to the score of "10" bestowed upon it by Electronic Gaming Monthly's Sushi-X. I think we can ascribe the accolades to the dark, somber manner in which the game sets up and presents its hack-and-slash-and-jump-really-high action: the opening sequence is a scene of tragedy; and once the gloom sets in, it's never shaken. Well into the night, heavyhearted Moonlight makes a vengeance-driven trek through murky marshes and dimly lit temples as hordes of blade-hurling ninja, sneaky spear wielders, and solemn-faced giants look to deal the blow that evokes his death howl.

While exhilarating, the kill-heavy proceedings are hardly deep. It's as if Irem took the few alluring elements that old Legend of Kage has going for it (most notably the ridiculously high jumps Kage is capable of performing) and placed them in a context where the fundamentals are actually sound. Some of Moonlight's end-level adversaries are embarrassingly easy to beat, but most of them are memorable design-wise, and the music that augments the showdowns is wonderfully fast and intense. In fact, the moody Far Eastern-flavored soundtrack is superb on the whole and establishes a very appropriate sense of unease.

Multiple always-in-hand weapons, gravity-defying ceiling jaunts, and recruitable Moonlight-mimicking spirit-allies are other aspects that contribute to Ninja Spirit's high fun factor, which renders its lack of difficulty forgivable (note that its "Arcade" mode is significantly tougher than its "PC Engine" mode and does feature an extra ending scene). As far as old-school ninja games go, I'd say NS doesn't come close to the amazing Shinobi III but can hold its own against any of the rest.

The tragic opening.

NEC was very proud of this big boss back in the day. He appeared in lots of ads and preview/review screens.

You can defeat some bosses with the powered-up bomb weapon before they even have a chance to attack you.

Moonlit Stage 3 has its fair share of challenging parts. Musketmen try to sneak up on you while you concentrate on ghost warriors who can kill with a single slash...

...and staff-twirling monks make nuisances of themselves in the marshlands.

Do some ceiling walking in Stage 4.

The Stage 6 storm-lands look pretty cool and give you plenty of dangerous enemies to deal with.

A look at the last stage's famous ninja pit. Note the (equally famous) safe spot.

The bit of ending text that no one ever has enough time to read, as it's onscreen for only a split second before vanishing.

Gate of Thunder

~ GATE OF THUNDER ~

Red / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1992

Gate's reputation as one of the greatest PC Engine shooters precedes it, and the list of merits to note in its favor is indeed a long one. The virtue that takes to the fore at once is the unforgettable audio. The game boasts spectacular music, from the heavy opening number and the tense Stage 2 track to the rockin' Dark City theme and the badass boss tune. Note that hard rock isn't all that's on offer here; reference the rhythmic Stage 3 tune and the somewhat eerie sixth-boss track.

In addition to featuring one of the best shooter soundtracks ever, Gate boasts some of the genre's all-time coolest level concepts. Few other blast 'em ups put you in as tight a situation as this one does in its very first strip, where you find yourself caught between the surface of a planet and the hull of a ten-screen-long starship. While many lesser shooters contain a typical "blow up a big ship piece by piece" stage, Gate has you mutilate a giant sea monster instead. And I can't think of another 16-bit sidescroller that at any point even comes close to having as much action as the insane Dark City stage, a level augmented by Megadethian riffs that make the experience of playing through it even more exciting.

With sharp visuals, dynamic explosions, bold guitar riffs, and a shades-sporting hero, Gate goes beyond "stylish" and seems to carry itself with an air of cockiness. Featuring flawless mechanics and a relentless enemy armada, it's a brash, fearless shooter that backs up its attitude with quality and substance. I've beaten the game about a million times, yet it's still lots of fun to play. A remarkable title just as enduring as it is intense, Gate has earned itself a spot among my five favorite shooters.

Starting things off with style.

The opening stage has you wreak havoc beneath an incredibly enormous starship.

