Moto Roader II

~ MOTO ROADER II ~

NCS/Masaya

HuCard

1991

Faster from the start and offering many more options and much more variety in general, Moto Roader II immediately comes off as an obvious upgrade over its excellent predecessor.

The first cool new element you're likely to notice here is that you have a choice to make regarding the type of vehicle you'll be using. No longer relegated to traditional race cars, MR2 players can opt to pilot tanks or hovercraft instead. I must say that I still prefer the speedy little autos to the bulky war machines and wafty hovers in most situations, but the presence of these new entities means you have a wider variety of opposing vehicles to concern yourself with. And since each type can be built up numerous times and in varying ways, you're bound to run into lots of different contraptions out on the tracks.

The courses themselves are no longer enclosed by typical green-field-type areas. Now you can tour volcanic regions, ice zones, cities, and savannahs.

There are plenty of new hazards about, including boulders that come rumbling across the road and birds, helicopters, and UFOs that assail you from above.

The overall improvement is clear as day, yet I hesitate to say that I rank MR2 above its predecessor. The original has better music (not to say that the tunes in 2 aren't very good), and for some reason I view it as being slightly more enjoyable (likely because its incredibly high fun factor took me by complete surprise, whereas I expected excellence from 2). Surely, most players will view the sequel as the superior episode. Regardless, this is one of those situations where buying both is undoubtedly the best course of action. They both rule.

Moto Roader

~ MOTO ROADER ~

NCS/Masaya

HuCard

1989

Moto Roader immediately reminded me of Legend of Dekoboko, another "car combat" game that insists on having all five racers onscreen at all times and smacks the bottom feeders forward when they fall too far behind. The memories of Dekoboko caused me much stress and vexation, as I did not enjoy that game. But I soon discovered that MR is a far cry from the debacle that is LoD.

Instead of walloping you with the edge of the screen and causing spin-out chains like Dekoboko does when you're trailing, MR simply gives you an oftentimes helpful little nudge that can be implemented tactically if you're willing to take some chances. And MR knows what it is; it knows what makes itself tick. Dekoboko is a failed attempt at cuteness: it tries so hard to incorporate "wacky" elements that it ends up being a slow, annoying obstacle-course run. MR, on the other hand, concentrates on providing simple, fast-paced fun.

You'll probably find that it delivers plenty of smile-evoking moments, like when you make a big jump and see your auto bouncing on the pavement and speeding on ahead of the pack, or when you avoid a slick spot that trips up all of your opponents, or when you pull off a last-second miracle at the finish line thanks to some crazy mishap that befalls the other drivers.

Also, the snazzy soundtrack is surprisingly good. Props to Goblin Sound!

I've read complaints about the one-player mode, and most of them involve the "high" level of difficulty, which the gripers attribute to the car being "too slow" at first. I don't know what the hell these people were expecting at the beginning of a game with purchasable upgrades--a speedster right off the bat? Heck, MR even gives you enough money so that you can upgrade your engine immediately if you want to, so I'd say it's more than fair in this regard.

I've also heard some gripes about the controls, which are indeed different from those in most racers, but spend an afternoon with the game and you'll have them mastered if you're competent.

So do buy MR if you aren't a bumbling fool. But bear in mind that there are actually some differences between the US version and its Japanese counterpart. For one thing, to access different courses in the JPN game, you have to input various button combinations at the title screen, whereas the US rendition presents them all on a convenient menu, no codes required.

The US chip also features extra background art during the pre-heat and trophy scenes along with a different chick (though, unfortunately, neither one of these girls is particularly pleasant to look at).

Both cards contain more than just a single ending image that you can view, though you do see only one each time you play through the game, and the one you end up with seems like a totally random thing.

One last difference to note is that the US version fails to give special thanks to SCHBIBIN MAN in its end credits. For shame.

