Rom Rom Stadium

~ ROM ROM STADIUM ~

NCS/Masaya

CD-ROM

1989

Rom Rom is plagued by problems that occur in many other old-school baseball games: there are way too many infield hits, as balls in play usually roll slowly and the players make very weak throws; the stupid computer-controlled infielders have the ridiculous tendency to throw to bases that are uncovered; and said infielders often chase slow ground balls into the outfield instead of just letting the outfielders charge and put an end to all the dashing about.

Again, these are issues that pop up in plenty of old baseball games, but Rom Rom sometimes takes them to extremes, leading to some really ridiculous happenings. Say the computer's first baseman and second baseman both go after a ground ball. The former picks it up and tosses it towards the first-base bag, where there's no one to catch it.

The throw sails right past the bag and bounces off the wall. The second baseman runs over and scoops up the ball while the first baseman runs towards the bag. The second baseman finally makes the throw to first, which somehow beats the runner there and produces an out. This absolutely absurd chain of events actually happens quite frequently.

Rom Rom's contests aren't particularly enjoyable even when such nonsense isn't going on. They play out in slow, dull fashion, unlike World Class Baseball's exhilarating arcade-style affairs. RR is a little more challenging than WCB, however: I've won my share of 7-1 blowouts, but there have been none of the 29-0 massacres that often occur when I power up WCB, and it's actually possible to experience games during which neither team scores many runs. (Take that with a grain of salt, though, as I've been playing WCB regularly for many years, while RR isn't interesting or enjoyable enough to receive much play time from me.)

In any event, Rom Rom is an okay-but-not-great game of baseball that doesn't come close to WCB. Here are some of the (mostly insignificant) things that separate RR from most other members of the old-school-baseball-game crowd:

- Pitch counts are shown, and working the count to wear down the opposing team's pitcher can really pay off in some of the tougher Pennant mode games.

- The action occasionally switches over to scenes of some strange girl watching the games on TV. She puts on various weird outfits and cheers you on or bemoans your lack of success. Sometimes, she dons a baseball uniform of her own and jumps up and down; other times, she hurls her cat through her television monitor in frustration.

- Win enough games in Pennant mode and you'll get to face the mighty Masaya team in "Meka Stadium," an abominable ballpark with ridiculously bright colors that make witnessing the action an excruciating experience. Obviously, I'm not too fond of this F-Zero-style depiction of baseball.

- I didn't mess with it at all, but there's a Team Edit mode where you apparently can create and save your own club. This is about the only somewhat-decent reason for the game being on CD.

Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water

~ NADIA ~

Hudson Soft

Super CD-ROM

1993

I'm not familiar with the anime or manga or whatever the hell this is based on, but it captured my attention right away with a scene where a girl is about to blow her own brains out. Unfortunately, some lame Captain Gloval wannabe slapped the pistol from her hands; and my hopes for gratuitous gore were dashed just like that.

From there on out, the story concentrates on a girl named Nadia and her group of pals as they stumble around an island and take on some weird mask-wearing villains who call themselves things like "Gargoyle" and "Goblin." Actually, for the most part, the spotlight is placed on Nadia's nerdy sidekick Jean and a turncoat blonde, with a disturbing youngster reminiscent of Robotech's Annie thrown in for good measure.

Graphically, this is one of the most impressive PCE digital comics. You can tell that a lot of effort went into these drawings, and the scenes are constantly switching up, so you won't find yourself in situations where you're staring at a single image as the characters babble on and on. There's also plenty of voice acting to accompany the impressive and ever-proceeding slide show. But the music, while effective in setting moods for most scenes, is forgettable.

Sadly, the story is just as forgettable as the soundtrack. There's plenty of buildup, but the conflict resolutions are almost always anticlimactic. I understand that the core material isn't supposed to deliver the kinds of thrills you can get from 3x3 Eyes or Snatcher, but I still would've liked more excitement. Ranma 1/2 2 provides great anime-style entertainment without resorting to anything particularly "mature" thematically. Nadia's plot twists are moderate and predictable, save perhaps for the emergence of a monstrous something-or-other that starts wrecking shit late in the game.

