Mizubaku Daibouken (Liquid Kids)

~ LIQUID KIDS ~

Taito

HuCard

1992

It's easy to make comparisons between Liquid Kids and Taito compatriot New Zealand Story. Both are cartoony platformers that have you collect goodies and defeat baddies that materialize from who-knows-where. Rather than slaying your foes via bow and beam a la Tiki Kiwi, you do your LK dirty work with "bubble bombs," which typically freeze a creature upon contact and render it a convenient koopa-shell-type weapon that can be utilized against its allies.

Levels proceed in every which direction, and as you explore them, you'll want to keep an eye out for concealed entrances to warp chambers, where you may discover a not-so-subtle NZS reference.

LK presents a more aesthetically appealing adventure than does NZS. Its music is completely forgettable, which means it's superior to PCE NZS's memorable cacophony. Graphically, it rates better than adequate, nice and bright without any of PCE NZS's tonal missteps.

While well-done visuals and, uh, not completely terrible music are worthy of compliment in light of poor Zealand Story's superficial failings, LK deserves praise mostly for its bosses, who are tricky, cunning, surprisingly dangerous bastards...

...especially the fiery final guy, who doesn't stay down after just one fall and who would most certainly laugh in the face of NZS's walrus chump.

But while our scorecard reads "Advantage: LK" in most categories in this 'toony Taito rumble, NZS is actually the better game. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I much prefer Zealand's cute kiwi and his neat arsenal to LK's whatever-the-hell-he-is and his freeze bubbles. More importantly, NZS features superior level designs. Sure, the stages in both games proceed in similar fashions and contain similar enemy and obstacle types. But there's nothing in LK that requires as much skill as the toughest and most cleverly planned balloon rides, swimming sections, and spike gauntlets in NZS, and it's NZS that ultimately emerges as the more challenging, rewarding, and enjoyable of the two titles.

The real problem for Liquid Kids isn't that it doesn't quite measure up to New Zealand Story. Both are nice games to own regardless of which one is better. LK's problem is that it can be kind of expensive, commonly appearing with an asking price of $40 or higher (occasionally a lot higher). Any old game related to or derivative of Bubble Bobble, no matter how remote the connection may be, will be of skewed "value." I'm not one of those people who automatically adore such titles, and I don't believe LK is worth nearly what it frequently sells for.

Parodius Da

~ PARODIUS DA! ~

Konami

HuCard

1992

There was a time when the way to resolve an alien-initiated conflict was always evident. Needed to exterminate a ring-spitting flock of Moai heads? Perhaps your planet was under attack by a large ship with a soft mid-section. Well then, you would call in the Vic Viper, of course. It was a reliable formula that became cliché with the continued success of Konami’s Gradius games, so leave it to the old pros themselves to construct one of the wackiest worlds a spacecraft has ever been hurled into--a world designed to mock and exaggerate all those concepts that made the company many a friend amongst shooter fans and many a penny in the gaming market. Welcome to the world of Parodius--a world where even the venerable Vic receives a little bit of help.

Meet the penguin Pentarou, a waddling warrior who wields a devastating spread gun (the projectiles don’t spread out--the explosions caused upon impact rise and engulf nearby enemies). TwinBee enters the fray and flings forth his little fists, which are packed cozily within tremendous boxing gloves. Should our allies find themselves outnumbered, their only hope will be to call in Octopus, who commands a legion of miniature multi-armed huntsmen.

Choose any of our four friends and set off on a journey that replaces standard metal-ship mini-bosses with the likes of an enormous flying boat that boasts a meowing countenance at its bow. Countless cool touches are applied: funny little bird guys run atop gears to set contraptions into motion, and sudden graveyard downpours occur.

Gradius staples are dressed up in new attire. Moai heads become angry clown marauders who maintain the phlegm-spewing traditions of yore. Huge steel spider things are now enormous, indestructible showgirls. Boss ships arrive with VIVA CORE messages adorning their hulls. And the final showdown is, well, a joke, of course, but one that actually makes sense within its context.

Don’t let the oddball antics fool you, however; this is no tailored-for-toddlers blaster. While the cute imagery will undoubtedly endear the game to players of all skill levels, Parodius does enforce the same sorts of memorization requirements that must be adhered to in its serious-minded ancestors. Taking things a step further, the chip has an unnatural knack for flooding the screen with missiles, enemies, and obstacles, which makes for particularly tricky navigation when one arrives at stretches where the playfield loops vertically or suddenly becomes cramped.

To cope with the chaos, players are granted the traditional Gradius “we give you the icons--you decide what to do with them” method of powering up. It’s a reliable system, augmented here by fancy bell icons that provide your hero with extraordinarily useful abilities. An “instant giant” formula, for instance, allows your newly grown behemoth to smash its way through the enemy armada.

