The Brothers Duomazov

While people don't typically heap praise on this cartoony action-platformer, they don't often give it the shellacking it deserves either. So for a long time I actually thought I would enjoy the game, as something about the look of it in the few screenshots I'd seen appealed to me.

But this is one of the few Turbo titles that actually look worse when viewed on a television screen than when seen in screen caps. The backgrounds lack detail, the enemy designs are uninspired, and the scenery is bland. The music and sound effects are even more offensive than the visuals, as they're of such revoltingly low quality that they'd be deemed unacceptable for a low-level NES cart. But the horrible controls and ill-conceived stage designs are the aspects that are truly unforgivable, as they "team up" to make the experience as aggravating as possible. But don't worry: it's easy to come up with "strategies" that'll enable you to cheese your way through the levels, and most of the bosses require you to do little more than hold down the fire button (even the last battle is a complete joke). To top it all off, the ending stinks.

I try to look for the good in everything and all that, and I guess the "good" in this case is the variety in weapons you use and challenges you face. You toss snowballs in the cold level and wield an air hose in the underwater level; and there's a sidescrolling shooter stage, a stage that lets you control some other bum, and vertically scrolling "sky skiing" bonus strips. But when everything looks so terrible, sounds so terrible, and plays so terribly, variety can hardly offset all the negative stuff.

The "cinematics" are purposeless.

Good luck with the platforming sections.

You'll end up in a lot of lousy predicaments because of the poor controls.

Oh sure, there's variety, but it's all crap.

Don't these boss fights look exciting?

A duel for the ages.

Avenger

~ AVENGER ~

Laser Soft / Telenet

CD-ROM

1990

Like Psychic Storm, Avenger is a vertical shooter that I've played through more times than any objective analysis would warrant. I'm sure that many people don't bother with it at all because of how primitive it looks in screenshots, and I can't say I blame them. It's as archaic as PCE CD shooters come, visually.

It wouldn't seem to bode well for the game that the first thing that comes to mind for me when it's mentioned is Rim (of Cosmic Fantasy fame) making a surprise appearance (if the player presses Select at the title screen). I tend to recall the music next; most of it is so-so stuff, but the rich, catchy tunes featured in the first and second-to-last stages are definite winners.

When I finally think about the gameplay, the strange control scheme Laser Soft implemented is the element that stands out most in my memories. You need to "lock" your gun into place if you want it to continue firing in a specific direction as you move about; otherwise, it shoots at an angle determined by the direction you're heading in. The game feels sort of like an overhead run-and-gun title in this regard. Sadly, the lock button is also used to trigger limited-quantity auxiliary weapons, so you can be sure that unintended "special" shots will be fired in the heat of battle.

The funny thing about Avenger is that even though it makes an awful initial impression, it actually does contain a heck of a lot of action. The enemies are small and ugly, but they're very fast and aggressive--like pesky, annoying insects--and they fire plenty of projectiles. The weapons system has you decide on armaments to use before each stage, and strategy does come into play during the selection process.

Unfortunately, the nice action is practically offset by the horrible, antiquated visuals. I'm not a graphics hound, but having to look at crap this primitive in a 16-bit shooter is truly off-putting. One stage features a massive vehicle that rumbles along with you for the entirety of the level, firing spread shots and releasing additional enemies at certain points. This should've been an awesome stretch, but instead, it's rather mundane, as the vehicle and the surrounding landscape look absolutely awful. Also, the ending is extremely lame.

Still, the action and the decent soundtrack have been incentive enough for me to revisit the game a number of times. But I doubt that most people will be willing to overlook the poor graphics in order to discover the title's merits; and again, I really can't say I blame them.

She's the star of the show... although, technically, she's not even in the game.

Avenger may not be the most impressive PC Engine game graphically...

...but it actually doesn't slack when it comes to action.

You earn weapons by completing missions. You'll build up quite a set by the end.