Still, the visuals do their best to save the day, and they do indeed make the game worth playing through. There are a couple of other minor caveats to note, though. You can save only at certain predetermined points, not whenever you want. This isn't a particularly big deal since the save breaks occur regularly enough and there aren't any Game Overs (that I experienced, at least), but still, it's nice to be able to walk away from a comic at any time. Also, while I got my copy nice and cheap, the game often seems to sell for about twenty bucks, which is a little high for a rather common (and unspectacular) comic.

Neutopia

~ NEUTOPIA ~

Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1990

This was no mere case of complimentary emulation or innocuous mimicking. With Neutopia, Hudson pulled off one of the most blatant and egregious acts of conceptual appropriation in the history of gaming. Of course, being that the patterned-after object is an undeniable classic and that the copycats did their work quite well, Turbo players have never felt any need to decry the remarkably conspicuous theft. I myself liked The Legend of Zelda a whole lot when I was a kid, so I certainly had no gripes with being served an additional helping of vast overworld and spooky labyrinths.

Well, after many, many years and a couple of recent playthroughs, I still like Neutopia, but my experiences with it back in the day were much more enjoyable, and I'm afraid I must presently downgrade it from "great" to merely "pleasant." Mechanically, this one-screen-at-a-time adventure game seems obsolete compared to Crystalis for the NES, let alone the many mighty action-RPGs that were eventually released for the Duo. There are very few true secrets and puzzles to speak of. Practically all of the "secret spots" are marked, and the "puzzles" largely consist of pushing every block in every room. It's still pretty fun to explore the environments and hack things up, especially since the graphics are quite nice and the controls are adequate (if rudimentary). However, when considering not only the superior 16-bit action-RPGs that were released subsequent to Neutopia's prime but also the mighty Alundra--which took basic ideas from Zelda and augmented them with an amazing story, brain-busting puzzles, and refined controls--well, Neutopia starts to seem a bit lacking.

Neutopia imitates Zelda well as far as basic gameplay aspects go, but it can't match the elements that make Zelda truly special. As primitive as it is, Zelda is incredibly atmospheric, thanks in large part to its eternally memorable soundtrack. Exploring its overworld feels like a grand, epic experience. Navigating its labyrinths is eerie and suspenseful. The enemies are interesting and oftentimes powerful. And playing it now produces a sweet bit of nostalgia thanks to those qualities. Neutopia, on the other hand, has never felt like anything more than a short, cartoony adventure. And now, there's no nostalgia. No atmosphere. No tunes that stay with me after I turn the game off. No brutal enemies that could stand up to the Darknuts of Zelda fame. Just decent, appealing questing.

I don't want to sound too negative; Neutopia is still fun, and there isn't a single moment during the adventure when I'm not enjoying myself to an extent. But sadly, the game simply hasn't aged all that well.

Exploring the overworld while battling cartoony fiends is a pleasant-enough activity...

...but uncovering the land's ill-concealed "secrets" isn't hard enough to be rewarding.

Similarly, circumventing the underworld's "defense systems" is seldom difficult.

When you're not avoiding (obvious) traps and pushing blocks, you'll be "brawling" with small Zelda-foe rip-offs.

Actually, Zelda gives you more neat stuff to mess around with.

And Ganon doesn't waste any time babbling in cliche.

I do give Neutopia credit for its cool cartoony bosses... though, like most other aspects of the game, they seemed larger and cooler back when I was a kid.

Zero Wing

~ ZERO WING ~

Toaplan / Naxat Soft

CD-ROM

1992

Being that we're dealing with the PC Engine version of Zero Wing, we needn't devote any time to redundant commentary on that "base are us" bullshit. So let's get right down to business.

Zero Wing is a pretty decent shooter. It grants you only three weapons, and all are typical shoot-'em-up-gun fare (red vulcan shots, blue lasers, green homing things), but all are pretty handy when powered up, and I doubt you'll ever yearn for additional artillery during play. As it is, there are spots where your life will be significantly easier if you possess a certain weapon, so experimentation with the set can prove rewarding. Enemies will send enough spread-shot swathes your way to keep your attention occupied. The collision detection is ever so slightly off (your hitbox extends the tiniest bit beyond the front and rear of your ship), but this is hardly a major problem. There really isn't anything egregiously wrong with the basic gameplay.

