Human Sports Festival

~ HUMAN SPORTS FESTIVAL ~

Human

Super CD-ROM

1992

This disc contains three separate sports games, so I might as well break 'em down individually:

Final Match Tennis Ladies is the girlie counterpart to what is probably the most well-beloved PC Engine tennis game. Perspective-wise, the action is reminiscent of World Court Tennis', but the gameplay is much tighter and more enjoyable than WCT's. Still, the game is a little "dinky," and I prefer the more realistic feel and presentation of Davis Cup. But FMTL is certainly fun and fast paced, and it should be a treat for anyone who thinks WCT is even remotely playable. It easily could have stood on its own as a worthwhile HuCard.

Formation Soccer Human Cup '92 makes a poor first impression with horribly repetitive music and a cumbersome control scheme that has you press Run both to switch from one player to another and to select a teammate to pass to. Once you've got the controls down, the game isn't exactly terrible, but it can be quite boring, as you have to spend a lot of time simply fighting for the ball. Halftime is the highlight, as you can change the channel on a monitor that the contest is being "watched" on and check out other stuff like wrestling matches and Human's weather channel. It's pretty amusing (once).

Fine Shot Golf was a pleasant surprise. The gameplay is tight, and everything that needs to be done in setting up and taking a shot is made convenient for the player. The holes get pretty tricky but never stupidly so. I'm sure that some golf-game aficionados will find it too simple and easy, but it fits the bill fine for me as an enjoyable pick-up-and-play title. The graphics are definitely on the simplistic side (you never actually see a guy swing and hit the ball; it just sort of takes off on its own), but the jazzy music is surprisingly good and actually reminds me of Langrisser's soundtrack at times. This game manhandles Power Golf.

So the disc gives you two good games, and since it's extraordinarily cheap (often five bucks or less), it's easily recommendable to players who have even the slightest interest in tennis or golf sims.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

~ WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO? ~

Pack-in Video / Broderbund Software

CD-ROM

1990

While I like to praise the oft-disparaged geniuses who developed games for Pack-in Video every chance I get, I guess they don't deserve a whole lot of credit for this menu-driven mystery title being a quality product. After all, Broderbund is the company that crafted the original computer-based version and came up with the concept for the game in the first place. Then again, this is a fantastic port, one that'll appeal most to us old folks who chased after crime-lord Carmen and her crowd of crooks back in our junior-high days. New sleuths with no nostalgia for the game should still get a couple of hours of fun out of it, and it probably won't cost more than a fiver to acquire. It's too bad that Where in Time wasn't brought over to the PCE as well.

Stay hot on the trail of ever-on-the-move criminals by garnering information about their exploits in the cities you tour...

...and learn about the histories, geographies, and economies of said cities while you're at it.

It usually isn't difficult to figure out where to go next, but even though this is an easy game, it isn't a dull one...

...thanks in part to the funny animated bits that play out when you're on the right path.

The places you visit look pretty nice, and the appealing imagery is accompanied by appropriate location-exclusive tunes.

Lock up Carmen's cronies one by one, and then go after the ringleader herself.

1941 Counter Attack

~ 1941 COUNTER ATTACK ~

Hudson Soft / Capcom

HuCard (SuperGrafx)

1991

After the antiquated vertical blaster 1943 Kai had let me down big time, I wasn't about to get my hopes up for its thematically similar SuperGrafx descendant. But while 1941 is reminiscent of '43 in many fundamental aspects, it's actually a heck of a lot more fun to play.

It maintains a fast pace, unlike 1943's monotonous first set of strips, but forethought and logic are evident in its level designs: no sequence here reminds one of the stretches of seemingly random projectile spewing in Kai's "new" stages. Adding a little fun and variety are diagonally scrolling segments; the adventure isn't just an uninterrupted bottom-to-top trip. And using the devastating missile weapon to annihilate enemies spread across the screen provides the satisfying feeling of slaughter one always hopes to experience when playing a shooter.

The graphical upgrade from Kai, though expected, is stunning. Gone are the simplicity and redundancy of 1943's uninspiring seas and skies. Counter Attack's environments not only are detailed and gorgeous but also exert themselves as factors in the gameplay itself. You'll demolish city buildings and cliff crests; navigate narrow passageways; and, in some harrowing but inevitable instances, struggle to regain control as your plane careens off walls (due to your own carelessness, of course).

Amazingly, there are times when the music impresses even more than the visuals. Sure, these tunes might not strike one for "remarkable drum quality" or whatever other reasons people come up with for lauding Kai's mediocre numbers, but the compositions themselves are extremely pleasant. Nonetheless, we must return to the graphics to find 1941's most memorable superficial moments, which, of course, come during boss confrontations. The big machines featured this time around are far more interesting than 1943's occasional large-yet-remarkably-dull planes and boats.

Even with all it does right, Counter Attack certainly isn't impervious to criticism. In a game that focuses almost exclusively on twitch action rather than memorization (and indeed seems built for such an approach), there are places where enemies will suddenly ram you up the ass or dart onscreen from odd angles, making for some cheap-feeling hits. (Of course, with an extendable life meter in tow, most players won't consider these moments to be game wrecking.) Also, while it does just about everything it can with the World War II concept, '41 can seem a little dull thematically, being that its PCE peers include the fantastical likes of Sapphire and Spriggan. Nevertheless, Counter Attack is well worth buying when and if you locate it at a reasonable price, as its action, visuals, and soundtrack combine to provide an entertaining experience--even though it has you deal with planes, ships, and other contraptions that take their cues from real-world technology rather than crazy creatures and mecha.

