Youkai Douchuuki

~ YOUKAI DOUCHUUKI ~

Namco

HuCard

1988

This is one game that really shows its age. Remember that really old guy in the wheelchair in Big Trouble in Little China, the dude who had been cursed to walk the earth for all eternity or whatever? Well, this is the "really old guy in Big Trouble in Little China" of HuCards. It's absolutely ancient.

Not that I necessarily mind antiquated visuals. Mystical Fighter for the Genesis is a personal favorite of mine. But Youkai asks a lot here. It's a sidescrolling platformer that not only looks terribly primitive (especially since its playfield is scrunched down to accommodate a "map" at the top of the screen) but also fails to play well. At least it offers a handful of levels that give you multiple paths to take and objectives to complete, not to mention a few different ending scenes. And it's dirt cheap--except, of course, for the gold version, which only a complete nut would be looking to acquire.

There's something weird about the game that you might want to note. My copy didn't work when I tried it on my Duo-R, but when I gave it a go on my SuperGrafx, it worked just fine. My brother Alexei had similar issues with his own copy, which didn't work on his Kisado-equipped US systems or even on his SGX. It wasn't until he tried it on his GT that he realized it was in "working" condition. Now, I haven't heard any other reports of such problems, but that's probably because Alexei and I are the only ones who actually play stuff like this. Anyway, Youkai's apparent aversion to certain units is very weird.

And that's not the only thing that's weird about the game...

You run into a hell of a lot of weird demon-folk during your quest. The gameplay is standard run-and-pelt stuff, but the characters are anything but normal. I've always found the "hero" to be the freakiest-looking one.

Simple platforming sequences can be difficult because said hero slips around a lot and doesn't jump very well.

A boss fight! Pray, little dude, pray. You take control of a spirit fighter as the odd-looking fellow supplicates.

Save up cash so that you can acquire health restorers and power up your shot. Don't spend too much money in the shops, though; you'll need some dough to hitch a ride on the big turtle.

Said turtle introduces you to this nice, sweet princess... who puts on a strip show. Catch what you can while the spotlights zip around the screen.

After the show, the princess gives you a box. It might contain a lot of money. It also might explode in your face and transform you into an old dude.

Before you can complete the game, you have to answer a few questions thrown at you by this guy. You do know Japanese, right?

The ending you get is determined by the number of enemies you kill and the number of points you earn during the final level. "Zero" is a great number.

Tsuru Teruhito no Jissen Kabushiki Bai Game

~ TSURU [...] GAME ~

Intec

HuCard

1989

Let's call it "Tsuru."

You won't find many other PCE games like Tsuru, as its "action" consists of buying and selling stocks. Analyze market trends, acquire the right shares at the right times, and get out while the going's good.

Given its premise and the fact that it immediately bombards the player with Japanese text, Tsuru might seem inaccessible to a lot of people at first. It's actually quite easy to figure out, though, as it just doesn't give you all that many options, and you won't need knowledge of Japanese to observe the rise and fall of your capital and tell the positive "jingles" apart from the negative ones.

As far as incentive goes, well, you do get new girls to make phone calls for you as you ascend through the business world.

Obviously, not many folks are going to be interested in Tsuru. I don't hate the game at all, but I don't exactly think it's incredible either. I clicked my way through it and found that there is little reward to reap from it.

Bonk's Revenge

~ BONK'S REVENGE ~

Hudson Soft / Red

HuCard

1991

Bonk's Revenge is highly reminiscent of its excellent predecessor in many surface-level regards, but being that the formerly smooth play system suddenly finds itself plagued by clunkiness, I've never been a big fan of the title. Still, whenever I power it up, I'm immediately struck by how appealing its cartoony graphics are. Bonk's Adventure is nice looking and colorful, but Revenge reaches an entirely different tier with its visuals. The difference in graphical quality is vast despite many of the games' respective stage themes and cast members being quite similar to one another.

Strip design also took a huge step forward. There are secrets to uncover all over the place along with great ideas at work in enemy placement and level structuring.

You can scour the stages to find entryways to bonus rounds, most of which are enjoyable, and as my brother Duomitri can tell you, it's lots of fun to see how many of the scattered-about smiley faces you can collect. The train-ride-based bonus scenes that the stages conclude with are also very cool.

