Gradius

~ GRADIUS ~

Konami

HuCard

1991

Let's start by taking a quick look at what this "famous" blaster delivers. It's a moderately challenging affair, and it boasts a few interesting tunes. Not exactly the stuff of legends there, but this story only gets worse: dinky weaponry; small, unimpressive enemies; lots of slowdown; and boring space-themed levels make this an outdated, geriatric shooter, a wash-up through and through. Timeless, this is not.

Ah, but the boss designs save the title, don't they? Who could ever forget their first encounter with the "shoot the core" ship, a video-game hall of famer for sure?

And then there's this mighty behemoth...

...and this remarkable titan...

All right, enough. I don't care what year the game was originally released in. This soft-stomached bum wasn't much fun to fight in the first place, and he sure as hell isn't fun to fight now--never mind that you have to fight him multiple times each trip. The fool had already been relegated to a Blades of Steel intermission sideshow act by the time the eighties were through--who the fuck wants anything to do with him now?

Konami did eventually realize they needed to shake the boss fights up a bit...

...but this is just a matter of too little, too late. It's kind of funny that the final boss is an intentional "joke" (an eventual "staple" concept of the series)...

...in that the "many" bosses that precede it are complete jokes anyway.

It doesn't matter to me that Gradius was a "landmark" shooter. Whatever was "special" about it back in the day has lost its sheen, leaving behind something decrepit, uninteresting, and deserving of whatever mockery is hurled its way.

That certainly isn't the case with all old shooters. Check out R-Type for a classic that has actually remained respectable over the years; hell, some stretches of R-T still come off as examples of ingenious stage design. Returning to the Konami catalog, both Parodius and Salamander completely murder Grandpa Gradius; and while the game's own direct sequel (which was released as a PCE Super CD) is hardly wonderful itself, it leaves its forerunner in the dust as far as stage concepts and boss designs go. What with the existence of these superior alternatives (and the many others that are out there), this old-timer is hardly even worth playing anymore.

Necros no Yousai

~ NECROS ~

Ask Kodansha / LAD-R / Red

HuCard

1990

Necros is a traditional-style RPG, and it can be a really annoying one at times. In most of its dungeons dwell powerful creatures packing magic spells that can hammer every member of your party at once. You'll have to contend with plenty of those daunting beasts, as the encounter rate leans towards the high side (with frequent spikes that put you in step-by-step peril). Perhaps the worst part of all is the HORRID start-of-battle "jingle." Not all of the game's tunes are as awful as that cacophonous "riff," but few positive things can be said about its crude overhead visuals.

Thank goodness for the charismatic characters who make up your brave assemblage. There are eight of these bold warriors, and your party will consist of three at a time as you play through the seven phases of the adventure.

Now, these aren't your typical knights, elves, and berserkers. No, this is an eclectic crew of misfits and goofballs. I mean, just look at this fruitcake...

It's a unique band of heroes, one that's very hard to dislike--not only because of the wacky personalities and silly facial expressions but also because of the distinct ability sets. You'll have to make good use of your party members' skills as you travel through deserts, forests, snow lands, caverns, dungeons, and futuristic factories. While Necros doesn't dabble in the sort of drama that's present in the greatest PCE CD adventure games, it does offer a fair number of surprising story moments, moments that usually play out in entertainingly goofy fashion. And advancement isn't made in a linear manner, as there are plenty of fun missions to undertake and quite a few secrets to happen upon. Those who don't know Japanese will need to use a walkthrough unless they hope to have remarkable luck while searching and stumbling (here's a good Japanese guide).

So Necros sends you off on an enjoyable adventure with a nutty, likable cast, but its true trump card is its battle system: raucous fight scenes provide closeups of the goofy heroes and their equally ridiculous foes as they leap and dash about.

Even with all the action and theatrics, Necros' battles are fast. Actually, aside from the at-times-irritating encounter rate, the game does a great job with its pacing, particularly in that it allows players to adjust message and walking speeds.

Whether it's annoying you or entertaining you, Necros is sure to draw you in. Thankfully, it spends most of its time amusing its players rather than driving them mad.

Dragon's Curse

~ DRAGON'S CURSE ~

Westone / Hudson Soft / NEC

HuCard

1990

Dragon's Curse would certainly have no place on any sort of "unappreciated gems" list; it's received far too much recognition to pass for a "sleeper." Still, speaking in purely relative terms, I'm a little surprised that it isn't discussed more often amongst Turbo fans, as it's a very charming and extremely well-thought-out sidescrolling adventure game.