Wonder Momo

~ WONDER MOMO ~

Namco

HuCard

1989

Wonder Momo was never exactly at the top of my to-get list, but I'd been interested in it for quite a while before I finally went ahead and purchased it. Its appealing cover art is really what evoked my fascination, but the game itself looked like it had the potential to be a kitsch classic, a goofy title that would follow the path paved by lords of the lowbrow like Night Creatures and Energy and endear itself to me despite obvious flaws. Of course, the risk involved with such hopes is that the botch-job in question might prove to be more irritating than amusing, as is the case with the rough, repetitive Bravoman. Wonder Momo, unfortunately, flounders in the Bravoman category.

A girl who seems somewhat brain damaged gets up on a stage graced with ugly, boring backdrops as an audience roots her on with World Court Tennis-style whistles and applause. You play as the addled goofball and kick around a number of dopey-looking foes, building up your "wonder" meter in the process. An ample accumulation of wonder enables you to don a helmet and a "power outfit" and toss a bouncing ring-type weapon. Beat up enough goons and a tougher goon or two will appear, and then it's on to the next act (of which there are twelve in all).

All of this probably sounds pretty stupid, and, well, it really is. It's also repetitive and more than a little annoying thanks to iffy controls and troublesome aerial bad guys. But hey, after every few stages you get to see a picture of the chick looking "pretty." And if that doesn't sound like strong incentive to keep going, well...

...it really isn't.

Vigilante

~ VIGILANTE ~

Irem / NEC

HuCard

1989

I acquired Vigilante back when it was first released, and it has sucked ass from the very beginning. Taking its cue from ancient Kung Fu, it offers straightforward punch-and-kick action that calls for little thought, skill, or finesse. Stand in one spot and hold down a button with the corresponding turbo switch cranked up, and watch as your foes mindlessly stumble into beatings. Take a few steps forward and perform the same routine to deal with the next batch of assailants. Occasionally, you'll come into possession of nunchucks that'll essentially grant you invincibility until you encounter particular bosses.

The bosses are hardly difficult to beat, but they're stout, thickset fellows who don't go down easily. Get in a few jabs, take a couple of steps back in anticipation of a counterattack, and then move in once again. It's a tedious, unchallenging exercise, the thought of which won't encourage you to pound your way through the dull-in-their-own-right levels.

Your enemies look every bit the part of dopes, while the backdrops are drab for the most part.

A number of the game's tunes have stuck with me, and sometimes I'm silly enough to think it would be cool to revisit them, but the sad reality is that most of 'em sound terrible; and once the possibility of a pleasant aural reunion goes down the tubes, it's a given that the experience on the whole will suck.

At least your quest won't take you very far, so you'll endure minimal pain before reaching the amazing "WAY TO GO DUDE" ending screen. But when a game I've owned since '89 can barely make me wax nostalgic at all, well, the game really can't be worth a damn.

Little time is wasted before Vigilante lets you know just how goofy it really is.

It's turbo-switch-treated Kung Fu: clobber your witless enemies until you reach a boss.

The third level actually looks pretty nice, and it features a sequence that sees bikers attempt to run you down--the one stretch where the game deviates from its vanilla walk-halt-hit routine.

I get a kick out of how silly these oafish twins look as they go about their various attack motions.

There are references to other Irem products to be spotted in the final stage's backdrop--nice touches in what's generally a lousy and uninteresting game.

Veigues Tactical Gladiator

~ VEIGUES TACTICAL GLADIATOR ~

Victor Musical Industries / Game Arts / NEC

HuCard

1990

Back when I was in junior high, I had a friend with whom I would frequently get together and play this sidescrolling punch-and-blast game. We seemed to be the only people in the world who liked it. Magazines ripped on it, and our other friends made fun of us for playing a game in which the bosses actually run away after certain amounts of time. As the years went by, I came to look back on it as a mediocre product that I liked for my own idiosyncratic reasons, so I wasn't expecting much when I got around to revisiting it. As it turns out, I underestimated the title. Veigues tends to plummet in my esteem when I spend some time away from it and then impresses me more than ever when eventually given the chance.

The graphics stand out at once: the game boasts lots of colors, lots of parallax, and lots of large sprites. The music is also appealing, reminiscent of R-Type's during its melodic bits but rocking at certain points to a greater degree than any R-T tune.

The typical knock on the title is that it's a decent effort superficially but a sloppy dud when it comes to gameplay. I assert that taking a couple of sessions to get accustomed to piloting the initially clunky mecha would be worthwhile, as there's a lot to like about the play system. Veigues comes equipped with chest-mounted artillery and a mighty arm cannon, and it can pummel its foes with a devastating punch-attack. While the tactical gladiator seems graceless at first, it can pull off a rather slick "turn-around" technique that enables it to dodge enemy fire. Should Veigues fail to evade enough of that fire, parts of its body will be blown apart as defeat draws near. Points are awarded for kills and are used during strategic post-stage distribution sessions to strengthen the mecha's weaponry and armor. Make good use of those points, utilize your radar, and figure out the best weapons to use and spots to occupy for each leg of the adventure, and the gameplay will actually start to feel smooth.

Put in enough practice and you'll eventually get to enjoy a really cool ending, certainly one of the coolest HuCard finales I've witnessed (don't stop watching when the credits start rolling...). Heck, there's even a "fake ending" cinema before Veigues takes off for the final mission. I can't think of many other instances where developers put so much effort into cinematics for a chip game--or into presenting a truly unique experience augmented by extremely impressive aesthetic elements.

Veigues deserves praise for a great many things. I can only recommend that people stick with it beyond initial sessions that are sure to be rough; I think they might end up pleasantly surprised.