Bonk's Adventure

~ BONK'S ADVENTURE ~

Hudson Soft / Atlus / Red

HuCard

1990

Although I'm not a fan of "mascot platformers" in general, I've always found Bonk's Adventure to be extremely enjoyable. It's a very likable and endearing game that features a charismatic and infectiously gleeful protagonist, a colorful enemy cast (the giant-dino bosses are particularly memorable), a cute ending, and neat visual elements. And I must mention that its soundtrack is one of the Turbo's finest.

I turn the game on from time to time expecting to play only a level or so--just enough to experience a good bit of nostalgia. I always end up immersed in the headbutt-administering caveman's amusing endeavors and wind up playing through the entire adventure. It's really nice when you revisit an old game and that sort of thing happens.

The eggshell-capped fellows are the low-ranking wretches of King Drool's army, but there's no question that they could slaughter any "Little Goomba"-type fodder-fool. One of the Bonk series's greatest strengths is its lineup of bad-guy dinosaurs, who are so much more fun to fight than Mario's mushrooms-and-turtles contingent or Sonic's "woodland robots."

The coolest villain of all is the awesome T. Ractorhead. Even Bonk seems happy to see him.

Most of the bosses are extremely vulnerable to noggin spin-slams. I'll still take 'em any day over the boring Bowser clan or Robotnik's stupid contraptions.

Kongo Zilla can fight pretty well, but he eventually softens up.

The best thing about the end-round battles is the dramatic tune that accompanies the combat; it ranks among the greatest boss tracks ever if you ask me. It can also be heard during the brief, action-packed, Triceratops-and-Pterodactyl-dominated fourth stage. Bonk doesn't seem to be coping with the intensity very well in this screen.

One thing he can handle well is swimming. The controls feel great whether you're underwater or under... whatever that orange stuff is.

Bonk is also a proficient climber. Being that these are prehistoric times, crazy ideas like using your hands and feet for climbing hadn't been invented yet, so clever Bonk uses his teeth.

There actually aren't all that many stretches that call for you to swim or climb. In fact, you can spin-jump your way right through many of the mostly linear levels. Even the more-restrictive zone constructions fail to meet the stage-design standards later set by Bonk's Revenge. But at least the action remains fast and fun here, while many similar titles slow everything down for the sake of including dull moving-platform sequences and the like.

BA isn't amazing graphically, but its backgrounds occasionally feature some very appealing visual embellishments, such as the enormous moon up in the sky in the screen on the left. And a number of levels are quite neat thematically; who needs "donut plains" and "marble zones" when we can explore dino innards?

Do make sure to explore each stage thoroughly, as you can stumble upon lots of secret entryways...

...most of which lead to bonus rounds or rooms full of goodies.

The best goody of all is meat. Upon nabbing a piece, Bonk blows his top and becomes super strong, eager to steamroll all who stand in his way.

Aw.

Schbibin Man 3

~ SCHBIBIN MAN 3 ~

NCS/Masaya

CD-ROM

1992

It isn't often that a line of games is given until its third episode to achieve greatness. Most companies are more than happy to put an engine to sleep following a single unimpressive outing--a repeat performance typically signals certain death, usually displaying prudence on the part of the executioners. The first two Schbibin Man games hardly made marks on the world, but NCS/Masaya stuck to their guns and finally unleashed brilliance in the form of the sidescrolling torpedo Schbibin Man 3, an insanely fast-paced hack-and-slash platformer propelled by adrenaline-pumping senses of urgency and sheer madness. Dash through futuristic metropolises and penetrate enormous airships; shatter crystal monsters and annihilate faceless flame-throwing magicians. There are no level breaks here; it's just one crazy scenario after another--a "parade of insanity," as my impressed cousin Zigfriederov once called the procession.

One minute you're commandeering a mecha and blasting your way through a city, the next you're riding a strange beast in outer space as a huge red dragon pursues you.

Hop onto floating platforms and fight off circling cannons until a group of gargoyles wrecks your ride and sends you plummeting to the land of killer snowmen!

You won't ever know what to expect here. Plus, the graphics are remarkably good, the red book soundtrack is incredibly dynamic, and the cinemas are wonderfully dramatic.

Sadly, copious strength restorers and the blazing baubles our heroes unleash make Schbibin Man 3 one of the easiest 16-bit platformers available--much easier than even Shinobi III, which is usually viewed as the poster child for games with a forgivable lack of challenge. The difficulty can be boosted a notch, but the difference is hardly noticeable. It's not as if the elements necessary for a challenging experience weren't all in place; some enemies are capable of attacking you in plenty of different ways. But a simple trade-off of shots will take care of most bosses, as they never approach relentlessness with their attack strategies.

