Gunboat

~ GUNBOAT ~

Accolade / NEC

HuCard

1992

I'd been warned that Gunboat's gameplay can be pretty confusing when you first start playing it, and I was indeed tempted to shut the search-and-destroy-themed title off for good after just a few moments of bewilderment. But once I'd spent about fifteen minutes acclimating myself to the controls and sorting out the mission objectives, I actually started having fun with it. Piloting your boat feels good once you've got the unusual pad, button, and turbo-switch functions down, and upon achieving that level of competence, you can concentrate on completing tasks and blowing stuff up.

The one thing that can remain awkward about the first-person action is switching from pilot's view, which you generally use when navigating the rivers, to gunners' perspectives.

The gunners are stationed at spots a distance from one another on the boat, so while you may be staring right at an enemy as you're piloting the vessel, you'll probably find yourself looking at something completely different upon changing perspectives. This demands that you reorient yourself in the heat of battle and can be quite disconcerting. Fortunately, I've found that switches are seldom required. Your bow gunner can take care of most enemies while you continue steering.

Some folks may end up irritated that they essentially have to pause the game to look at their map (and they'll have to do plenty of this). I wish that the sector maps had been placed on the piloting screen; many of the gauges that are there seem relatively useless, while the maps are lifesavers. Still, stopping here and there to check my location didn't annoy me much.

The game is known (though not necessarily in a positive way) for its polygon-based visuals, and all in all, I think it looks pretty good, a hell of a lot better than fellow polygon-flaunter Falcon. I really can't complain about most of the craft, vessels, and structures (though infantrymen look awful).

It's cool that many of your foes don't just "vanish" upon being annihilated; take a look around in the midst of battle and you'll see downed choppers, burning rubble, and the like.

The designers tried to use superficial elements to establish atmosphere: the sky turns red when enemies are on the scene, and you can hear people screaming as structures and vehicles are being hit. In truth, the screams can be rather annoying (especially at first, before you're used to them), and the game is too easy to be truly scary; but hey, at least they made an effort with this stuff.

Actually, since the missions are easy to complete and don't really require much time, Gunboat ends up being a nice pick-up-and-play title. It lets you save your rank and kill numbers as a little extra incentive to return to it and continue to advance your illustrious "career."

Fray~Xak Gaiden

~ FRAY~XAK GAIDEN ~

Micro Cabin

Super CD-ROM

1994

I found Xak Gaiden utterly charming the first time I played through it. Much of its appeal was attributable to Fray, its spunky young protagonist, who was at that point the most adorable game character I'd ever come across. Her goofy facial expressions and funny antics helped make the entire affair extraordinarily entertaining. I've experienced the brilliant Madou Monogatari since then, and the incomparable Arle annihilates poor Fray on the adorability meter. But make no mistake about it: Fray is a cool little character, and getting the chance to make her acquaintance should be reason enough for players to give this Xak side story a try.

But if you're thinking about purchasing the disc, do NOT expect it to deliver an action-RPG in the vein of Zelda or Ys. Despite the visual similarities, this game is nothing at all like those titles. Here, you walk forward and shoot things. Picture a wacky, cartoony Final Zone II with platforming and occasional town scenes thrown in and you've basically got this Micro Cabin product.

There are parts where Fray gets wings and takes to the sky to battle airships and demons, not to mention a mining-cart ride and a surfboard stage.

The graphics are quite nice and colorful, as is evident from screenshots. And if you like the Neutopia boss bunch, you might like the giant-monster gang here as well, as similarities exist between the two groups (though Xak Gaiden's goons are larger and more charismatic).

What you might not like are the sloppy controls. Fray is kind of chubby and limited, and she doesn't play like a superstar when the screen gets crowded or there are tricky leaps to make.

Still, the game is very easy and ridiculously short. I'd feel better about recommending it if it were showing up more often in the $20-30 price range than in the $40-50 one. But if you're willing to live with its sloppiness and you aren't expecting it to be a true adventure title, you'll likely find it endearing, colorful, and worthwhile.

