Neutopia

~ NEUTOPIA ~

Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1990

This was no mere case of complimentary emulation or innocuous mimicking. With Neutopia, Hudson pulled off one of the most blatant and egregious acts of conceptual appropriation in the history of gaming. Of course, being that the patterned-after object is an undeniable classic and that the copycats did their work quite well, Turbo players have never felt any need to decry the remarkably conspicuous theft. I myself liked The Legend of Zelda a whole lot when I was a kid, so I certainly had no gripes with being served an additional helping of vast overworld and spooky labyrinths.

Well, after many, many years and a couple of recent playthroughs, I still like Neutopia, but my experiences with it back in the day were much more enjoyable, and I'm afraid I must presently downgrade it from "great" to merely "pleasant." Mechanically, this one-screen-at-a-time adventure game seems obsolete compared to Crystalis for the NES, let alone the many mighty action-RPGs that were eventually released for the Duo. There are very few true secrets and puzzles to speak of. Practically all of the "secret spots" are marked, and the "puzzles" largely consist of pushing every block in every room. It's still pretty fun to explore the environments and hack things up, especially since the graphics are quite nice and the controls are adequate (if rudimentary). However, when considering not only the superior 16-bit action-RPGs that were released subsequent to Neutopia's prime but also the mighty Alundra--which took basic ideas from Zelda and augmented them with an amazing story, brain-busting puzzles, and refined controls--well, Neutopia starts to seem a bit lacking.

Neutopia imitates Zelda well as far as basic gameplay aspects go, but it can't match the elements that make Zelda truly special. As primitive as it is, Zelda is incredibly atmospheric, thanks in large part to its eternally memorable soundtrack. Exploring its overworld feels like a grand, epic experience. Navigating its labyrinths is eerie and suspenseful. The enemies are interesting and oftentimes powerful. And playing it now produces a sweet bit of nostalgia thanks to those qualities. Neutopia, on the other hand, has never felt like anything more than a short, cartoony adventure. And now, there's no nostalgia. No atmosphere. No tunes that stay with me after I turn the game off. No brutal enemies that could stand up to the Darknuts of Zelda fame. Just decent, appealing questing.

I don't want to sound too negative; Neutopia is still fun, and there isn't a single moment during the adventure when I'm not enjoying myself to an extent. But sadly, the game simply hasn't aged all that well.

Exploring the overworld while battling cartoony fiends is a pleasant-enough activity...

...but uncovering the land's ill-concealed "secrets" isn't hard enough to be rewarding.

Similarly, circumventing the underworld's "defense systems" is seldom difficult.

When you're not avoiding (obvious) traps and pushing blocks, you'll be "brawling" with small Zelda-foe rip-offs.

Actually, Zelda gives you more neat stuff to mess around with.

And Ganon doesn't waste any time babbling in cliche.

I do give Neutopia credit for its cool cartoony bosses... though, like most other aspects of the game, they seemed larger and cooler back when I was a kid.

Zero Wing

~ ZERO WING ~

Toaplan / Naxat Soft

CD-ROM

1992

Being that we're dealing with the PC Engine version of Zero Wing, we needn't devote any time to redundant commentary on that "base are us" bullshit. So let's get right down to business.

Zero Wing is a pretty decent shooter. It grants you only three weapons, and all are typical shoot-'em-up-gun fare (red vulcan shots, blue lasers, green homing things), but all are pretty handy when powered up, and I doubt you'll ever yearn for additional artillery during play. As it is, there are spots where your life will be significantly easier if you possess a certain weapon, so experimentation with the set can prove rewarding. Enemies will send enough spread-shot swathes your way to keep your attention occupied. The collision detection is ever so slightly off (your hitbox extends the tiniest bit beyond the front and rear of your ship), but this is hardly a major problem. There really isn't anything egregiously wrong with the basic gameplay.

Sadly, there's nothing particularly interesting about it either. The gimmick employed by ZW is a Boss Galaga-style tractor beam that allows you to capture small enemies and hurl them at their allies. The technique isn't conceptually awful, but it doesn't end up being all that useful. Should you forget all about it, you can still get through the game unscathed. And it's hard to be impressed by this "suck 'em in and spit 'em out" method of harassing foes when 16-bit peer Gaiares actually allows you to rob bad guys of super-awesome armaments.

It's too bad, as this game could've used a successful gimmick. Despite decent gameplay, Zero Wing is dull at times due to visually boring stage and enemy designs. You get a lot of the typical, tired "space 'n base" stuff; some water here and red sky there is about as far as the visuals go as far as variety is concerned, and there are way too many stages (ten) for the game to be able to get away with such austere backgrounds. The cinemas, too, are displays of poor artistry, particularly when it comes to character designs. And while ZW's music is certainly not poor and has a flavor to it reminiscent of Hellfire S', none of the tunes are all that exciting or memorable.

These aren't the best cinemas you'll ever see in a Duo game. Going for drama is nice and all, but it doesn't work when the character art isn't up to par.

You can use your tractor beam to capture enemies, but the technique doesn't come in handy very often.

Holding a hostage will prove worth your while during the sixth boss battle, as you can use captives as shields to defend yourself from the big machine's bullets.

There's no shortage of enemies to blast, but when they look like these guys and appear in stages that look like this one, boredom sets in anyway.

Not that every stretch is simple and bland. The maze section of Stage 5 is anything but straightforward and contains some neat creatures, particularly the crawlers with the huge eyes.