Still, Schbibin Man 3 is very memorable. Unlike, say, Chiki Chiki Boys, it's not the sort of super-easy game that you forget about a day after beating it. The events and tunes in SM3 have stuck with me; and back when I first bought it, I played through it lots of times before moving on. It's one of the PC Engine's must-own action titles, without question.

Drop Off

~ DROP OFF ~

Data East / NEC

HuCard

1990

I've always hated Breakout and most of its many imitators. The only title along those lines I'd ever enjoyed was an ancient LCD handheld game called Spitball Sparky, which stars a likable Q*bert-like character and plays better than its "paddle"-featuring peers. Of course, I haven't had the pleasure of giving SS a go since I was about seven years old; if it's actually crap and my memories are horribly distorted by nostalgia, well, I'm none the wiser. And this didn't bode well for Drop Off: I'm inclined to despise its ilk to begin with, and there wasn't any chance it could compete with the masterpiece that I recall Spitball Sparky being. With things looking grim, DO actually brought a quick smile to my face with its opening cinematics, which can boast of very cool music accompanying very goofy text that relays a "go inside a mind" plot reminiscent of Psychosis'.

The weaving of this intriguing tale continues with melodramatic text-based intermissions. It's funny... the original PCE version features mangled English during these scenes, so whoever localized the title decided to fix that... but still came up with gibberish.

The story-related stuff is certainly entertaining, but then there's the game itself. Well, let's try to cover this quickly. You control a blue thing and destroy objects with a ball. You can "open up" your blue thing to deflect the ball at sharper angles. There are plenty of different objects to obliterate, including apples, crystals, eyeballs, and amoebas. If you hit the right spot in a chain and break off a bunch of objects at once, you're rewarded with bonus points. The "interesting" thing is that the chains of objects gradually descend. This is no Space Invaders; you don't have to annihilate every link to finish a round. You just have to hang in there until the chains have fully descended. But if an object touches your blue thing, you die. And if the ball bashes its way through the floor, you die. You can repel the chains a limited number of times to create a little breathing room, and a steamroller-type thing occasionally shows up to perform floor repair.

That's about all there is to the affair, aside from the occasional instance of silliness.

Drop Off is not excellent. It's not based on a wonderful concept, and it isn't executed particularly well. In fact, it's often said to be a disaster. Well, even though I was predisposed to hate it, I really can't say that I do. It gets kind of intense, I suppose, when objects come down and crowd the deflector. The nice music makes me want to like the game, as does the amusing story. I came in expecting about a billion levels, but there are only sixteen, which is just fine. And DO does have something that even Spitball Sparky doesn't: a final boss.

Cyber Core

~ CYBER CORE ~

IGS

HuCard

1990

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that this extremely entertaining insect-centric shooter is often compared to the wretched clunker Dragon Spirit. The respective control setups are similar, as each grants you a main weapon with which you can take out aerial foes and "bombs" so that you can deal with enemies on the ground, but that's where the similarities end. Cyber Core is faster and offers much more action than Namco's title; it really is one of the "busiest" chip shooters, while crappy DS simply plods along. Delightful, upbeat melodies and a lovable cast of big-bosses and mini-bosses contribute to CC's irresistible charm. Veteran players will have little trouble beating the game, but its fast-paced action gives it good replay value.

It's unfortunate that most of the backgrounds aren't very appealing, but CC thrives on speed and onscreen activity, so its visual shortcomings are hardly devastating.

Most of the midbosses actually do look pretty cool, and they're lots of fun to fight, especially the enormous mosquito who wields a mighty sword of a proboscis and the gargantuan moth who plops himself onto the playfield.

Some of the bosses really make you work. You'll have to sneak through a barrage of projectiles and smaller vermin to make precise bomb strikes on the massive spider. The final boss, on the other hand, gives up after taking just a few seconds' worth of direct hits from powered-up weaponry.

Speaking of weaponry, four different devastators are at your disposal and can be strengthened to remarkable extremes (if you're willing to accept an expanded hitbox). If you power up the mighty blue "pinwheel," you'll find yourself flying freely for most of the adventure. The defense-oriented green shot had the most promise, as it unleashes sickles capable of eliminating any sort of enemy-emitted projectile, but CC gives us little reason to play with a conservative game plan.

Look down at Stage 2's desecrated city to see a line of funny little beetles scampering down the road. The game employs more-serious enemy designs later on.

It isn't until the very last level that it gets at all challenging, though. Those small blue pests are incredibly fast and actually pose more of a threat than do their daunting one-eyed allies.

If you’re an experienced shooter player, you'll reach the end of Cyber Core quickly and with a healthy number of lives in tow. The game doesn’t feel easy while you’re actually playing it, though, as it gives you plenty of insects and bullets to be concerned with. Perhaps you'll finish it the first time you power it up, but you’ll probably return to it the very next day... and have yourself a blast once again.