Mizubaku Daibouken (Liquid Kids)

~ LIQUID KIDS ~

Taito

HuCard

1992

It's easy to make comparisons between Liquid Kids and Taito compatriot New Zealand Story. Both are cartoony platformers that have you collect goodies and defeat baddies that materialize from who-knows-where. Rather than slaying your foes via bow and beam a la Tiki Kiwi, you do your LK dirty work with "bubble bombs," which typically freeze a creature upon contact and render it a convenient koopa-shell-type weapon that can be utilized against its allies.

Levels proceed in every which direction, and as you explore them, you'll want to keep an eye out for concealed entrances to warp chambers, where you may discover a not-so-subtle NZS reference.

LK presents a more aesthetically appealing adventure than does NZS. Its music is completely forgettable, which means it's superior to PCE NZS's memorable cacophony. Graphically, it rates better than adequate, nice and bright without any of PCE NZS's tonal missteps.

While well-done visuals and, uh, not completely terrible music are worthy of compliment in light of poor Zealand Story's superficial failings, LK deserves praise mostly for its bosses, who are tricky, cunning, surprisingly dangerous bastards...

...especially the fiery final guy, who doesn't stay down after just one fall and who would most certainly laugh in the face of NZS's walrus chump.

But while our scorecard reads "Advantage: LK" in most categories in this 'toony Taito rumble, NZS is actually the better game. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I much prefer Zealand's cute kiwi and his neat arsenal to LK's whatever-the-hell-he-is and his freeze bubbles. More importantly, NZS features superior level designs. Sure, the stages in both games proceed in similar fashions and contain similar enemy and obstacle types. But there's nothing in LK that requires as much skill as the toughest and most cleverly planned balloon rides, swimming sections, and spike gauntlets in NZS, and it's NZS that ultimately emerges as the more challenging, rewarding, and enjoyable of the two titles.

The real problem for Liquid Kids isn't that it doesn't quite measure up to New Zealand Story. Both are nice games to own regardless of which one is better. LK's problem is that it can be kind of expensive, commonly appearing with an asking price of $40 or higher (occasionally a lot higher). Any old game related to or derivative of Bubble Bobble, no matter how remote the connection may be, will be of skewed "value." I'm not one of those people who automatically adore such titles, and I don't believe LK is worth nearly what it frequently sells for.

Parodius Da

~ PARODIUS DA! ~

Konami

HuCard

1992

There was a time when the way to resolve an alien-initiated conflict was always evident. Needed to exterminate a ring-spitting flock of Moai heads? Perhaps your planet was under attack by a large ship with a soft mid-section. Well then, you would call in the Vic Viper, of course. It was a reliable formula that became cliché with the continued success of Konami’s Gradius games, so leave it to the old pros themselves to construct one of the wackiest worlds a spacecraft has ever been hurled into--a world designed to mock and exaggerate all those concepts that made the company many a friend amongst shooter fans and many a penny in the gaming market. Welcome to the world of Parodius--a world where even the venerable Vic receives a little bit of help.

Meet the penguin Pentarou, a waddling warrior who wields a devastating spread gun (the projectiles don’t spread out--the explosions caused upon impact rise and engulf nearby enemies). TwinBee enters the fray and flings forth his little fists, which are packed cozily within tremendous boxing gloves. Should our allies find themselves outnumbered, their only hope will be to call in Octopus, who commands a legion of miniature multi-armed huntsmen.

Choose any of our four friends and set off on a journey that replaces standard metal-ship mini-bosses with the likes of an enormous flying boat that boasts a meowing countenance at its bow. Countless cool touches are applied: funny little bird guys run atop gears to set contraptions into motion, and sudden graveyard downpours occur.

Gradius staples are dressed up in new attire. Moai heads become angry clown marauders who maintain the phlegm-spewing traditions of yore. Huge steel spider things are now enormous, indestructible showgirls. Boss ships arrive with VIVA CORE messages adorning their hulls. And the final showdown is, well, a joke, of course, but one that actually makes sense within its context.

Don’t let the oddball antics fool you, however; this is no tailored-for-toddlers blaster. While the cute imagery will undoubtedly endear the game to players of all skill levels, Parodius does enforce the same sorts of memorization requirements that must be adhered to in its serious-minded ancestors. Taking things a step further, the chip has an unnatural knack for flooding the screen with missiles, enemies, and obstacles, which makes for particularly tricky navigation when one arrives at stretches where the playfield loops vertically or suddenly becomes cramped.