Gorgeous backgrounds accompanied by bevies of unique enemies and HUGE bosses make Parodius one of the most graphically impressive HuCard games. The aural section holds up its end of the bargain with quality frantic tracks that occasionally give way to nostalgia-evoking tunes from Gradius episodes gone by.

Parodius stands on its own in a rough-and-tumble genre with fantastically intense action and contains mass-market appeal thanks to endearing superficials. Still, with success already in tow, Konami put in the effort to make the game ascend to yet another level via minor augmentations. From tiny penguins wiping their brows with handkerchiefs after maneuvering a particularly hefty piece of equipment to a gigantic goddess unleashing streams of tears when her army of pig toddlers has been torn to shreds, extra details abound that evoke smiles and force one to give the journey another go to see what else can be discovered in the many nooks and crannies.

Easily one of the greatest chip titles ever released.

Legend of Valkyrie

~ LEGEND OF VALKYRIE ~

Namco

HuCard

1990

As is the case in Fray~Xak Gaiden, here we have a chick who goes on an adventure that plays out somewhat like an action-RPG, somewhat like a free-roaming shooter, and somewhat like a platformer. The biggest knock on Fray is that the cute-but-chunky main character doesn't control particularly well. Valkyrie fares better in this regard but still doesn't play all that wonderfully, as leaping can feel awkward, and you'll absorb a good share of "questionable" hits.

There isn't much of a "quest" to experience here. Although there are quite a few forks in the road and some secrets to uncover, there isn't any backtracking or town visiting or, really, any thinking at all to do, which may be good news for folks who don't want to contend with a language barrier. You plod about the land, killing enemies and acquiring spells and weapons as you go, and beat a boss before venturing to the next area. Very simple stuff.

Occasionally, you'll encounter an NPC who'll ask you a question and provide you with three possible responses to choose from. These are the only parts where not knowing Japanese can be a bit of a problem, but since your options are so few, the amount of time spent on trial and error will be minimal. Get a question wrong and you might miss out on a spell or lose a heart or be sent back a ways, but it's never really a big deal.

Even the passwords aren't much of a problem: each is just twelve characters long and is made up of hiragana and letters from the English alphabet. And since the game is so short (a mere seven areas), completing it in a single sitting (and thus not bothering with the passwords at all) is quite possible.

But don't expect to come across much eye candy during that single sitting. While the environments look decent enough, they can't compare with Fray's colorful, cartoony boards; and the enemies, while fairly large, are often somewhat fuzzy and ugly.

There are mini-bosses to deal with, but that cast sorely lacks variety: I fought the same dumb "mouth-monster who sits in the middle of the screen and spits boulders" more times than I cared to count.

The end-of-stage bosses, on the other hand, are rather interesting. Fights with them play out sloppily but are very enjoyable.

Some of the weapons you can obtain are rather fun to wield, and there's one really cool magic spell that allows you to become BIG Valkyrie and do damage to enemy creatures simply by stomping on the ground.

But LoV, while an adequate hybrid title, never really feels exhilarating, and it gave me nothing that makes me want to revisit it. Fray doesn't play all that well, but it has a very charismatic and adorable main character and lots of funny moments. Valkyrie, on the other hand, contains not a single exceptional element. It'll do for whittling away an afternoon, but don't expect greatness from it.

Urusei Yatsura: Stay with You and Hudson CD-ROM Ongaku Zenshuu

~ URUSEI YATSURA & HUDSON ONGAKU ZENSHUU ~

Hudson Soft

CD-ROM

1990

Urusei Yatsura is an unspectacular digital comic that fails to impress with either its story or its graphics early on but steps up just enough in both areas during its second half to end up mediocre rather than worthless.

And as we already have a full review posted for the game, that one lengthy sentence will do for UY talk. The package covered here includes an audio disc containing nineteen tracks culled from nine Hudson Soft PCE CD releases, so let's focus on that instead.

If you're interested in only the "good stuff," you might be tempted to skip right to the ten-minute medley of Ys I & II tracks. It goes without saying that the material is brilliant, but I won't be surprised if some people end up disappointed with the structure and makeup of the medley. I suppose it was inevitable, given the ridiculous number of incredible tunes the game features, but quite a few great tracks were left out, and I'm not just talking about personal favorites here. Count on it: you'll be shocked that certain pieces weren't included. Something else I found frustrating (and I imagine there are others who will have the same gripe) is that many numbers are cut off just as they're reaching their strides. And the "Last Moment of the Dark" track utilized here is the one with Dark Fact's monologue recorded over the music, which doesn't seem like a terrible thing--except that these words, of course, are spoken by the Japanese Fact, who isn't nearly as awesome or unforgettable as Michael Bell's.

