Color Wars

~ COLOR WARS ~
Coconuts Japan
CD-ROM
1992

Color Wars is something of a three-dimensional kinsman of Reversi. Main modes of play pit four participants against one another in a series of game-piece-capturing contests. The trinkets here are beads that are slid down a pre-positioned set of strings. Surround an opponent's bead (or line of beads) with two of your own, and the captured pieces are flipped to your side. You can rotate the playfield as you like to analyze each possible angle of attack.

All four play spots can be manned by human participants, but a lengthy Adventure Mode is available for those whose friends have other things to do. Your Color Wars "adventure" will consist of watching your avatar jaunt from one match location to another on a no-frills map screen and partaking in thirty-two battles of bead appropriation, each of which lasts a total of four rounds.

I was concerned coming in that I'd lose patience with the game, that the three other participants in a given match would pause to ponder each of their moves and that a great deal of time would have to be spent rotating the board. But none of my computer-controlled adversaries ever delayed matters for more than a second or two with their contemplation and field spinning. In fact, it was I who prompted complaints about taking too long.

But while the playing practices of my fellow contestants didn't bother me, the length of the adventure did. One hundred and twenty-eight rounds is more than a bit much, especially since the game just isn't very deep--we're hardly talking chess here. And I found that by sticking with some basic tactics, I could easily crush the first few dozen oddballs who faced me.

It wasn't until the fifteenth match--in other words, fifty-six rounds into the "quest"--that I finally encountered a player who seemed to have some idea of what he was doing. And at that point, just as the game was beginning to get challenging, I found myself sick of it.

I trudged on anyway, of course, as that's what Duomazovs do. My enemies did finally figure out that it's not a bad idea to go for top-shelf slots in the corners and bottom-row spots on the rest of the perimeter. Suddenly, I found myself involved in tightly contested matches. But even once I was forced to shake myself from my stupor and actually think about the moves I was making, the number of battles left to wage seemed ludicrous, especially since the level of difficulty was being raised in such minute increments. And some matches can feel not only superfluous but senseless, as chance frequently comes into play. If luck is with you, you may gain control of the perimeter at once and cruise to victory.

If it isn't, you could find yourself in a horrible situation before you've even had an opportunity to make a move. A computer-controlled player may have to decide early on whether to nab a piece from you or from another participant, and that one decision can have a huge impact on the way the rest of the round plays out.

And if the way things are playing out isn't sitting well with you, the audio and cinemas won't do much to improve your mood. The mellow musical tracks would be pleasant enough to listen to if they weren't so abrasive and repetitive. The cutscenes are neither interesting nor well drawn.

They are a sign, however, that progress is being made; so I suppose I should be thankful for their inclusion, as the barely noticeable ramp-ups in difficulty certainly didn't make me feel like I was getting anywhere. Fewer matches with a significant increase in difficulty from one to the next might've made the Color Wars adventure more enjoyable, rewarding, and endurable.

Bikini Girls

~ BIKINI GIRLS ~
Excite Software
CD-ROM
1993

It's hard to give Bikini Girls even a semblance of serious treatment, as all who purchase it are aware it's a mere slideshow of sunbathers--an utter piece of detritus--and spend good cash on it solely for the sake of adding something relatively rare to their collections. It's hardly priced as a piece of detritus should be, however, and some of us with the collecting compulsion do hope to find at least a sliver of merit in every new piece we come across. As loathsome and unambitious as it is, Bikini Girls still could've been decent at what it does, and goodness knows most of us PCE-playing males aren't averse to the idea of browsing through pics of beautiful women. Having gathered over two hundred images for the BG project, Excite Software certainly gave themselves ample opportunity to get something right. With tongue firmly set in cheek, I heartily commend them for the "variety" of girls they served up to us, as the tough, the syrupy sweet, the active, and the chillin' all make our acquaintance.

Sadly, ridiculous poses and absurd attire often diminish the allure of the few good-looking women who somehow got themselves involved in this fiasco. Even more off-putting is the fact that many of the images are of such poor quality that the ladies end up looking like blocky bikini-clad monstrosities.

And then there are the portraits that are utterly pointless, "off-topic" shots undoubtedly tossed in by a wryly smiling jester at the Excite offices.

Bikini Girls is no game, but experiences with it are never devoid of challenge: sifting through dozens of horrific images for an undistorted photo of a decent-looking lady can be a grueling process indeed.