To cope with the chaos, players are granted the traditional Gradius “we give you the icons--you decide what to do with them” method of powering up. It’s a reliable system, augmented here by fancy bell icons that provide your hero with extraordinarily useful abilities. An “instant giant” formula, for instance, allows your newly grown behemoth to smash its way through the enemy armada.

Gorgeous backgrounds accompanied by bevies of unique enemies and HUGE bosses make Parodius one of the most graphically impressive HuCard games. The aural section holds up its end of the bargain with quality frantic tracks that occasionally give way to nostalgia-evoking tunes from Gradius episodes gone by.

Parodius stands on its own in a rough-and-tumble genre with fantastically intense action and contains mass-market appeal thanks to endearing superficials. Still, with success already in tow, Konami put in the effort to make the game ascend to yet another level via minor augmentations. From tiny penguins wiping their brows with handkerchiefs after maneuvering a particularly hefty piece of equipment to a gigantic goddess unleashing streams of tears when her army of pig toddlers has been torn to shreds, extra details abound that evoke smiles and force one to give the journey another go to see what else can be discovered in the many nooks and crannies.

Easily one of the greatest chip titles ever released.

Legend of Valkyrie

~ LEGEND OF VALKYRIE ~

Namco

HuCard

1990

As is the case in Fray~Xak Gaiden, here we have a chick who goes on an adventure that plays out somewhat like an action-RPG, somewhat like a free-roaming shooter, and somewhat like a platformer. The biggest knock on Fray is that the cute-but-chunky main character doesn't control particularly well. Valkyrie fares better in this regard but still doesn't play all that wonderfully, as leaping can feel awkward, and you'll absorb a good share of "questionable" hits.

There isn't much of a "quest" to experience here. Although there are quite a few forks in the road and some secrets to uncover, there isn't any backtracking or town visiting or, really, any thinking at all to do, which may be good news for folks who don't want to contend with a language barrier. You plod about the land, killing enemies and acquiring spells and weapons as you go, and beat a boss before venturing to the next area. Very simple stuff.

Occasionally, you'll encounter an NPC who'll ask you a question and provide you with three possible responses to choose from. These are the only parts where not knowing Japanese can be a bit of a problem, but since your options are so few, the amount of time spent on trial and error will be minimal. Get a question wrong and you might miss out on a spell or lose a heart or be sent back a ways, but it's never really a big deal.

Even the passwords aren't much of a problem: each is just twelve characters long and is made up of hiragana and letters from the English alphabet. And since the game is so short (a mere seven areas), completing it in a single sitting (and thus not bothering with the passwords at all) is quite possible.

But don't expect to come across much eye candy during that single sitting. While the environments look decent enough, they can't compare with Fray's colorful, cartoony boards; and the enemies, while fairly large, are often somewhat fuzzy and ugly.

There are mini-bosses to deal with, but that cast sorely lacks variety: I fought the same dumb "mouth-monster who sits in the middle of the screen and spits boulders" more times than I cared to count.

The end-of-stage bosses, on the other hand, are rather interesting. Fights with them play out sloppily but are very enjoyable.

Some of the weapons you can obtain are rather fun to wield, and there's one really cool magic spell that allows you to become BIG Valkyrie and do damage to enemy creatures simply by stomping on the ground.

But LoV, while an adequate hybrid title, never really feels exhilarating, and it gave me nothing that makes me want to revisit it. Fray doesn't play all that well, but it has a very charismatic and adorable main character and lots of funny moments. Valkyrie, on the other hand, contains not a single exceptional element. It'll do for whittling away an afternoon, but don't expect greatness from it.

Urusei Yatsura: Stay with You and Hudson CD-ROM Ongaku Zenshuu

~ URUSEI YATSURA & HUDSON ONGAKU ZENSHUU ~

Hudson Soft

CD-ROM

1990

Urusei Yatsura is an unspectacular digital comic that fails to impress with either its story or its graphics early on but steps up just enough in both areas during its second half to end up mediocre rather than worthless.

And as we already have a full review posted for the game, that one lengthy sentence will do for UY talk. The package covered here includes an audio disc containing nineteen tracks culled from nine Hudson Soft PCE CD releases, so let's focus on that instead.

