Takin' it to the Hoop

~ TAKIN' IT TO THE HOOP ~

AiCOM / NEC

HuCard

1989

I put off purchasing this game for many years, as I was in no rush to pick up something that, according to numerous reports, is inferior to wrinkled old Double Dribble. Actually, Takin' is essentially a cartoony rendition of DD. As such, it bears little resemblance to real basketball and looks goofy as hell... but really, who cares? It wasn't intended to be a serious basketball sim (you'd be better off with TV Sports Basketball if that's what you're looking for). It's just a fast-paced, carefree game of hoops that plays reasonably well and has amusing character "portraits"; and it demands little in the way of strategy aside from the occasional substitution of players. Taking it for what it is, I had fun with it... for a few minutes.

Then I got annoyed with it. The games run way too long, with no apparent means of shortening them available. The screeching music drives me crazy, even after I set the volume incredibly low. And the worst part of all is the "difficulty curve." Exhibition and early Tournament matches present practically no challenge: you'll be ahead by an insurmountable margin at the end of the first quarter and have to endure three more long periods before finishing up or advancing. But later in the tourney you'll encounter steal-happy opponents who need do little more than graze your players in order to capture the ball. Of course, despite their defensive "skills," the computer-controlled ball handlers still perform foolishly, making it easy to regain possession and transforming the game into a turnover fest. And when your dopey foes finally start to wear down, you'll have no trouble nailing boatloads of successive baskets and taking control of the contest completely. I certainly don't expect realism from the Takin' experience, but these sorts of matches are just plain stupid.

Choose a city to play for and meet the misfits on your club.

Play along and pretend there's some sort of strategy involved in the gameplay.

Dunks and free throws receive the fancy (read: usual) close-up treatment.

You'll be burying the computer and realize an eternity still remains before the final seconds will tick off the clock. Fun.

Halftime "entertainment."

Think the computer needs to make better use of its bench players?

If you're willing to sleepwalk through early-round blowouts and trade innumerable turnovers in the farces that are the later matches, you too can survive the daunting Takin' tournament bracket.

Genji Tsushin Agedama

~ GENJI TSUSHIN AGEDAMA ~

NEC

HuCard

1991

Genji is an interesting, enjoyable forced-scrolling platform game. The weaponry at the hero's disposal constitutes the highlight of the affair: Agedama can attack his adversaries with fireballs; tornadoes; wave beams; musclebound genies; lightning bolts; and the SUPER SKULL OF DEATH, which causes the action to stop as the play area quakes and flashes (perhaps reminding one of the full-power-blow effects in The Legendary Axe).

Our multi-skilled protagonist can also perform a quick little somersault, which has the dual advantage of hurting his enemies while rendering him momentarily invincible (like how "slides" work in quite a few other action games). Boss fights are fun, although I eventually figured out how to use the somersault to cheese my way through most of them.

The soundtrack, which was produced by T's Music, seemed a bit primitive at first, but the melodies grew on me before long. The graphics are bright and colorful, with pretty skies, seas, and waterfalls enhancing the usual "grassy" levels, and even the deserts and caves are anything but bland.

The game isn't as fast paced as New Adventure Island, and its stages aren't as cleverly designed as NAI's. It's painfully short, clocking in at a mere six levels while similar games like NAI, J.J. & Jeff, and Monster Lair offer lots more. And the forced scrolling is dropped midway through the fifth strip, making later-stage play feel rather methodical until one reaches a sweet boss gauntlet (which features a warship, the previous bosses, a wizard guy, a bunch of cannons, and a two-form final foe).

For some reason, Genji always seems to be priced at either a reasonable ten bucks or a bloated thirty-plus. If you spot an inexpensive copy, I recommend buying it, as the adventure is fun (if fleeting) stuff.

Galaga '90

~ GALAGA '90 ~

Namco / NEC

HuCard

1989

There used to be a code of ethics for vertical shooting that was followed by human and alien alike. Mankind was allowed a craft that would reside at the bottom of the screen as the invading armada aligned itself at the opposite end. Each side was granted its weapon of choice (a pea shooter, without fail). And they went at it. No world-obliterating armaments and none of that “change speeds on the fly” nonsense. You shot from one end, they shot from the other--battle done mano-a-mano, with one winner emerging. Galaga ‘90, the old guard's ultimate revenge, takes us back to the times when wars were waged with dignity.

Now, the fact that we’re traveling back a few years doesn’t mean that we have to be crude--Galaga ‘90 does “old school” with style. Take those pitch-black backgrounds from Atari classics and adorn them with flashing stars of various appealing colors. The twinkling luminaries slowly descend as we head into battle, some plummeting more quickly than others. This gorgeous “snowfall” is accompanied by pretty images of enormous satellites and icy planets in the distance. Who needs Mode 7 and swirling lava and other such junk when we’ve got simple, sincere beauty such as this?