It's kind of strange that I came away from ten minutes of great music with a list of complaints in hand, but that's how it went with the I & II medley, so I expected little from the seven-and-a-half-minute Ys III string that follows it. But III's medley actually comes off quite well. Once again, some good tunes didn't make the cut, but the omissions aren't as egregious as the ones made for the I & II amalgamation. (Granted, III's soundtrack features far fewer "musts" than its predecessor, but that just makes it a more suitable culling ground for short medleys.) The track progression works extremely well: I expected wall-to-wall rock tunes, but focus is instead placed on subtle moments of the soundtrack (fear not, headbangers: there are two excellent rockers placed back to back right in the middle of the procession). The only negative is that the Tigre Mines track is cut off just as it's heading into its filthy, kickass breakdown.

Once you get your Ys fill, give a listen to the trio of J.B. Harold Murder Club jazz tracks. As much positive attention as it has received over the years, and as awesome as some of its basslines are, the opening number is fairly repetitive. The "Investigation Rest" piece, a beautiful tune with lovely piano and horn melodies, is the true star of the J.B. soundtrack. The loungy ending tune is a stylish closer.

The next place to seek out excellence is the triumvirate of Tengai Makyou tracks, which feature a Far East flavor that effectively establishes atmosphere for the fantastic RPG. The opening, intermission, and ending numbers featured here all contain numerous segues, transitioning without warning from soothing melodies to more ominous fare and then to the fast and raucous. They're high-quality compositions, but they do seem better suited to act as atmospheric accompaniments than to stand on their own as musical tracks.

You may be at a loss as to where to go from there. A glance at the track list will reveal three tunes apiece from Fighting Street and Monster Lair, two titles perhaps best known for being the first CD games released here in the US.

Actually, a lot of people cite Fighting Street's music as the game's "redeeming feature." I, on the other hand, believe Fighting Street has no redeeming features, and the two tracks from it that I actually like were left out in the cold by this disc in favor of the crappy bonus-stage music. To be fair, listening to the Retsu and Joe tunes outside of the deplorable FS in-game environment allowed me to appreciate neat things that were done with the instrumentation and hear appealing parts that the numbers never had time to reach during play. But these aspects hardly make the tunes great as standalone audio pieces.

As for Monster Lair, its soundtrack is one of those that insist on being weird. Its stage music is chaotic, often taking the form of deplorable racket but occasionally flaunting odd appeal. The ending tune is bizarre instrumentally but somehow pretty pleasant to listen to.

There are some surprise inclusions on the disc. While Cobra is a very cool digital comic, I don't think anyone would expect it to be a source of material for a musical feature; but its brief opening track is actually a great little composition that stands up quite well on its own. Its ending tune, though, is long and eclectic to an extreme, and while "eclectic" is quite fitting for the game, it doesn't make for good listening.

Mitsubachi Gakuen provides a cheery, upbeat pop vocal. Placed in the unenviable position of following the wonderful Ys III medley, the tune never had a chance to begin with of impressing anyone, but it really isn't bad. The singing won't go over well with all listeners, however.

The two least-worth-listening-to tracks on the disc were pulled from Gambler Jikochuushinha. The "snazzy" opening is devoid of merit, and the number that follows it is just plain silly.

If you're going to buy Urusei Yatsura, then you might as well pick up the package that contains the music disc. It used to be that the audio CD's inclusion meant a price three times that set for the bonus-less UY release, but nowadays, we're talking an extra five bucks or so. It's not a fantastic compilation, but if you're acquiring Urusei Yatsura to begin with, you're probably not in the market for fantastic stuff anyway.

Momotarou Densetsu Gaiden

~ MOMOTAROU DENSETSU GAIDEN ~

Hudson Soft / Summer Project

HuCard

1992

My Momotarou RPG adventures concluded with what's probably the strongest of the three for the PCE. You actually don't play as Momotarou in this one; instead, you control acquaintances of his in three separate mini-quests.

There's a fairly standard RPG mini-adventure, but the premises of the other two quests are pretty interesting. One tale stars a princess of demons who needs to make her way up through the depths of the underworld to deal with invading beasts, and the other features a fellow who swipes money off monsters and gives it to fallen mendicants. There's also a bonus quest, a second trip through the money dude's adventure during which you can use a different character (and experience super-fast leveling).

Like Momo Densetsu II and unlike primitive Momo Turbo, Gaiden gives you groups of enemies to beat up on and multiple playable party members (for two of the three journeys, at least). In fact, at the beginning of the princess's expedition, you can select the royal lass's allies from a group of odd creatures and monsters. There's still plenty of leveling to do, but the fights are as fast as ever.

The graphics are much better in Gaiden than they are in its crusty predecessors. Battles here have some very nice-looking backdrops. The field visuals might seem only a bit better at first, but you'll notice significant improvements once you set foot in certain dungeons (which are largely well constructed and feature some decent puzzles).

