Shadow of the Beast

~ SHADOW OF THE BEAST ~

Victor Musical Industries / Psygnosis / TTI (US)

Super CD-ROM

1992

If you've read one article about TG-CD Shadow of the Beast, you've read them all. All speak of how Turbo Beast looks quite nice but can't quite compare with the mighty Amiga version and its billion layers of parallax. And all then forgive Turbo Beast its visual "shortcomings" because it's not only playable but also conquerable thanks to being the only rendition that features decent collision detection. Having segued into the positive elements, they then mention the best part, the incredible music that makes the game a must-have regardless of how one feels about it otherwise. Yep, any schmuck on the net can tell you that stuff.

Sad as it may be, I have even less to report than the typical schmuck. I've never played any other version of this sidescrolling quest game, and I don't have any desire to, so that fancy in-depth-comparison stuff is out of the question here. I can confirm that the graphics are quite nice, at least when you're outdoors, running across fields and graveyards; enter a cave or castle, and everything becomes flat and drab. I can also verify claims that the game is beatable, as I've given it a few sound thrashings (though not without taking some cheap lumps here and there). And the audio is indeed of extremely high quality, with a composition or two even proving memorable, though I've never felt compelled to listen to the tunes outside of playing the game.

So Turbo Beast sounds very nice, looks good, and plays decently enough. It does not offer drama or boss monsters of the same unforgettable sort as Shape Shifter's, nor does it have the playability or charisma of Dragon's Curse. But it's a cheap, competent member of an uncrowded genre, making it an easy title to recommend.

There are many different kinds of enemies, but most of them are simple sorts who either charge straight ahead or hop around pointlessly. Your punches seem rather weak, but they'll do for taking out most of these chumps.

There are a few tough monsters to deal with, however; and if the quick-and-wily types surround you, they can kill you very quickly.

The SotB world isn't very large, but there are plenty of passageways and corridors to explore. The emphasis is never really on puzzle solving; you just need to track down certain items before arriving at the obstacle or boss that requires you to use them.

Take your time while you're exploring. Dashing about recklessly will either land you in situations where you're terribly outnumbered or expose you to surprise hazards (such as these huge hands that pop out of the ground).

Forget about that patience stuff when you're dealing with bosses. Battles of attrition will end in your favor if you've got a decent amount of health left and the proper items in hand. Obviously, it's not a bad idea to duck sometimes.

The gameplay isn't all about running, punching, and turtling. You eventually find a gun, which fires shots that are much more powerful than the punch attack, and there's even a part where you fly around via jetpack.

Quick little cinemas are presented here and there. They're pretty goofy and don't contribute much to the experience, but the animation is very impressive.

Well, this is an interesting final confrontation. Avoid the rock and punch the toe.

The opening cinema was modified to fit into a small window for the US version. The full-screen imagery in the PCE game comes at a cost: the loading times are quite bad.

The ending, too, was changed up.

Tiger Road

~ TIGER ROAD ~

Victor Musical Industries / Capcom / NEC

HuCard

1990

A sidescrolling action-platformer that truly could've been excellent, Tiger Road is one of those unfortunate titles that have a lot going for them but are considered by most players to be mediocre (or poor) because of a few catastrophic flaws.

Let's cover the good stuff first. TR's graphics are cartoony but have a certain grittiness about them that you don't often find in light-shaded visuals. The music is uptempo and catchy. Main character Lee Wong controls pretty well (his leaping ability is particularly impressive). There are plenty of expansive stages to play through, some of which offer multiple routes and shortcuts to take. And if you have backup RAM, your progress will be saved every step of the way.

Now, the bad stuff. The collision detection is HORRIBLE. Legendarily bad. You can't ever actually count on your hacks to hit. Meanwhile, the very quick and constantly regenerating enemies can have field days batting you around and knocking you into pits.

There are "flying" stages here and there where you basically have to guide the hero through gauntlets of spikes, fireballs, and inflatable fat men. While it was commendable of the developers to strive to inject some variety into the game, these short strips don't amount to much of anything.

I must say that I do enjoy Tiger Road thanks to the positive elements it has going for it. Unfortunately, the aforementioned flaws will kill the title for some people. The collision detection will seem particularly awful the first few minutes you play; count on it. If you stick with the game, though, you might end up enjoying it.

Pac-Land

~ PAC-LAND ~

Namco / NEC

HuCard

1989

Well, this...