Image Fight

~ IMAGE FIGHT ~

Irem

HuCard

1990

What I ended up getting with this vertical shooter in regard to action style was actually quite a bit different from what I'd anticipated. I'd read numerous articles that compared the game to R-Type, so I was expecting it to be relatively slow and methodical. But it really isn't like that at all.

Image Fight isn't Spriggan-fast, but it certainly doesn't plod along in the manner I'd expect from a shooter often classified with R-Type. For its first four stages, it feels somewhat like a Star Soldier game that grants the player nifty red pods to control (more on these in a moment). The "organic" fifth stage does remind me of R-Type with its large snake-type creatures, but throughout the early and middle stretches of the affair, reflexes take priority over memorization. It isn't until the last three boards that knowing the level layouts and strategizing for enemy patterns and vulnerabilities really become key. Even then, progress plays out more like it does in the excellent Sinistron, where you hammer away at segment after segment as you gradually make it further and become more comfortable, than it does in R-Type, where a little memorization allows you to charge through the first six levels as if there's no opposing army at all.

The red pods I alluded to earlier are Image Fight's hook. You can grab standard blue options that simply flank your ship and shoot straight ahead, but the red guys are much more interesting. You control their bullet streams by flying in the direction contrary to where you want them to fire. There are similar armaments in a number of other shooters, but few of them are as integral a component in their respective games as the red pods are here. You must not only master the direction-based firing but also consider ways to utilize the pods defensively.

Indeed, most of the later boss fights are all about ship positioning and pod placement. The early-level skirmishes are no cakewalks either, however. All of the bosses are cunning and can really make you panic with their attacks; and of course, panicking is the worst thing to do. The enemy leader in Stage 3 shoots long, shot-blocking lasers that crisscross the screen; if you decide to run around like a chicken with its head cut off, you won't stand a chance.

Oddly enough, your final opponent can be destroyed incredibly easily if you simply determine what the best weapon is to bring to the fight.

The bosses, as well as the regular enemies, look quite cool, but the level graphics are ho-hum at best. It's not that anything's particularly ugly about 'em, but there's nothing really eye catching about any of the environments, from the forest to the bases.

The music is nice, though, particularly the surprisingly soft numbers, and there's a cool Ninja Spirit-style sound test.

One more thing I must mention is the penalty zone, an extremely difficult area that serves as your punishment if you fail to obliterate a significant chunk of the enemy legion during the regular levels. I'd never been there until I swallowed my pride and missed shots intentionally so that my hit percentages would plunge below the border, so it's a fate you shouldn't have to work very hard to avoid. If you're wondering if it's worth taking pains to visit the zone just for the experience, well, I sure as hell don't think so, and there's practically no reward for overcoming the extreme difficulty and making it out of there alive.

Cardangels

~ CARDANGELS ~

Fujicom

Super CD-ROM

1994

Cardangels has you take on a troop of anime girls in four different card games: blackjack, poker, speed, and babanuki.

Blackjack and poker are... well, blackjack and poker, with no real surprises held therein (except for the fact that the computer makes some extraordinarily dopey decisions in blackjack). Speed can be the most enjoyable of the four, as it actually allows you to stay active instead of having you sit there staring at a hand, but it can also be frustrating: you'll have to fiddle around with the I, II, and Run buttons just to plop your cards onto the correct piles, while your adversaries can toss their own cards out incredibly quickly; and once the computer gets on a roll, there's pretty much no stopping it. An unfair round of speed is still preferable to any sort of experience with babanuki, however, as the latter has you and your opponent blindly, tediously picking cards from each other's hand, with both sides simply hoping to avoid the joker.

Once you've defeated a given girl... SURPRISE! She undresses for you!

I bet you didn't see that coming.

As predictably perverted as Cardangels is, it's still a high-quality product. Its artwork is nice, its music is listenable, and it offers up forty-five girls to play against, meaning you probably won't finish it off all that quickly. I must mention that while you earn points for your wins, you never actually make any bets, so the "thrill" that comes with placing a huge wager in most casino-type games is nowhere to be found here. That's all right with me, though: girls over gambling anytime, I say.