The stage-long showdown with a massive vehicle represents a lost opportunity, and not even the decent-looking, action-packed city level can make up for it.

Some of the enemy designs had potential...

...but only the intermediary stills are visually striking.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blood Gear

Blood Gear... man this is a game that came out of NOWHERE and rocked me like a hurricane.

I love side-scrolling action RPGs and have played and beaten them all, including ones most donkey-anus lickers don't like (Zelda II crushes 1 and 3, if you disagree you're a fucking retarded spastic dumbshit fatso). I also love mechs, especially if they have burly legs and arms and look like what Thor would build instead of space shuttles if he was put in charge of Nasa. Blood Gear has both categories covered to the maximum allowed by Japanese law at the time.

The graphics are not the best 2D I've ever seen, but definitely some of the best the Duo has ever thrown out. Everything animates nicely, there is tons of color, and there's even some hefty parallax on certain levels. Some of the bosses are HUGE, and the last boss (in fact the whole last level) is insane. This is one game where I was more than happy with the ending, in fact it ranks in the top 3 ending sequences of any game I've ever played.

The gameplay is all side-scrolling action while town exploration is in the standard overhead RPG view. If you've played Exile or Exile II, you know the formula. I'd also compare it to Zelda II, Monster World IV, Wonder Boy 3 & 5, etc (in fact, Westone, the guys that did the Wonder Boy/Monster World games, are listed in the credits for Blood Gear).

One of the coolest things about this game is the experience system. Basically you earn points every time you defeat and enemy, then you go the mechanics shop and use them on whatever attributes you want. Each of the mechs has a different maximum, and unless you take your time you'll probably beat the game without having to max any of them out.

One final note, the language barrier is pretty much non-existent. The story comes across good through the cinematics, and there wasn't ever a spot where I got stuck for more than a few minutes. Someone with absolutely NO knowledge of Japanese (like me) can easily play through, beat, and enjoy this mammothly gnarly game. I can't recommend Blood Gear any higher, it's honestly one of the best old school games I've ever played.

Soldier Blade

~ SOLDIER BLADE ~

Hudson Soft

HuCard

1992

Pre-release screens of this shooter caught my eye thanks to the often-depicted big-ass laser super-shot, which is absolutely awesome.

As cool as the energy overload weapon is, though, the featured boss assemblage is the game's pride and joy. Soldier Blade's multi-part machines can really take a beating, and they have lots of different weapons to hammer you with. Dismantling them is a pleasure.

The coolest fellows in the lot appear during Operation 6:

This craft utilizes the armaments of slain bosses before tearing pieces from the wall and chucking them at you...

...while this huge contraption can teleport you to distant spots in space...

...and that isn't the only trick he has up his sleeve.

The standard stage foes are a stout bunch for the most part, though some of them have a very-flat look about them; and by Operation 5, enemy redundancy becomes a bit of a problem. But the action is consistently heavy; SB's strips never reach the level of intensity that Blazing Lazers' last few stages attain, but they don't contain BL's stretches of dead space either. They also look a good bit better than decent. Operation 3's blasted-up city was drawn extremely well, as was the sixth-level base, but for whatever reason, I've always found the cloud depictions in Operation 2 most appealing.

The most interesting progression of events occurs in Operation 4:

You can see your enemies maneuvering below you before they fly up to assault you. After you fend them off and defeat a good, tough midboss...

...the ground opens up. Soar through the steel-lined fissure until you find a gateway that somehow sucks you into outer space...

...where a flame-throwing robot confronts you.

The music is nice, if not particularly special except in a couple of stages. SB has the sort of opening-level music that every shooter should have: the track flaunts a catchy hook and gets you involved and excited at once. And Operation 5's up-tempo number adds to that respective strip's intensity.