...isn't exactly what most people had in mind when they first heard about "16-bit power." Pac-Land was made fun of when it was released and is still made fun of today for its simplistic Flintstones-era graphics, but I don't mind them. They're, uh, "different," at least, and actually, they're probably the least of the game's problems. Terrible sound effects do more to turn me off from the title than do the cave-wall-drawing-esque visuals, and then there's the gameplay... oh, the horrid gameplay. Regardless of which of the two selectable control schemes you go with, you'll have a hell of a hard time managing slip-sliding Pac-Man and his uncurbable momentum; and in the face of many challenges that require carefully timed leaps, the rotund yellow bum is a horribly unreliable jumper. And this is no short stretch of pain: you get to endure the sound effects and fight with the controls through thirty-two incredibly repetitive stages. Enjoy.

More variety in level concepts might've helped. While a few parts have you "hover" over lakes or scramble for keys in simple "mazes," most of the stages are all about making annoying leaps and evading goofy ghosts; and the palette-swapped scenery doesn't help alleviate feelings of redundancy.

At least the fairy queen appreciates your efforts. She also sends you back home so you can embark on additional repetitious "trips."

These post-round "cinemas" don't amount to much as far as rewards go, but I suppose we should be thankful for what little we do get with this disaster. More of 'em would've been nice.

As awful as I'm sure it looks here, Round 27 actually uses parallax effects to create a rather attractive starry-night scene. Round 29 is another one to "look forward to," as you must make use of your flying foes in order to travel across a lake. So there you have it: the "good stuff."

Say farewell to this lot now. Don't buy the game.

Splatterhouse

~ SPLATTERHOUSE ~

Namco / NEC (US)

HuCard

1990

During the difficult days of the Turbo's pitiable existence, as the struggling console was being bought by no one and mocked by all (all who had actually heard of it, that is), the fools at NEC somehow managed to release a handful of titles that defied ridicule and commanded respect. Among the proud few that even haughty Genesis fans credited as "cool" were Ninja Spirit and, of course, Splatterhouse. In fact, it isn't all that uncommon today to hear folks who have long since dumped their Turbos speak of this horror-themed action-platformer as one of the very few reasons they'd bothered with the system at all. Stout Splatterhouse did indeed escape mass mockery, but it has taken some slight knocks for gameplay that people perhaps prejudged as slightly clunky due to the huge sprites the game employs.

Well, damn it all, I think Splatterhouse plays great, and I always have. Granted, it's not like people have been classifying it with the likes of Sword of Sodan and Rastan Saga II. But they also haven't given it credit for starring a protagonist who's quite proficient with weaponry and who moves along surprisingly quickly despite his big-guy stature. They also haven't hailed the efforts of the designers who produced segments involving very tricky leaps (usually over the likes of flaming logs, stream spikes, and creeping-hand cavities as opposed to the usual pit-fodder), the sorts of sections that would have players cursing in frustration if not for obstacle spacing so precise as to be perfect for the game's controls.

So I certainly don't agree with those who slight Splatter's gameplay; but to be honest, had the inclusion of such huge characters meant a few minor control hiccups, I probably would have accepted the tradeoff anyway. This isn't some goofball-vs.-goofball hacking exercise a la the aforementioned fantasy flops; it's about a burly tough-dude battling through a horror-house loaded with crazy, dangerous creatures, and if such a premise doesn't call for enormous everything, then I don't know what does.

It also calls for a great soundtrack, and the Splatter crew came through with eerie Twilight Zone-esque numbers for chills and frenetic tracks for when the insane goes down. Indeed, there's plenty of insanity to behold as you explore the game's mid-stages, which offer multiple paths for you to travel. Regardless of the route you take, Splatterhouse will prove itself to be an incredibly enjoyable action title.

Such gruesome entertainment! I'm even more amused by the splattered enemies and goo puddles now than I was back in junior high. The ragged pups just want to munch on ghoul remnants, but they'll come after you if you irritate them.

You'll run into a wide variety of fiends as you explore the game's numerous sub-stages. The underground sludge monsters know how to throw a punch, while the "Uh-oh Wizard" prefers to keep his distance and direct undead minions.

Though you can take a number of different paths through the game, some ghost lairs, including the "meat room" and the quaking Chamber of Enchanted Furniture, simply can't be avoided.

The title features a few truly unforgettable boss battles. The music goes crazy when the chainsaw guy shows up. And just look at the clawed monstrosity that Rick's girlfriend ends up being turned into. Defeating the creature...

...brings about unavoidable tragedy. Fucking awesome.

And don't think the fun ends there. Monster fetuses and a maggot-eaten final boss must be taken care of before Rick's work is done.

Incidentally, there are a few minor differences between the US and JPN versions of the game. Most are shown below (with the US shots on the left) and involve masks or crosses. There isn't much that needs to be said about 'em, really... except that an altar scene without an altar makes for a really awkward moment in the US version.