BoxyBoy

~ BOXYBOY ~

Media Rings / Thinking Rabbit / NEC

HuCard

1990

BoxyBoy grants you the opportunity to visit some of the world's greatest nations, like Egypt, Japan, and, uh, "SOUTHPOLE." Once you arrive in a particular country, you get to CHALLENGE it...

...which basically means you'll have to shove a bunch of boxes onto a bunch of dots.

And that's all there is to it. Some boards (not many) are easy; some are ridiculously difficult. Some are small, while others are so large that they comprise multiple screens. The game is somewhat helpful and forgiving: you can rewind your actions and bring up a faraway-view map screen to get a better idea of the big picture.

You may hammer away at these simple-in-concept puzzles for 250 rounds if you like. Sadly, unless this boxy brand of conundrum is really up your alley, you'll likely find the adventure too uninteresting and repetitive to stick with for more than just a couple dozen levels. Even if you enjoy other puzzlers that involve shoving shit around, chances are you won't find BB particularly appealing, as the ones you've already experienced probably do much better jobs of keeping players interested. Old Adventures of Lolo for NES basically boils down to pushing stuff, but it features a likable hero and plenty of hostile creatures for him to deal with (and even equips him with the means of putting those creatures to use in the puzzle solving). The Turbo's very own Tricky Kick isn't as complex as Lolo, but it succeeds thanks to cool level themes and appealing characters who have their own unique storylines that are relayed via opening and closing cinemas. To be fair, BoxyBoy does periodically present congratulatory cinematic screens...

...but we're hardly talking the sort of stuff that'll motivate a player to persevere through a multitude of tough levels. Now, if BoxyBoy were, like, my only TurboGrafx game, I suppose I could see myself spending hours and hours on its most challenging boards and eventually developing a fondness for the title. Solving a hellish room layout does feel awfully good...

...but maybe that awesome feeling is really just attributable to relief. And for some reason I doubt that there are many people in that unenviable BB-only position, so few will have reason to play the game for very long, as the system's library offers so many more-attractive alternatives. Like Gate of Thunder. Or Rondo of Blood. Or Tricky Kick.

Exile

~ EXILE ~

Renovation / Telenet / Working Designs (US)

CD-ROM

1992 (JPN: 1991)

Exile is a decent action-RPG; it might even look like a good one from afar. After all, it does feature a badass protagonist in the callous assassin Sadler...

...and many of the monsters he slays during the game's sidescrolling action sequences look pretty darn cool.

The music is very good, and the story is fairly interesting, so even the overhead-view "talk to people" scenes are often entertaining.

Unfortunately, the game is extremely short and ridiculously easy. None of the bosses came even remotely close to doing significant damage to me. I never used any items, nor did I cast any spells except for Warp to save myself some travel time (in the Japanese version, that is; Working Designs chose to leave that particular incantation out of the US game). In light of the lack of challenge, I guess it's a blessing that the journey is a brief one; during the final stretch, I just wanted the whole thing to end. Since I knew I wasn't going to face any sort of challenge and the designers didn't provide anything particularly interesting in the way of level designs or puzzles, it all started to seem rather pointless. Vic Ireland and company did buff up the monsters for the US release, but not to the absurd Wicked Phenomenon extent, and the poor creatures still can't put up much of a fight.

The only real difference WD's "efforts" made is that some of the still-easy bosses take a lot longer to kill (especially the last fool).

If you don't think you'll mind the ridiculously low level of difficulty, then you'll likely find that Exile plays well enough, but it's certainly not in the same league as some other titles that take similar approaches, like The Legend of Xanadu and Blood Gear.

Shadow of the Beast

~ SHADOW OF THE BEAST ~

Victor Musical Industries / Psygnosis / TTI (US)

Super CD-ROM

1992

If you've read one article about TG-CD Shadow of the Beast, you've read them all. All speak of how Turbo Beast looks quite nice but can't quite compare with the mighty Amiga version and its billion layers of parallax. And all then forgive Turbo Beast its visual "shortcomings" because it's not only playable but also conquerable thanks to being the only rendition that features decent collision detection. Having segued into the positive elements, they then mention the best part, the incredible music that makes the game a must-have regardless of how one feels about it otherwise. Yep, any schmuck on the net can tell you that stuff.

Sad as it may be, I have even less to report than the typical schmuck. I've never played any other version of this sidescrolling quest game, and I don't have any desire to, so that fancy in-depth-comparison stuff is out of the question here. I can confirm that the graphics are quite nice, at least when you're outdoors, running across fields and graveyards; enter a cave or castle, and everything becomes flat and drab. I can also verify claims that the game is beatable, as I've given it a few sound thrashings (though not without taking some cheap lumps here and there). And the audio is indeed of extremely high quality, with a composition or two even proving memorable, though I've never felt compelled to listen to the tunes outside of playing the game.