The soundtrack is as good as you'd expect it to be, being that many of its tunes were borrowed from Adventure (although most of its original material is also quality stuff).

My only major complaint is that a brief delay takes place during each spin of Bonk's spin jump, which makes for choppy gameplay. There are two typical counters to this gripe:

1) The delay adds to the challenge.

Well, I always beat the game with lots of lives left no matter how terribly out of practice I am. It isn't challenging even with the delay.

2) The delay prevents people from leaping into the air and cannonballing their way through stages, as was possible in many levels of the first Bonk game.

Well, the level design is strong enough here to minimize that sort of tomfoolery anyway, and there's so much more incentive to explore this time.

It could be said that the boss battles are a little more interesting in Revenge because you can't just bounce around atop your adversaries' heads like you can in Adventure. This is a fairly minor point since the game's strengths lie in level design and aesthetic appeal rather than in strategic battling, so I still wish I could have the old spin back.

Speaking of the bosses, another (relatively minor) complaint I have is that the last battle is quite anticlimactic. Some of the earlier encounters are interesting, if not particularly difficult to emerge victorious from...

...but the last couple of bosses are bums.

I do enjoy Revenge more now than I did in years past, even though the spin delay still irks me. I guess I'm more patient these days, so I appreciate things like the level design and smiley scavenger hunts a lot more. I still find Adventure to be much more enjoyable, though.

Bonk's Adventure

~ BONK'S ADVENTURE ~

Hudson Soft / Atlus / Red

HuCard

1990

Although I'm not a fan of "mascot platformers" in general, I've always found Bonk's Adventure to be extremely enjoyable. It's a very likable and endearing game that features a charismatic and infectiously gleeful protagonist, a colorful enemy cast (the giant-dino bosses are particularly memorable), a cute ending, and neat visual elements. And I must mention that its soundtrack is one of the Turbo's finest.

I turn the game on from time to time expecting to play only a level or so--just enough to experience a good bit of nostalgia. I always end up immersed in the headbutt-administering caveman's amusing endeavors and wind up playing through the entire adventure. It's really nice when you revisit an old game and that sort of thing happens.

The eggshell-capped fellows are the low-ranking wretches of King Drool's army, but there's no question that they could slaughter any "Little Goomba"-type fodder-fool. One of the Bonk series's greatest strengths is its lineup of bad-guy dinosaurs, who are so much more fun to fight than Mario's mushrooms-and-turtles contingent or Sonic's "woodland robots."

The coolest villain of all is the awesome T. Ractorhead. Even Bonk seems happy to see him.

Most of the bosses are extremely vulnerable to noggin spin-slams. I'll still take 'em any day over the boring Bowser clan or Robotnik's stupid contraptions.

Kongo Zilla can fight pretty well, but he eventually softens up.

The best thing about the end-round battles is the dramatic tune that accompanies the combat; it ranks among the greatest boss tracks ever if you ask me. It can also be heard during the brief, action-packed, Triceratops-and-Pterodactyl-dominated fourth stage. Bonk doesn't seem to be coping with the intensity very well in this screen.

One thing he can handle well is swimming. The controls feel great whether you're underwater or under... whatever that orange stuff is.

Bonk is also a proficient climber. Being that these are prehistoric times, crazy ideas like using your hands and feet for climbing hadn't been invented yet, so clever Bonk uses his teeth.

There actually aren't all that many stretches that call for you to swim or climb. In fact, you can spin-jump your way right through many of the mostly linear levels. Even the more-restrictive zone constructions fail to meet the stage-design standards later set by Bonk's Revenge. But at least the action remains fast and fun here, while many similar titles slow everything down for the sake of including dull moving-platform sequences and the like.

BA isn't amazing graphically, but its backgrounds occasionally feature some very appealing visual embellishments, such as the enormous moon up in the sky in the screen on the left. And a number of levels are quite neat thematically; who needs "donut plains" and "marble zones" when we can explore dino innards?

Do make sure to explore each stage thoroughly, as you can stumble upon lots of secret entryways...

...most of which lead to bonus rounds or rooms full of goodies.

The best goody of all is meat. Upon nabbing a piece, Bonk blows his top and becomes super strong, eager to steamroll all who stand in his way.

Aw.