A large, secret-stocked realm for players to explore and a main character who transforms into various creatures are DC's finest assets. Some shapes come with expected proficiencies--that Piranha Man swims, Hawk Man flies, and Mouse Man sneaks through small openings should come as no great shock to anyone. But the rodent can also scale walls and tread upside down on ceilings, while Lizard Man breathes fire and Tiger Man attacks with sweeping sword swipes. Comfortable controls make even the more routine actions enjoyable, and putting all of your available skills to good use can lead to some astounding discoveries.

Many elements considered obligatory for sidescrolling quests are presented with twists here. Some of the hero's available forms prefer certain types of weapons over others, and their respective items of choice may surprise you. Slay enemies to earn gold for acquiring equipment, but be aware that merchants will be unwilling to deal if your character comes off as a hoodlum. Stumble around in the hideous Goblin Mail and a shopkeeper may be offended by your appearance, but get all dressed up in the Prince's Armor and the same fellow will be more than willing to assist you.

DC innovates, but at the same time, it remembers to do the most fundamental things well. You'll travel quite a long way, and backtracking will ultimately be required, but placed throughout the sprawling land are portals that allow you to warp right back to the town that serves as your hub. The similarly structured Shape Shifter gets a hell of a lot of things right but provides no such convenient method of returning to home base.

DC's appealing sounds and visuals contribute to its overall air of lightheartedness. The soundtrack, one of Duomitri's favorites, is generally fast paced and upbeat, while the graphics are quite colorful and cartoonish.

There isn't anything particularly flashy about Dragon's Curse. It doesn't feature much of a plot; and, unlike Shape Shifter, it won't treat you to any moments of high drama. Its limited-range attack mechanisms wouldn't be deemed acceptable in a straight-ahead action title. And for idiot collectors, it isn't nearly as desirable an acquisition as its inferior successor, Dynastic Hero. But DC succeeds by giving its players fun forms to assume and a world that requires mastery of said forms' capabilities. At the end of the day, without indulging in fanciness or pulling off anything mind blowing, it manages to thrash most other adventure games of its era thanks to the wise choices made by its creators in matters of world layout and concept execution.

Necromancer

~ NECROMANCER ~

Hudson Soft

HuCard

1988

Necromancer lets us know right at its unsettling title screen that it won't be taking us on some sort of lighthearted jaunt. It's a dark affair that conducts itself with an air of maturity, employing gloomy environs and tall, thin character models as opposed to pastel fields and typical old-RPG squat-folk.

It also stars a very bizarre cast of creatures. The animated abominations explode in bloody messes upon being slain.

As cool as those monsters (and their gory fates) are, and as quickly as fights are decided, combat is forced upon the player far too often to remain enjoyable, and the battle theme loses its luster early in the adventure. The game's other tunes hold up well, though, particularly the ominous cavern tune (which is reminiscent of another excellent piece, The Legendary Axe's eerie Stage 2 track, by the same composer).

The mature theme and well-presented battles make Necromancer an interesting, solid-if-not-fantastic RPG, though there's little to it besides linear field-desert-cave questing. The player partakes in but a few dramatic confrontations until a run of bosses at the very end.

As one of the best HuCard RPGs, it's worth a play, though there are a couple of things to bear in mind if you aren't able to read Japanese. The passwords are enormous and consist primarily of Japanese characters, and you simply won't be getting through the game without a guide in hand... so here are two very helpful ones:

http://www.h3.dion.ne.jp/~realrobo/game/necro/necro.htm
http://gamersparadise.fc2web.com/koryaku/necro/necro.html

Gekisha Boy (Photograph Boy)

~ GEKISHA BOY ~

Irem

HuCard

1992

I spent my first few minutes with Gekisha Boy wishing that it played more like fellow crosshairs-based blaster Operation Wolf. While OW essentially allows players to fire away at will, GB requires them to make sure that its camera-wielding protagonist (who's charged with taking photos of atypical sights and events) doesn't stumble into bouncing balls and other such crap as they try to "shoot" things and watch for "funny" stuff. I initially hated this element of the gameplay; and being that I'm an old grouch, I didn't find the goofy/"offensive" moments to be nearly as amusing as everyone else seems to.

But the second half of the game gets pretty tricky: the obstacles make bigger nuisances of themselves, and it becomes more and more important to make prudent use of a limited film supply. I couldn't help but respect and enjoy the play style after a while. And there's no doubt that Gekisha features good graphics and a nice variety of environments (haunted marshland, art museum, statue field, beach, ocean floor, slums, etc.).

Unfortunately, it concludes with a rather stupid "mini-game."

I'm glad I was able to get Gekisha on the cheap, and I'm glad it typically goes for a lot less than it used to. I wasn't thrilled with the adventure on the whole, though it did prove rewarding enough that I'm glad I got to experience it.