Speaking of huge eyes, this mini-boss is one of the cooler enemies.

Actually, most of the mini-bosses come well equipped for battle...

...but it's the big fellas who really pack the major firepower.

The last guy comes at you hard. The energy spheres move fast, and they're not the only attack option he's got.

Iga Ninden Gaou

~ IGA NINDEN GAOU ~

Nichibutsu

Super CD-ROM

1993

I'm a big fan of hack-and-slash games in general, and this one looked decent enough in pics. Internet reviewer consensus is that it's merely average, but as long as an action-platformer is remotely playable, I can usually forgive it for being lackluster and get some enjoyment out of it. Unfortunately, Iga isn't just below average; it actually borders on being flat-out horrible.

Crappy controls constitute the main issue I have with it. The hero of the affair is slow and very stiff: simply turning around in the heat of battle can be a chore for him. Jumping also feels awful, as our champion can leap for great height but barely any distance at all. His repertoire of techniques is quite limited, confined to the usual hacks and projectile tosses along with a little bit of "ninja magic." It's not that I demand lots of moves and whatnot in an action title, but I expect more from a 16-bit-era game of this type; the same period brought us Shinobi III and Kaze Kiri, after all.

Not that you'll need any special attacks to get through the simple, boring stages. They demand little but straightforward hacking along with some basic platforming involving small pits here and moving platforms there. Not a shred of ingenuity came into play during the design of these stages; in fact, I myself didn't have to put thought into my actions at any point in the proceedings. The bosses are jokes, while the regular enemies are an uninspired lot: many take after old Castlevania creatures such as Medusa heads and fishmen, while others come off as meek Ninja Spirit rejects.

While they aren't very challenging, the levels do look fairly nice at times (due to smart choices in color, not top-notch drawing or cool concepts and effects). Unfortunately, most of them drag on for so long and are so repetitive that even the appealing background shades can't prevent players from losing interest. To break up the monotony, there are quite a few "break scenes," which I'm reluctant to call "cinemas." They aren't graphically impressive in the slightest, and as they play out, a third of the screen is usually occupied by text. Voice acting was clearly too much to ask for.

The music is quiet and forgettable, though I could see it holding greater appeal if placed in a stronger context. It certainly can't compare to Kaze Kiri's; in fact, the only thing Iga can boast of when pitted against KK is level design that isn't completely flat. Kaze dominates it in all other areas: controls, techniques, bosses, music, and cinemas. At its best, Iga is an uninspired, repetitive, easy platformer; at its worst, it's actually quite painful to play.

Dragon Knight and Graffiti

~ DRAGON KNIGHT & GRAFFITI ~

Elf / NEC Avenue

Super CD-ROM

1995

Anyone who knows me knows how fond I am of Dragon Knight II, which I'd already played through by the time I acquired Dragon Knight & Graffiti. Whether it was fair of me or not, I had very high expectations for this first DK chapter (which was actually the last episode of the series to be released for the PCE) based on the enjoyment I'd garnered from DK2. Nonetheless, DK&G proved itself to be a great first-person dungeon crawler in its own right, one with some extremely impressive visual elements.

Random-battle monsters are animated and look great as they perform their attacks.

There are cool dragon bosses to deal with, and you'll have to fight your way through a gauntlet of them before you can face...

...this guy, the final boss.

In-town shots are extremely bright and polished, making them much more impressive than the raw images in DK2.

The dungeon itself, on the other hand, is quite bland.

As cool as the enemies look, they're still the usual demons, orcs, and goblins that we're all used to seeing in RPGs, while DK2 has us face awesome girl-fiends (portraits of whom are huge and impressive, making encounters with new monstrosities events to look forward to). Also, the battles in 2 are quick and painless, while combat in this one can be a drag when you have to deal with five or six bums in one fight. If I could have things my way, I'd implement a mix of what works in each game. Random battles with traditional foes that animate well are cool, and dragon bosses are definitely cool, but adding in girl-fiends and employing a system conducive to quick combat rounds would improve things considerably. In fact, the mixture of elements ultimately utilized in DK3's battles is pretty much perfect.

Rather than have you fight the girls like DK2 does, DK&G asks that you save them from various monsters and miscreants.

You'll gain some interesting allies during your rescue missions.

Most of the girls are very relieved and appreciative when you come to their aid...

...but some are kind of... elusive.

Encounters with rescued girls are a lot more entertaining in DK2, which has a sense of humor that's present in spots in this episode but is rarely as overt. At the same time, thanks to a superior soundtrack and odder characters, 2 really makes me feel like I'm in an extremely strange and mysterious realm when I play it, a feeling this chapter never truly gives me. DK2 effortlessly goes from ludicrous to atmospheric and back again, and whether it's trying to be amusing or ominous, it always succeeds with its attempts, and that's why it's a special game to me. DK&G feels like a high-quality but fairly traditional dungeon crawler with a "girls showing skin" element.

Yep, there are plenty of anime chicks in "compromising" positions.

Humorous material here includes monster mealtime and orc befuddlement.

Also, there's nothing in this episode's story that compares with the surprising plot twist at the end of 2. But all of this is just me comparing a very good game to one I personally hold in the highest regard, so don't be fooled by the negativity. DK&G is a must if you're a fan of the genre.

I must include one final note: the "Graffiti" in the game's title refers to a special mode that allows you to check out images straight from episodes 2 and 3...

...and if you purchase DK&G before acquiring those episodes, you might want to hold off on viewing said images, as they contain lots of spoilers.