Gate pits you against some very large mini-bosses, even as early as the second level.

I dig the third stage's lava-vat background, not to mention its big borer boss.

If the fourth boss can't nail you with its energy weapons, it'll resort to using its girth.

The fifth board has you destroy waves of mechanical worms and insects before taking you underwater to battle a sea monster.

While I use the earthquake weapon in most levels for its sheer destructivity, the wave beam boasts greater range and really comes in handy during the famously chaotic Dark City stage.

The enemy hits you with everything it's got during the final stretch.

J.J. and Jeff

~ J.J. & JEFF ~

Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1990

This slipshod action-platformer plays quite poorly compared to many similar titles. While one such title, the Turbo's own New Adventure Island, presents you with a variety of weapons that you can toss at your foes, J.J. grants you a short-range, imprecise little kick-attack as well as an unwieldy and mostly useless auxiliary spray can (which was included in lieu of the Japanese version's crass fart-attack). The action falls drastically short of matching NAI's continual fast-paced play and breathless pacing, as it frequently requires that you halt mid-dash to kick stupid things and receive worthless hints. And the stages are boring, uninspired exercises in basic platforming that repeatedly subject you to awful attempts at comedy.

J.J. fans love this sequence, which has the hero leap from bee-back to bee-back in order to avoid a fiery death. It's about as tricky as the game gets with its platforming segments.

J.J. not only plays terribly but also looks awful. The backdrops are flat, simplistic, ugly, redundant, and practically colorless compared to those sported by plenty of other cartoony platformers. Many of the sub-stages look the same as one another, with an occasional dull-color swap employed if you're really lucky. People actually make a huge fuss over some of the sprites being "large," but the only one that shows any creativity on the part of its creators is an odd-looking dragon-dog thing with a really long neck and a tiny body. All of the bosses are basically the same and can be taken down easily if you kick 'em in the head while dodging the rocks they toss at you.

Some folks love the "snazzy" soundtrack, but I don't. It doesn't help that the same couple of tunes get used over and over again. Even if we were talking about tracks that are the caliber of "Last Moment of the Dark" (and we most certainly are not), I wouldn't want to hear them repeatedly over the course of a single relatively brief adventure. The sound effects are also annoying, particularly the sudden-halt screech and the low-energy alert.

Perhaps the worst aspect of the whole terrible affair is the ridiculous "key" system. Each stage is split into four sub-levels, and you need to find a hidden key (basically by kicking anywhere and everywhere) to gain access to each stage-boss's lair. If you reach the fourth sub-stage but missed the key, you have to go back to an earlier area and search for it again and then replay the parts leading up to where you were. It's an awful, awful system, so let me save you some trouble. Here are the general locations where the keys can be found:

As for the game's "saving grace," the "comedy," well, I guess I'm a sour old man, as plummeting poop and "wonk wonk" dialogue do not amuse me (and no, I do not find that the additional fart-based filth in the Japanese version helps matters much). In fact, nothing in this game amuses me. It's one of the worst titles I've ever come across for the Turbo/PCE.

TV Sports Basketball

~ TV SPORTS BASKETBALL ~

Cinemaware / NEC

HuCard

1991

While it's hardly fantastic, TV Sports Basketball is easily the strongest member of an unexceptional series. Stupid things like the absence of interactive tip-offs and the action-disrupting incorporation of a mid-court menu drag it down, but it's a functional basketball sim. It's ridiculously easy, especially if you have a fast guard (like "DiFalco" on the Wizards) who can outrace every member of the other team down the court. But at least it's not as sloppy as Hockey or as fundamentally flawed as Football.

This feels more like choosing a Halloween costume than selecting a basketball team.

The contest begins. Notice that tip-offs are considered superfluous.

Speedy guards like DiFalco can beat most everyone else to the basket.

The player you're controlling goes on autopilot during these mid-court transitional sequences so that you can call a play. I don't bother to call plays. I don't have any problems winning, either.