Most of the enemies are kind of small, but that's okay. The music is not okay, however; it's often annoying, in fact, especially a certain battle tune that has a buzzing bassline.

The gameplay doesn't deviate from the series's simple norms for the most part, but it does deviate a bit from Momo tradition in that your characters earn spells the usual old-RPG way (upon reaching certain experience levels) rather than by passing trials of old hut-hermits. In fact, this game is more straightforward than the other two on the whole, meaning it contains far fewer potential "stuck-spots." And none of its boss battles are particularly time consuming or difficult.

II, not Gaiden, is my favorite Momo Densetsu game, as I really like its enemy art and find it to be quite funny at times. But people new to the series will almost certainly consider Gaiden to be the best, as it's definitely the least primitive (and easiest to get into and complete) of the bunch. It's too bad that Hudson never went ahead with a CD episode, as I believe the designers were really on the right track with many of the ideas they had, and such a sequel might've been like the great Ziria but even better in a lot of ways.

Momotarou Densetsu Turbo

~ MOMOTAROU DENSETSU TURBO ~

Hudson Soft

HuCard

1990

Being that I exist in a perennial state of discombobulation, I played through Momotarou Densetsu II before giving this game a go, but Turbo is the one that tells us (via stirring cinemas) of the peach lad's origins.

I found it to be remarkably reminiscent of II in many different ways. The primitive field graphics are eerily similar. Some tunes appear in both games, as do a number of enemies. Menus are navigated in basically the same manner; spells are acquired in basically the same manner. Momotarou's three animal buds tag along with him here just as they do in II; and as the group quested, I recognized many town and even continent layouts that I'd already explored in II. Turbo is essentially a different adventure that takes place in the same land.

However, as I played on, I noticed quite a few differences between the two; and most of these differences work in II's favor.

While both games are comparable to the original Dragon Warrior in primitiveness, Turbo turns back the clock even further than II (and does more to call to mind old DW) by having you control a one-man party for the entire game and requiring you to face only one monster in each battle. There are no playable allies to recruit, no bands of monsters to slay--just one-on-one stuff the whole way.

Granted, the animal chums chip in every once in a while with minimal-damage attacks and minor healing techniques, but you can't send them out to scout areas like you can in II (unless I somehow stupidly missed the way to do it). Scouting is an awesome feature and a big reason the animals are such excellent allies in II; but here, they're basically ornaments. They're also the only characters, playable or not, who tag along with Momotarou. You get none of the funny two-dozen-character-long caravans that you get in II.

Turbo also "lacks" status effects. Some enemies can "freeze" you for a turn and one boss can prevent you from using magic, but none of the traditional effects (like poison) are employed. Score one for Turbo's battles--I hate pointless busy-work status crap. Unfortunately, Turbo's battles are much less fun than II's due to their inferior enemy art. II has nice, large, colorful monsters, but Turbo's beasts are mostly boring. Enemy art is a significant reason I consider II a pretty good game, so this is a major issue as far as I'm concerned.

Along the same lines, the final boss in Turbo is a chump, not nearly as cool looking or as tough as the big ogre guy at the end of II. He's also a cheap asshole with a lot of hit points. You can be pounding away at him for a while without a care in the world when he'll suddenly decide to freeze you for a few turns or knock you out in an instant.

II doesn't focus much on dungeons, but when it decides to do one up for its last stretch, it does up a good one. Turbo's caves are larger than II's and play a slightly more central role, but they're duller than II's multi-area labyrinth by a long shot.

As is the case in II, there are plenty of troubled towns to help out. But in II, I feel like I'm regularly moving along and helping fresh faces and new villages, despite a decent amount of required leveling time. Turbo, on the other hand, gets bogged down in leveling and fetch questing. And some of the puzzles in Turbo can be quite difficult to solve, much tougher than just about any of the tough spots in II. They're the types of dilemmas that the Japanese walkthroughs don't bother to address (or address in a manner that will be of little help) because some essential elements would be obvious to someone proficient in Japanese while completely eluding the rest of us. I eventually solved them all because I'm a lunatic, but I don't think most people will want to bother.

II gets better and better as it goes along, with cooler and bigger enemies showing up and the whole affair culminating with the impressive dungeon and awesome boss at the end, but Turbo trudges along at times, bogged down by the aforementioned issues along with cheap enemies that either launch repeated major attacks without granting you a chance to counter or simply freeze you for successive rounds.

While it obviously fares very poorly in comparison with II, Turbo does what it does adequately enough. Allowed a little leeway as a primitive RPG, it doesn't have any flaws that would make a person run away screaming or anything. But there isn't anything particularly good about it that would warrant a recommendation either; and if you're interested in trying one of the two, don't hesitate to skip Turbo and go right to the second episode. In truth, II is the one that does all the rehashing; but it does everything in such superior style that we can disregard that somewhat inconvenient fact.