Mahjong Sword: Princess Quest Gaiden

~ MAHJONG SWORD ~

Naxat Soft / Tomboy

Super CD-ROM / Arcade CD-ROM

1995

When I finally decided to learn how to play mahjong, I felt as if a whole new wing of the PC Engine library had become accessible to me. My initial choices were limited, though, as Mahjong Sword was the only mahjong title I owned at the time. I'd bought it mainly for its cool art and perceived rarity, but never being one to let a PCE game go unplayed, I decided to go ahead and learn the ins and outs of mahjong itself. The going was a little tough at first while I was still picking up on the mahjong basics, but before long, I was tearing right through my opponents...

...and tearing right through their clothing as well.

Yep, this is an "adult-targeted" game featuring scantily "armored," mahjong-proficient warrior-women.

The victor in a match utilizes her mighty weapons/powers/creature-buddies to unleash a massive attack on the poor loser. Of course, said loser's clothing suffers all the damage, ultimately leaving the whimpering anime girl in a near-nude state. Don't get too excited though, fellows: Mahjong Sword is not a very naughty or revealing game, and even a mild affair like Dragon Knight II shows a little more than what you'll get here.

But hey, it was enough of a hook for me, though the fun of the mahjong itself is what was really keeping me up super-late at night. The quest elements helped a bit too. You encounter the mahjong amazons as you jaunt about a small world map. Money is earned with each victory and can be spent on items for use mid-match.

The match gameplay is simply good, fast-paced, thrilling mahjong action and gave me nothing to gripe about. The song that plays during the end credits is very nice, and the girls themselves are certainly quite all right.

Downtown Nekketsu Monogatari (River City Ransom)

~ DOWNTOWN NEKKETSU MONOGATARI ~

Naxat Soft / Technos Japan

Super CD-ROM

1993

I like this game well enough. It's a decent duke-it-out sort of thing, a fast-paced little "brawler before brawlers really got good." But if you're gonna ask me if it deserves the ridiculous amount of hype it gets in its various incarnations, if it's truly the impeccable "cult classic" that droves of slobbering NES fans make it out to be, if it's worth the $100+ that this version typically goes for, then I'm gonna respond with a resounding "Fuck no." I guess I just don't find the whole "everyone is a big-headed hunchback with no neck" thing as adorable and charming as most people do.

There isn't much to do in Downtown, and I don't simply mean it's burdened with the usual brawler repetitiveness. The enemies at the end of the game are essentially replicas of the chumps who appear when the journey commences, but they block and swing a little more often and sport different "gang colors." All you do is go around town beating on the bums, occasionally taking out a "more important," slightly tougher bum.

Yes, there's a "shopping" element that fans will tell you was extremely innovative. Sorry, but I can't sit here in this day and age and pretend that my enjoyment of the game is enhanced by periodic strolls through malls and opportunities to purchase health restorers and the occasional "technique-teaching" book. In fact, considering Final Lap Twin features a fully realized RPG mode, I question whether this buying-in-a-brawler business is all that special even given Downtown's age. I will say that I like the funny little in-store animations, though.

The raw guitar-driven music is pretty cool and suits the game perfectly, but it hardly ever changes up (which, I suppose, is one of the reasons it suits the game perfectly...).

Again, there's nothing really wrong with the action; Downtown plays fairly well and makes for decent fun. But it's sorely lacking in "money moments." Its one truly exciting scene is a tribute to a contemporary, complete with the awesome old Double Dragon theme music.

It might've been a good idea to end things right there--but no, Downtown insists on concluding with an anticlimactic rooftop "showdown."

But hey, if you're one of the many people who are crazy about the NES rendition and you've got some cash to burn, don't let me be a party pooper. Go ahead and pick this thing up, and revel in all its no-necked awesomeness.