So Turbo Beast sounds very nice, looks good, and plays decently enough. It does not offer drama or boss monsters of the same unforgettable sort as Shape Shifter's, nor does it have the playability or charisma of Dragon's Curse. But it's a cheap, competent member of an uncrowded genre, making it an easy title to recommend.

There are many different kinds of enemies, but most of them are simple sorts who either charge straight ahead or hop around pointlessly. Your punches seem rather weak, but they'll do for taking out most of these chumps.

There are a few tough monsters to deal with, however; and if the quick-and-wily types surround you, they can kill you very quickly.

The SotB world isn't very large, but there are plenty of passageways and corridors to explore. The emphasis is never really on puzzle solving; you just need to track down certain items before arriving at the obstacle or boss that requires you to use them.

Take your time while you're exploring. Dashing about recklessly will either land you in situations where you're terribly outnumbered or expose you to surprise hazards (such as these huge hands that pop out of the ground).

Forget about that patience stuff when you're dealing with bosses. Battles of attrition will end in your favor if you've got a decent amount of health left and the proper items in hand. Obviously, it's not a bad idea to duck sometimes.

The gameplay isn't all about running, punching, and turtling. You eventually find a gun, which fires shots that are much more powerful than the punch attack, and there's even a part where you fly around via jetpack.

Quick little cinemas are presented here and there. They're pretty goofy and don't contribute much to the experience, but the animation is very impressive.

Well, this is an interesting final confrontation. Avoid the rock and punch the toe.

The opening cinema was modified to fit into a small window for the US version. The full-screen imagery in the PCE game comes at a cost: the loading times are quite bad.

The ending, too, was changed up.

Tiger Road

~ TIGER ROAD ~

Victor Musical Industries / Capcom / NEC

HuCard

1990

A sidescrolling action-platformer that truly could've been excellent, Tiger Road is one of those unfortunate titles that have a lot going for them but are considered by most players to be mediocre (or poor) because of a few catastrophic flaws.

Let's cover the good stuff first. TR's graphics are cartoony but have a certain grittiness about them that you don't often find in light-shaded visuals. The music is uptempo and catchy. Main character Lee Wong controls pretty well (his leaping ability is particularly impressive). There are plenty of expansive stages to play through, some of which offer multiple routes and shortcuts to take. And if you have backup RAM, your progress will be saved every step of the way.

Now, the bad stuff. The collision detection is HORRIBLE. Legendarily bad. You can't ever actually count on your hacks to hit. Meanwhile, the very quick and constantly regenerating enemies can have field days batting you around and knocking you into pits.

There are "flying" stages here and there where you basically have to guide the hero through gauntlets of spikes, fireballs, and inflatable fat men. While it was commendable of the developers to strive to inject some variety into the game, these short strips don't amount to much of anything.

I must say that I do enjoy Tiger Road thanks to the positive elements it has going for it. Unfortunately, the aforementioned flaws will kill the title for some people. The collision detection will seem particularly awful the first few minutes you play; count on it. If you stick with the game, though, you might end up enjoying it.

Pac-Land

~ PAC-LAND ~

Namco / NEC

HuCard

1989

Well, this...

...isn't exactly what most people had in mind when they first heard about "16-bit power." Pac-Land was made fun of when it was released and is still made fun of today for its simplistic Flintstones-era graphics, but I don't mind them. They're, uh, "different," at least, and actually, they're probably the least of the game's problems. Terrible sound effects do more to turn me off from the title than do the cave-wall-drawing-esque visuals, and then there's the gameplay... oh, the horrid gameplay. Regardless of which of the two selectable control schemes you go with, you'll have a hell of a hard time managing slip-sliding Pac-Man and his uncurbable momentum; and in the face of many challenges that require carefully timed leaps, the rotund yellow bum is a horribly unreliable jumper. And this is no short stretch of pain: you get to endure the sound effects and fight with the controls through thirty-two incredibly repetitive stages. Enjoy.

More variety in level concepts might've helped. While a few parts have you "hover" over lakes or scramble for keys in simple "mazes," most of the stages are all about making annoying leaps and evading goofy ghosts; and the palette-swapped scenery doesn't help alleviate feelings of redundancy.

At least the fairy queen appreciates your efforts. She also sends you back home so you can embark on additional repetitious "trips."

These post-round "cinemas" don't amount to much as far as rewards go, but I suppose we should be thankful for what little we do get with this disaster. More of 'em would've been nice.

As awful as I'm sure it looks here, Round 27 actually uses parallax effects to create a rather attractive starry-night scene. Round 29 is another one to "look forward to," as you must make use of your flying foes in order to travel across a lake. So there you have it: the "good stuff."

Say farewell to this lot now. Don't buy the game.