Of course, you’ll probably be more concerned about the myriad intergalactic creatures who prance about the attractive canvas. Winged insect-like beasts and chubby alien miscreants alike surge onto the playfield, partake in fancy flying antics, and settle into their battle positions (rows near the top of the screen). It’s a likable bunch, to be sure. You’ve got your “Big Bangs,” who inflate themselves when you nail them with your missiles and ultimately pop like balloons. There are the charismatic “BOOMs,” who spontaneously give birth to mini-renditions of themselves upon being slaughtered. And then there’s the tough fella--the “Man of War.” This character is certainly an adept fighter--he uses his steel-plated wings to defend himself prior to launching his attacks--but he’s also smart: watch as he positions himself in front of his allies, thus protecting with his armor not only himself but also his comrades.

While they may appear meek, your enemies become extremely fast late in the adventure, making them tough to take down as they soar about the screen in erratic patterns, firing missiles at you all the while. These guys aren’t only relentless; they’re downright ferocious, and they make the experience a hell of a lot more intense than you’d ever expect it to be based on initial impressions. Nonetheless, Galaga ‘90 always remembers not to take itself too seriously, as you'll discover when your screen starts flashing with an unforgettable message: "THAT IS GALACTIC DANCING." Wacky tunes begin playing as your insect-like foes do the improbable: they call off their assault to... dance. But don't you stop firing away, as you’ve just stumbled upon Galaga ‘90's take on bonus rounds.

Well, it’s got charm in spades. It’s got length, for sure, as it presents twenty-nine levels to blast through. It makes for a good challenge, as anyone who has been crushed by a surging Bodyguard can attest to. Its replay value is quite high, especially considering the respective sights to be seen over four separate routes through the adventure (you gain access to alternative paths by acquiring special capsules and performing "dimension warps"). It even exhibits beauty, which is the last thing one would expect from a game that, in essence, revisits and pays homage to relics.

But what makes Galaga ‘90 truly special is the way it can put a player in a zone like few other shooters can. Once you’ve honed your skills, identified your adversaries’ assault patterns, and developed your strategy for attack... once you find yourself wiping out entire waves of enemies one after another and see your supply of reserve ships increasing while your score soars... this is when you’ll be not only hooked but also immersed. You’ll discover that zone of intense concentration that nothing can shake you from. This sort of feeling--this unwavering focus and the pride one feels from maintaining a high level of performance--is what keeps one coming back for more. The game becomes more enjoyable after you beat it, as you return time and time again to take additional shots at breaking personal records. Galaga ‘90, a TurboChip with a simple premise and a rather mundane exterior, becomes in the eyes of the player who has experienced it not only unique but also extraordinary.

You choose between a standard single-craft model or a double-ship right at the beginning. You can upgrade to the mighty triple fighter later on.

"Boss Galaga" uses his tractor beam to capture ships from your stock. Allowing him to do so and then merging with the craft he abducted after striking him down is actually a method of upgrading.

The graphics aren't all about simple stars on black.

Blast up the galactic dancers. Perfection is celebrated with fireworks.

Snag dark-blue capsules to perform dimension warps, which take you to tougher paths. Only by traveling the most challenging route can you see the best ending.

Most areas feature single-screen engagements, but some sections scroll vertically.

The boss creatures are pretty neat. Sadly, there are very few of 'em.

Yawara 2

~ YAWARA! 2 ~

SOFIX / Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1994

Yawara and the stumblebum journalist who starred in the first game are relegated to supporting roles here, which is fine by me, as I didn't like them much to begin with. But taking their place at the forefront is an awkward, ungainly moron who's less appealing than, well, just about every other character who has ever been granted a starring role in a video game.

She and a bunch of other klutzes train under an old, irascible coach and then participate in a series of boring, predictable judo matches.

There's plenty of whining, crying, and dull conversing to endure. There's also some "humor," most of which involves large people falling on small people.

Hilarious! Almost as funny as the below-average graphics and poor chip music (I should note that the vocal numbers actually aren't too bad).

The digital comic isn't the only "attraction" here, though. Among the extras are a judo mini-game; a quiz mode; a cooking lesson; and unlockable options that allow you to listen to the game's tunes and partake in othello matches, among other things.

Unfortunately, the "added bonuses" don't suffice to make the game worth a look.

Columns

~ COLUMNS ~

Telenet / Sega

HuCard

1991

Porting Columns to the PC Engine wasn't exactly a high-risk proposition for Telenet. Still, they did a job worthy of commendation with this conversion; it's a fine rendition of Sega's solid gemstone-placement puzzler. The PCE stands tall in performing the semi-brooding soundtrack (which was always the game's greatest strength). And I must say that I really dig the cover art.

Columns is no Puyo Puyo in any respect, as it lacks that title's charisma, charm, and vigor. It isn't as clever in concept as seminal Tetris, nor is it as addictive. But it remains one of the more enjoyable well-puzzle games released during its day, and playing it can actually be rather relaxing: you may find yourself in a comfortable zone amidst the methodical block-dropping and atmospheric score.

Your job is to make gems vanish by lining up three or more of a kind. There's a brief tutorial just in case you're baffled by that incredibly complicated concept.

Practice mode offers more options for customizing your play experience than does Arcade...

...but the mode you choose might just come down to which of the respective color sets you prefer.

Your point total will really soar if you can knock out lots of blocks at once and set off chain reactions.

Most of your chains will be pleasant surprises rather than products of clever maneuvering, but you can put yourself in position for success by setting up diagonal connections and combinations.

"Wildcard" gemsets will occasionally bail you out of jams.