Nekketsu Koukou Dodgeball-bu CD Soccer-hen

~ NEKKETSU KOUKOU SOCCER CD ~
Naxat Soft / Technos Japan
Super CD-ROM
1991

The characters are blessed with voices, the crowd cheers for goals, and we're all exposed to forgettable red book tunes in the PCE CD rendition of Nekketsu Koukou Soccer. That stuff is largely frivolous, though; the only truly noteworthy deviation from the formula employed for the HuCard version of the game is the anime-style manner in which opening, closing, and intermediary scenes are presented.

While such cinemas were considered obligatory for PCE CD releases, I'm not sure that they affect the NKS experience in a positive way. Animated bits involving the blockheaded in-game sprites often play a significant part in endearing Kunio games to players; eschewing those distinctive character models and rendering the cast members as generic, stupid-looking anime kids detracts from the charm of the affair.

Nekketsu Koukou Dodgeball-bu PC Soccer-hen

~ NEKKETSU KOUKOU SOCCER ~
Naxat Soft / Technos Japan
HuCard
1992

With years of beaning and brawling already under their belts, the River City boys decided to put away their dodgeballs and brass knuckles and engage rival gangs in a fresh brand of warfare: soccer. As is the case with every other activity these no-necked fellows participate in, this version of soccer is marked by roughhousing and wackiness; it's a Hit the Ice-type take on the sport. In a case of innovation gone awry, a participant in a one-player tournament has direct control over only a single member of the club (though commands can be barked at bumbling teammates). Play time is largely spent scuffling for the ball, and matches quickly degenerate into shallow, special-shot-dominated affairs, leaving little to appeal to those not enamored of the "adorable" character designs.

The key to succeeding on offense is executing bicycle kicks and special head shots that most computer-controlled goaltenders have little hope of deflecting.

Of course, your opponents can perform their own distinct types of nigh-unstoppable shots. A simple nudge by these cretins can turn a mere soccer ball into a zigzagging comet or an electrically charged orb of destruction.

The "rumbles" take place on a variety of playing fields. You can stub your toe on rock-littered turf and extend your slides on icy surfaces, but ultimately, the environmental factors play very minor roles.

While they're hardly uproarious, the humorous start-up and intermission bits do add some charm to the proceedings.

If you can't read Japanese, do a bit of web scouring to figure out what's what on the "strategy" screen. If you'd rather not bother, rest assured you can get by just fine with the default settings.

Once you've settled on a game plan, you'll have to go up against thirteen rival gangs, among which are such notorious crime factions as the fishing gang and the mining gang.

Be forewarned that you'll receive little reward for running the whole gauntlet.

Macross: Eien no Love Song

~ MACROSS: ETERNAL LOVE SONG ~

NCS/Masaya

Super CD-ROM

1992

I never thought such a thing would be possible, but in Eternal Love Song, I found a strategy game that I actually really enjoy. It's reminiscent of fellow NCS/Masaya product Langrisser in matters of gameplay and presentation, but it's much, much better in so many different ways.

The strategizing here involves taking advantage of the myriad weapons (and, in some cases, various forms) at the disposal of your mecha. Each type of machine has its own strengths and weaknesses, of course, but they can all dish out serious damage if you place them prudently about the battle zone, make optimal use of their special limited-ammo armaments, and remember to take into consideration their respective attack ranges. This isn't the boring rock-paper-scissors sort of bullshit that Langrisser wallows in with its soldier-archer-horseman system (which often has pods either produce all-out massacres or find themselves unable even to scratch their opponents). Practically everything can lay a solid beating on everything else here, but you need to be discreet when deciding if the time is right to unleash a mighty missile attack or separate from your fleet and soar across the field.

Another advantage of the ELS system is that it doesn't land you in Langrisser-type situations where you have to drag troops across the map just so that they can fight the enemy breed they're "suited for." And while terrain bonuses and penalties are present here, the battlefields are wide open for the most part, so there are no ridiculous sequences a la the Langrisser scenarios that require players to squeeze their whole damn cavalry through a corridor or across a bridge that's two tiles wide. I'm sure some serious-minded strategy-game fans would say that these things make ELS too simple or easy compared to "masterpieces" like Langrisser, but I say they make it a lot more fun to play.