If you're interested in only the "good stuff," you might be tempted to skip right to the ten-minute medley of Ys I & II tracks. It goes without saying that the material is brilliant, but I won't be surprised if some people end up disappointed with the structure and makeup of the medley. I suppose it was inevitable, given the ridiculous number of incredible tunes the game features, but quite a few great tracks were left out, and I'm not just talking about personal favorites here. Count on it: you'll be shocked that certain pieces weren't included. Something else I found frustrating (and I imagine there are others who will have the same gripe) is that many numbers are cut off just as they're reaching their strides. And the "Last Moment of the Dark" track utilized here is the one with Dark Fact's monologue recorded over the music, which doesn't seem like a terrible thing--except that these words, of course, are spoken by the Japanese Fact, who isn't nearly as awesome or unforgettable as Michael Bell's.

It's kind of strange that I came away from ten minutes of great music with a list of complaints in hand, but that's how it went with the I & II medley, so I expected little from the seven-and-a-half-minute Ys III string that follows it. But III's medley actually comes off quite well. Once again, some good tunes didn't make the cut, but the omissions aren't as egregious as the ones made for the I & II amalgamation. (Granted, III's soundtrack features far fewer "musts" than its predecessor, but that just makes it a more suitable culling ground for short medleys.) The track progression works extremely well: I expected wall-to-wall rock tunes, but focus is instead placed on subtle moments of the soundtrack (fear not, headbangers: there are two excellent rockers placed back to back right in the middle of the procession). The only negative is that the Tigre Mines track is cut off just as it's heading into its filthy, kickass breakdown.

Once you get your Ys fill, give a listen to the trio of J.B. Harold Murder Club jazz tracks. As much positive attention as it has received over the years, and as awesome as some of its basslines are, the opening number is fairly repetitive. The "Investigation Rest" piece, a beautiful tune with lovely piano and horn melodies, is the true star of the J.B. soundtrack. The loungy ending tune is a stylish closer.

The next place to seek out excellence is the triumvirate of Tengai Makyou tracks, which feature a Far East flavor that effectively establishes atmosphere for the fantastic RPG. The opening, intermission, and ending numbers featured here all contain numerous segues, transitioning without warning from soothing melodies to more ominous fare and then to the fast and raucous. They're high-quality compositions, but they do seem better suited to act as atmospheric accompaniments than to stand on their own as musical tracks.

You may be at a loss as to where to go from there. A glance at the track list will reveal three tunes apiece from Fighting Street and Monster Lair, two titles perhaps best known for being the first CD games released here in the US.

Actually, a lot of people cite Fighting Street's music as the game's "redeeming feature." I, on the other hand, believe Fighting Street has no redeeming features, and the two tracks from it that I actually like were left out in the cold by this disc in favor of the crappy bonus-stage music. To be fair, listening to the Retsu and Joe tunes outside of the deplorable FS in-game environment allowed me to appreciate neat things that were done with the instrumentation and hear appealing parts that the numbers never had time to reach during play. But these aspects hardly make the tunes great as standalone audio pieces.

As for Monster Lair, its soundtrack is one of those that insist on being weird. Its stage music is chaotic, often taking the form of deplorable racket but occasionally flaunting odd appeal. The ending tune is bizarre instrumentally but somehow pretty pleasant to listen to.

There are some surprise inclusions on the disc. While Cobra is a very cool digital comic, I don't think anyone would expect it to be a source of material for a musical feature; but its brief opening track is actually a great little composition that stands up quite well on its own. Its ending tune, though, is long and eclectic to an extreme, and while "eclectic" is quite fitting for the game, it doesn't make for good listening.

Mitsubachi Gakuen provides a cheery, upbeat pop vocal. Placed in the unenviable position of following the wonderful Ys III medley, the tune never had a chance to begin with of impressing anyone, but it really isn't bad. The singing won't go over well with all listeners, however.

The two least-worth-listening-to tracks on the disc were pulled from Gambler Jikochuushinha. The "snazzy" opening is devoid of merit, and the number that follows it is just plain silly.

If you're going to buy Urusei Yatsura, then you might as well pick up the package that contains the music disc. It used to be that the audio CD's inclusion meant a price three times that set for the bonus-less UY release, but nowadays, we're talking an extra five bucks or so. It's not a fantastic compilation, but if you're acquiring Urusei Yatsura to begin with, you're probably not in the market for fantastic stuff anyway.