Sadly, there's nothing particularly interesting about it either. The gimmick employed by ZW is a Boss Galaga-style tractor beam that allows you to capture small enemies and hurl them at their allies. The technique isn't conceptually awful, but it doesn't end up being all that useful. Should you forget all about it, you can still get through the game unscathed. And it's hard to be impressed by this "suck 'em in and spit 'em out" method of harassing foes when 16-bit peer Gaiares actually allows you to rob bad guys of super-awesome armaments.

It's too bad, as this game could've used a successful gimmick. Despite decent gameplay, Zero Wing is dull at times due to visually boring stage and enemy designs. You get a lot of the typical, tired "space 'n base" stuff; some water here and red sky there is about as far as the visuals go as far as variety is concerned, and there are way too many stages (ten) for the game to be able to get away with such austere backgrounds. The cinemas, too, are displays of poor artistry, particularly when it comes to character designs. And while ZW's music is certainly not poor and has a flavor to it reminiscent of Hellfire S', none of the tunes are all that exciting or memorable.

These aren't the best cinemas you'll ever see in a Duo game. Going for drama is nice and all, but it doesn't work when the character art isn't up to par.

You can use your tractor beam to capture enemies, but the technique doesn't come in handy very often.

Holding a hostage will prove worth your while during the sixth boss battle, as you can use captives as shields to defend yourself from the big machine's bullets.

There's no shortage of enemies to blast, but when they look like these guys and appear in stages that look like this one, boredom sets in anyway.

Not that every stretch is simple and bland. The maze section of Stage 5 is anything but straightforward and contains some neat creatures, particularly the crawlers with the huge eyes.

Speaking of huge eyes, this mini-boss is one of the cooler enemies.

Actually, most of the mini-bosses come well equipped for battle...

...but it's the big fellas who really pack the major firepower.

The last guy comes at you hard. The energy spheres move fast, and they're not the only attack option he's got.

Iga Ninden Gaou

~ IGA NINDEN GAOU ~

Nichibutsu

Super CD-ROM

1993

I'm a big fan of hack-and-slash games in general, and this one looked decent enough in pics. Internet reviewer consensus is that it's merely average, but as long as an action-platformer is remotely playable, I can usually forgive it for being lackluster and get some enjoyment out of it. Unfortunately, Iga isn't just below average; it actually borders on being flat-out horrible.

Crappy controls constitute the main issue I have with it. The hero of the affair is slow and very stiff: simply turning around in the heat of battle can be a chore for him. Jumping also feels awful, as our champion can leap for great height but barely any distance at all. His repertoire of techniques is quite limited, confined to the usual hacks and projectile tosses along with a little bit of "ninja magic." It's not that I demand lots of moves and whatnot in an action title, but I expect more from a 16-bit-era game of this type; the same period brought us Shinobi III and Kaze Kiri, after all.

Not that you'll need any special attacks to get through the simple, boring stages. They demand little but straightforward hacking along with some basic platforming involving small pits here and moving platforms there. Not a shred of ingenuity came into play during the design of these stages; in fact, I myself didn't have to put thought into my actions at any point in the proceedings. The bosses are jokes, while the regular enemies are an uninspired lot: many take after old Castlevania creatures such as Medusa heads and fishmen, while others come off as meek Ninja Spirit rejects.

While they aren't very challenging, the levels do look fairly nice at times (due to smart choices in color, not top-notch drawing or cool concepts and effects). Unfortunately, most of them drag on for so long and are so repetitive that even the appealing background shades can't prevent players from losing interest. To break up the monotony, there are quite a few "break scenes," which I'm reluctant to call "cinemas." They aren't graphically impressive in the slightest, and as they play out, a third of the screen is usually occupied by text. Voice acting was clearly too much to ask for.

The music is quiet and forgettable, though I could see it holding greater appeal if placed in a stronger context. It certainly can't compare to Kaze Kiri's; in fact, the only thing Iga can boast of when pitted against KK is level design that isn't completely flat. Kaze dominates it in all other areas: controls, techniques, bosses, music, and cinemas. At its best, Iga is an uninspired, repetitive, easy platformer; at its worst, it's actually quite painful to play.