Of course, the Macross theme doesn't hurt, as fans of Robotech and Super Dimension Fortress: Macross will find a lot to like about Love Song's plot. The first half of the LS tale is basically a retelling of one of the anime's most significant sub-stories. It focuses on the fiery Misty, a highly skilled Meltrandi pilot who micronizes herself to mingle with and spy on the enemy Earthlings. She eventually discovers the delights of human culture and ends up falling for a micronian ace (sound familiar?). The second half has you settle some old scores from 2036, so be prepared to encounter a few longtime friends and foes if you've played through that game.

It all climaxes with a string of intense outer-space showdowns, one of which involves the launching of a "Minmay attack" (Mari Iijima's incredible "Do You Remember Love?" augments the action).

The cinemas detailing the intriguing story are pretty good, certainly superior to Langrisser's interludes, and there are lots of them (one preceding each of the twenty-nine missions in addition to opening and ending sequences). The in-game map screens are par for the strategy-games course visually, but the side-view unit-vs.-unit skirmishes (which play out automatically) feature multilayer scrolling and large ships and mecha.

Sadly, you'll need to turn off the combat sketch-scenes after a while or the missions will last way too long for even the most patient person to sit through. You'll never feel the need to turn off the outstanding audio, though. Love Song's soundtrack features its fair share of remixed Macross stuff, but most of the tunes are original, not to mention fantastic. The melodic hooks and rockin' riffs are all atmospheric and memorable.

ELS failed to change the way I view its peers; I didn't rush out to buy more strategy games after conquering it. It was so enjoyable, though, that it established itself as the only one I'll ever really need. Still, I can't help but wish there were a Southern Cross game just like it.

Magicoal

~ MAGICOAL ~

NEC Home Electronics / HUNEX / Human

Super CD-ROM

1993

Magicoal appears to be an action-RPG in the Zelda vein, but rather than having players go around slashing things to pieces, it has them employ a myriad of magical powers to complete various tasks. Indeed, while blade wielding has its place in the playable characters' skill sets, the game's hack-and-slash mechanics are somewhat lacking, and approaching missions with the mentality that enemies must be carved up will lead to a very clunky experience. You'll enjoy far more success and have a great deal more fun if you set about eliminating your foes via magical means: call on gigantic claws to emerge from the turf, summon elemental spirits to turn the tide of battle, and sic relentless fire dragons on your hapless adversaries.

The misfit spellcasters who take center stage here don't begin their journey as masters of magic. You must be vigilant to acquire knowledge of the most effective spells. Make sure to scour every nook and cranny of each town and cave you come across, and don't allow any NPCs to scuttle off before they've conversed with both of the gregarious protagonists. Incantations the heroes learn are documented and explained in a "book" you may peruse at your convenience.

While you'll need to do plenty of exploring and experimenting in order to fill out your spell tome, the quest itself is fairly linear. Your two-wizard caravan (each member of which can be controlled by a separate player) travels from one (usually mazelike) area to the next. Even if you're unable to read Japanese, only a few zones will prove difficult to get through, with the simple solution to any given conundrum often being to examine every inch of wall for the sake of stumbling upon "secrets," be they obscured entryways or buried trinkets. Be aware that an underground waterway will stand as an exit-less tomb unless you think to destroy two seemingly purposeless statues, and a certain bumbling young sorcerer will refuse to be of any assistance to you unless Melvy (the female member of your duo) has in her possession a particular item at precisely the right time. Maintaining amiable relations with your characters' newfound acquaintances is essential for making headway in some sections.

Even if you tackle the game without another player's assistance, both wizards will be at your command and ever available for you to switch between. While Magicoal manages to avoid devolving into a nigh-unplayable dual-character absurdity a la NES X-Men, you'll often notice your computer-controlled ally acting like an idiot (standing in place while firing at a beast on the other side of a wall or stumbling face first into attacks unleashed by enemy creatures) if left to his or her own designs. Some boss fights can be arduous experiences if your dimwitted companion sabotages your efforts by blundering around.

While its gameplay is anything but refined, Magicoal is an appealing game aesthetically. Its visuals are bright and colorful, and its music calls to mind the brilliant Emerald Dragon soundtrack at times. Its many cinemas frequently offset mediocre character sketches with chuckle-eliciting skits.

Be prepared for some trying times if you have a go at Magicoal sans the aid of another player. But there really is a lot to like about it, and its makers clearly put a great deal of heart and effort into their creation.