For some players, Soldier Blade might seem to lack a certain "wow" factor. The action and the visuals, while quite solid, never really reach a point where they could be considered mind blowing. This might be a concern since SB costs a decent chunk of change relative to most other chip shooters. I got mine on the cheap years ago and have never looked back, but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't hesitate to plunk down a good $30-40 for it. There's no question that it's one of the strongest chip verticals.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dragon Egg

~ DRAGON EGG! ~

NCS/Masaya

HuCard

1991

I think I'm getting soft in my old age. I really enjoy this silly little game. I wasn't crazy about it at first, as it seemed like a fairly uninspired run-and-jump-and-bop sort of thing featuring a bumbling, dragon-egg-toting protagonist and so-so gameplay, but its graphics encouraged me to maintain hope. Vibrant colors and a few well-implemented effects enhance the attractive locales. Among my favorite of DE's graphical aspects are the clouds that calmly drift by in its pretty blue skies and the undulating, scenery-reflecting river of a log-riding strip.

Thank goodness the visuals are so appealing; otherwise, I might not have stuck with the game long enough to hatch out and hop atop the clumsy heroine's dragon ally and realize that the gameplay actually isn't so bad. While in control of a full-powered beast, you can shoot plenty of large, enemy-seeking fire bullets and reach previously out-of-the-way platforms and icons. If you're a decent player, you'll have the big lizard fully strengthened and ready to cause some major damage very early on, meaning you won't have to spend much time goofing around with lesser phases--unless, of course, you die at some point.

But you won't die, not once you're powered up--unless you fucking suck. And that brings us to the main issue most folks will have with the game: it's a complete cakewalk while you're riding the redoubtable dragon. Bosses (even the last guy) go down in no time at all, and you seldom have to put forth any real effort while playing through the stages themselves. Consider the aforementioned log-riding scene: by simply standing in one spot and firing away, you can make it to the end of the level without taking a single hit. Of course, you can avoid the dragon power-ups if you want some additional challenge, but then the game will play like an uninspired title again, and, well, it'll still be really easy (aside from the final battle).

Another aspect of DE that some won't like is the fact that the three stages that make up the second half of the adventure are very, very short. The brevity of Stage 4's log ride is understandable, as the stretch basically constitutes a mere "gimmick strip" anyway, but there's no reason that the desert and castle boards shouldn't have featured more sub-sections to fight through, especially considering that the first three levels all offer multiple areas to explore. It makes you wonder if, at some point, the designers just decided to speed things up and get the project out the door.

Pleasant visuals inspired me to trudge onwards when the gameplay seemed unspectacular.

The third area is large and mazelike, but subsequent scenes--including the short desert strip--are very straightforward.

Take a good look at the bosses now, as most of them will last for only a few seconds onscreen before your mighty dragon destroys them.

As if you weren't already practically invincible, you can purchase a protective barrier to drop the level of challenge to a degree below laughable.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Final Soldier

~ FINAL SOLDIER ~

Hudson Soft

HuCard

1991

Someone will have to explain to me why this vert has the reputation of being markedly inferior to its PCE Soldier siblings. I put off buying FS for ages because many people had pronounced it mediocre, and I ultimately came to regret my procrastination. Once I finally got around to buying the game, I discovered that it rules.

The armament system is initially the most impressive part. FS allows players to select a number of weapons from a huge batch that consists of all sorts of beams, flames, bubble bombs, and swirly ring-type things. Its large assortment of devastators is quite preferable to the skimpy gun sets offered in Super Star Soldier and Soldier Blade.

Its visuals are also pretty nice, much more appealing than SSS's. Granted, some of the backgrounds come off as uninspired, but that's kind of the way of things with this series. At least FS's graphics are very sharp and fairly colorful, and they improve as the game goes along. The rockin' music is pretty good too. The influence of Blazing Lazers can be detected in the last-level tune.

I can think of only two aspects of the product (other than the at-times-drab backdrops) that people might consider flaws. For one thing, the levels are quite long... but at least the action is consistent and there are midbosses to contend with. For another, FS is a lot easier than SSS and SB... but I don't particularly care about that, as it's a lot of fun anyway.